What is Complex PTSD?

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is an accepted diagnosis that is used in cases where people had a traumatic event happen in adulthood (like taking part in a violent battle, or having a car accident). 

The symptoms include flashbacks, anxiety, depression, insomnia, social withdrawal and explosive emotions, among other things. 

Another, second of PTSD is Complex PTSD (or CPTSD) which is caused by chronic, ongoing exposure to emotional or physical trauma, such as living through a war, being in an abusive relationship, or growing up neglected or abused. 

It’s this variant of CPTSD I call “Childhood PTSD,” because most people intuitively understand what it means.

Childhood PTSD is only now finding its way into diagnostic manuals, but it tends to follow a common pattern that can be observed and measured, and is now a huge area of research and advocacy worldwide. The biggest and most impactful study so far is probably The ACE Study, which has become an accepted (if imperfect) way to measure the scope of a person’s early trauma, and to predict how it may affect them throughout life.

The study of the impact of “adverse childhood experiences” (ACEs) began when physician researchers Vincent Felitti of Kaiser Permanente and Robert Anda of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control interviewed hundreds of study participants about their history of trauma. 

Felitti and Anda created a survey that asks about ten traumatic experiences that can happen in childhood. Respondents gave themselves one point for each experience on the list they checked as a “yes.”

So a person’s ACE score is somewhere between zero and ten. 

The ten adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs include:  

1. Physical abuse  
2. Sexual abuse  
3. Emotional abuse  
4. Physical neglect  
5. Emotional neglect  
6. Mother treated violently  
7. Household substance abuse  
8. Household mental illness  
9. Parental separation or divorce  
10. Incarcerated household member  

There are many other experiences that could be included, like the death of a parent, or being bullied in school, or being desperately poor, or a living as a refugee, just to name a few. 

You can take this into consideration when you take the test.

The researchers found that the higher your ACE score, the higher the probability that you’ll experience certain problems in your life. Many of these are well known, such as depression, anxiety, smoking and other addictions, eating disorders, violent behavior, or being in a violent relationship.  

But the study showed other correlations that were quite surprising.

Higher ACE scores increase the likelihood of cognitive difficulties including ADHD, memory problems and learning disabilities. They’re linked with heart disease, obesity, diabetes, migraines, cancer, autoimmune diseases like multiple sclerosis, thyroid disorders, chronic fatigue, rheumatoid arthritis reproductive disorders like endometriosis and pelvic inflammatory disease, gastrointestinal disorders, fibromyalgia and chronic pain, chronic lung disease and stroke.  

This was big news — that trauma in childhood can play a significant role in behavioral and physiological problems in adults. And what this means is that learning to heal Childhood PTSD is one of the most important things we can do as people, and as a society.

How Does Early Trauma Cause Childhood PTSD?  

“Trauma” is what we experienced as kids when the bad things were happening. When you’re a baby or small child, trauma is particularly toxic for your brain, and causes developmental changes. Emotional neglect can be even worse for your brain than physical abused (another unexpected recent finding). 

For healthy brain development, a child needs the parent to be connected with them, to make eye contact and talk to them, to respond to their feelings and their accomplishments.

If parents are dead, gone, drunk, high, obsessed with a partner, depressed or otherwise not paying attention, their child may learn to dissociate (it kind of means “to check out”), or grow frequently “dysregulated” in terms of the brain, nervous system or emotions. Traumatized children may also grow up with a limited capacity to connect with people, pay attention or learn.  

These brain changes have consequences for physical health. A traumatized child may have headaches and stomach troubles, but as he or she grows to adulthood, even more serious problems can show up. It’s not well understood yet how or why, but the health, emotional and cognitive problems associated with Childhood PTSD are all related to nervous system dysregulation.

Are the Symptoms of CPTSD Different than PTSD? 

Trauma is also at play in PTSD. In the case of combat veterans, for example, they come back from war experiences and might find themselves anxious, depressed, or having trouble sleeping, connecting with people or dealing with the bad memories.  They might have “flashbacks,” where they remember something or dream about it, and forget for a moment that this is now, and the old trauma is not actually happening. Their body is reacting as if it is happening now, with heart pounding, adrenaline pumping, and other stress hormones...pushing their bodies into a stressful overdrive. If the reaction keeps happening, it can wear them down. Combat vets with PTSD have a high rate of drinking, using drugs and even suicide.  

