Between Yes and No

But where am I now?
And how can I separate this deserted cafe from that room in my past?
I don't know any longer whether I'm living or remembering.
The beams from the lighthouse are here.
And the Arab stands in front of me telling me that he is going to close.
I have to leave.
I no longer want to make such dangerous descents.
It is true, as I take a last look at the bay and its light, that what wells up in me is not the hope of better days but a serene and primitive indifference to everything and to myself.
But I must break this too limp and easy curve.
I need my lucidity.
Yes, everything is simple.
It's men who complicate things.
Don't let them tell us any stories.
Don't let them say about the man condemned to death:
"He is going to pay his debt to society,"
but:
"They're going to chop his head off."
It may seem like nothing.
But it does make a little difference.
There are some people who prefer to look their destiny straight in the eye.

-- "Between Yes and No" from The Wrong Side and the Right Side, 
a collection of essays 
by Albert Camus