Those of us who had traumatic childhoods may develop Complex PTSD, or CPTSD, which can be similar to adult-onset PTSD, but it’s not the same thing. 

There are two specific symptoms that mark CPTSD:

• Emotional Flashbacks: Unlike specific memories of events, emotional flashbacks involve strong negative emotions that don’t seem on the surface connected to anything happening in present time. A person will be overwhelmed (for small reasons or no reasons) with an overwhelming sense of sadness, rage, terror or frustration. It can happen when you wake up, for example, or when someone criticizes you, or gives you a present. You are not reliving some childhood experience consciously — you know that you are here in present time. But your emotions respond as if your original childhood trauma is happening again. 

• Dysregulation:  Childhood trauma is associated with a tendency to become dysregulated, not just emotionally but neurologically. Everyone gets dysregulated sometimes, and most of us eventually re-regulate. But people with Childhood PTSD may spend more time in a dysregulated state and have difficulty re-regulating. You might feel numbness in your hands or mouth, get lost while driving, or find yourself unable to finish a sentence. Dysregulation can also lead to illness, learning difficulties and emotional overreactions. When you’re dysregulated, part of your brain is actually shut down (an old response to unbearable stress when your brain was developing). Without your full brain working, you are not fully yourself. So you may seem to have too much or too little emotion, and say things you don’t really mean (they seem true in the moment, but only because you’re operating with half a brain!).  

Four Discoveries That Inform My Approach to Healing Symptoms of CPTSD :

• Recent research has shown that abuse, neglect and other trauma cause brain changes in children. This damage, in turn, can cause cognitive impairment, emotional problems and chronic disease. Though much of the damage can be reversed, it’s important to be aware of how these events can have such a broad impact on every part of our lives.  

• Focusing on your childhood traumas will not, by itself, produce recovery. While taking stock of what happened is a useful first step, putting attention on bad things can actually retraumatize you, and in the retraumatized state, it can be impossible to reason, remember or integrate information. This is one of the main reasons that talk therapy doesn’t work very well for trauma, and why other methods of recovery are necessary. Focusing on childhood can also emphasize blame, which ultimately keeps you trapped.  

• Learning to regulate your emotions makes change possible. The problem is not so much the memories, but the unregulated emotions they trigger. In these hyper-emotional states we are prone to (and even crave) destructive behaviors. The sooner we can recognize that this “flooding” is happening, the sooner we can interrupt the flood. We can do this with quick interventions, like stepping away, refraining from speaking, breathing deeply, writing our fears and resentments on paper, or counting to ten — or ongoing practices like daily writing, meditation, exercise and connecting with like-minded others.  

• Instead of talking about it, taking action and making strong decisions about your life is the most powerful way to change your health, your thinking, and your behavior. Granted, past trauma can have a big impact on your functioning today, and messed-up families can pass on some dysfunctional beliefs and habits. But your past can’t change and your family is unlikely to change. It is you and only you who can change your life, and everything now depends on your willingness to take action. 

Anna Runkle

Estoicismo

A filosofia não promete assegurar 

nada externo ao homem, 

caso contrário estaria admitindo algo que 

está além do seu próprio tema. 

Pois assim como o material do carpinteiro é a madeira, e o da estatuária, o bronze, 

o tema da arte de viver 

é a própria vida de cada pessoa.  

 — Epicteto, Discursos

Estoicismo é uma escola e doutrina filosófica surgida na Grécia Antiga, que preza a fidelidade ao conhecimento e o foco em tudo aquilo que pode ser controlado pela própria pessoa. 

Despreza todos os tipos de sentimentos externos, como a paixão e os desejos extremos.

 

É uma escola de filosofia helenística que floresceu na Grécia Antiga e na Roma Antiga. Os estoicos acreditavam que a prática da virtude era suficiente para alcançar a eudaimonia: uma vida bem vivida. Os estoicos identificaram o caminho para alcançá-lo com uma vida praticando as quatro virtudes na vida quotidiana: sabedoria, coragem, temperança ou moderação, e justiça, e vivendo de acordo com a natureza. Foi fundada na antiga Ágora de Atenas por Zenão de Cítio por volta de 300 a.C..

O nome estoicismo deriva de Stoa Poikile (grego antigo: ἡ ποικίλη στοά), ou "pórtico pintado", uma colunata decorada com cenas de batalha míticas e históricas no lado norte da Ágora, em Atenas, onde Zenão de Cítio e os seus seguidores se reuniram para discutir as suas ideias, perto do final do século IV a.C..[5] Ao contrário dos epicuristas, Zenão optou por ensinar a sua filosofia num espaço público. O estoicismo era originalmente conhecido como zenonismo. No entanto, este nome foi logo abandonado, provavelmente porque os estoicos não consideravam os seus fundadores perfeitamente sábios e para evitar o risco de a filosofia se tornar um culto de personalidade.

As ideias de Zenão desenvolveram-se a partir das dos cínicos (levadas a ele por Crates de Tebas), cujo pai fundador, Antístenes, havia sido discípulo de Sócrates. O sucessor mais influente de Zenão foi Crisipo, que seguiu Cleantes como líder da escola, e foi responsável por moldar o que hoje é chamado de estoicismo. O estoicismo tornou-se a filosofia popular mais importante entre a elite educada no mundo helenístico e no Império Romano a ponto de, nas palavras de Gilbert Murray, "quase todos os sucessores de Alexandre [...] professarem-se como estoicos"

Ao lado da ética de Aristóteles, a tradição estoica constitui uma das principais abordagens fundadoras da ética das virtudes. Os estoicos são especialmente conhecidos por ensinar que “a virtude é o único bem” para os seres humanos, e que as coisas externas, como a saúde, a riqueza e o prazer, não são boas ou más em si mesmas (adiáfora), mas têm valor como “material para a virtude agir sobre”. Muitos estoicos - como Séneca e Epicteto - enfatizaram que, como "a virtude é suficiente para a felicidade", um sábio seria emocionalmente resiliente ao infortúnio. Os estoicos também sustentavam que certas emoções destrutivas resultavam de erros de julgamento e acreditavam que as pessoas deveriam ter como objetivo manter uma vontade (chamada prohairesis) que estivesse "de acordo com a natureza". Por causa disso, os estoicos pensavam que a melhor indicação da filosofia de um indivíduo não era o que a pessoa dizia, mas como a pessoa se comportava. Para viver uma vida boa, era preciso compreender as regras da ordem natural, pois acreditavam que tudo estava enraizado na natureza.

O estoicismo floresceu em todo o mundo romano e grego até o século III d.C., e entre os seus adeptos estava o imperador Marco Aurélio. O estoicismo experienciou um declínio depois que do Cristianismo se ter tornado a religião oficial no século 4 d.C.. Desde então, viu renascimento, nomeadamente na Renascença (Neostoicismo) e na era contemporânea (Estoicismo moderno).

Os estudiosos geralmente dividem a história do estoicismo em três fases: 

1. Estoa Antiga, ou ético, desde a fundação de Zenão até Antípatro, 
2. Estoa Média, ou eclético, incluindo Panécio e Posidônio, e 
3. Estoa Tardia, ou recente, incluindo Musónio Rufo, Séneca, Epicteto e Marco Aurélio. 

Nenhuma obra completa sobreviveu das duas primeiras fases do estoicismo. 

Apenas textos romanos da Estoa Tardia sobreviveram. 

O estoicismo sobreviveu durante o Império Romano, incluindo a época do imperador Marco Aurélio, até que todas as escolas filosóficas foram proibidas em 529 d.C. por ordem do imperador Justiniano, em razão de suas características pagãs, contrárias aos preceitos da fé cristã, já então dominante.

FILOSOFIA

A filosofia estoica tem o foco na vida prática, nas ações e acontecimentos do quotidiano e em como o ser humano lida com esses acontecimentos racionalmente.

Segundo o pensamento estoico, há coisas que não estão sob o controle das pessoas e há coisas que são possíveis de serem controladas. Neste caso, sobre o que não é possível controlar, como o clima, por exemplo, não há nada que possa ser feito para alterar o seu estado.

A ataraxia, a autossuficiência, a negação de sentimentos externos e o enfrentamento dos problemas através da razão são ensinamentos da filosofia cujo objetivo é mostrar que o indivíduo deve se concentrar apenas no que é possível controlar. Deve ser grato ao que já possui e negar os prazeres e emoções extremas:

           Ataraxia

O foco da filosofia estoica é a conquista da felicidade por meio da ataraxia, um ideal de tranquilidade em que é possível viver serenamente e com paz de espírito. Para os estoicos, o indivíduo apenas poderia conseguir essa felicidade através das suas próprias virtudes, ou seja, dos seus conhecimentos.

Autossuficiência 

 

A autossuficiência é um dos principais objetivos dos estoicos. Isso porque o estoicismo prega que cada ser deve viver conforme a sua natureza, ou seja, deve agir de forma responsável com o que acontece na sua própria vida.

Assim sendo, como ser racional que é, o ser humano deve se valer das suas próprias virtudes em prol da conquista do seu maior propósito: a felicidade. 

 

Negação de sentimentos externos 

 

Os estoicos consideram que os sentimentos externos (paixão, luxúria, etc.) são nocivos ao ser humano, pois fazem com que ele deixe de ser imparcial e se torne irracional.

Todos esses sentimentos são tidos como vícios e como causadores de males absolutos que comprometem as tomadas de decisões e a organização dos pensamentos de forma lógica e inteligente.

Enfrentar os problemas através da razão 

 

Na busca pela vida tranquila e feliz, a filosofia estoica defende que todos os fatores externos que comprometem a perfeição moral e intelectual devem ser ignorados.

Mesmo na adversidade, em situações problemáticas ou difíceis, as pessoas devem optar por reagir sempre com calma, tranquilidade e racionalidade, sem deixar que os fatores externos comprometam a sua capacidade de julgamento e ação.

Segundo a filosofia estoica, os acontecimentos que estão fora do seu controle não podem proporcionar a felicidade. A felicidade depende unicamente dos acontecimentos dos quais se pode controlar.

  

Saber quais são as coisas que estão sob o controle de alguém e quais não estão. 

Entre as primeiras estão, por exemplo, as opiniões, julgamentos ou ações que se adota, e é sobre elas que se deve centrar a atenção, tendo em mente que há outras coisas que não podem ser controladas. 

  

  Nas palavras de Séneca: 

  "O homem sábio está preocupado com a intenção de suas ações, não com seus resultados".

 

O estoicismo moderno propõe que esta dicotomia de controle se torne uma tricotomia e se acrescente uma terceira opção, que seriam coisas sobre as quais se tem um controle parcial. 

  Um exemplo seria uma partida de ténis em que o resultado não está sob controle total porque variáveis como a habilidade do adversário, as condições climáticas ou a perícia do árbitro influenciam o resultado. Portanto, neste exemplo, o objetivo não deve ser ganhar a partida, mas jogar da melhor maneira possível, pois isso pode ser controlado.

Para o ser humano alcançar a verdadeira felicidade, deveria depender apenas da sua “virtude”, ou seja, os seus conhecimentos e valores, abdicando totalmente do “vício”, considerado pelos estoicos um mal absoluto.

O estoicismo também ensina a manter uma mente calma e racional, independente do que aconteça. Ensina que isso ajuda o ser humano a reconhecer e se concentrar naquilo que pode controlar e a não se preocupar e aceitar o que não pode controlar.

A pessoa estoica busca agir racionalmente, mesmo com a existência de sentimentos. 

Não que o estoico seja um indivíduo sem sentimentos, mas ele não é prisioneiro deles.

Os princípios da filosofia estoica, que norteiam os seguidores da doutrina, são:

• A virtude é o único bem e caminho para a felicidade;
• A pessoa deve sempre priorizar o conhecimento e o agir com a razão;
• O prazer é um inimigo do sábio;
• O universo é governado por uma razão universal natural e divina;
• As atitudes têm mais valor que as palavras, ou seja, o que é feito tem mais importância do que é dito;
• Os sentimentos externos tornam o ser humano um ser irracional e não imparcial;
• Não se deve perguntar porque algo aconteceu na sua vida, e sim aceitar sem reclamar, focando apenas no que pode ser modificado e controlado naquela situação;
• Saber diferenciar o que é bom, mau e indiferente;
• Assumir a responsabilidade pelo que posso controlar; 
• Tudo ao nosso redor acontece de acordo com uma lei de causa e efeito;
• A vida e as circunstâncias não são idealizadas. O indivíduo precisa conviver e aceitar a sua vida da forma que ela é;
• Amar seu destino, porque não tem outro.
• Dor e Doença, duas oportunidades para exercitar nossas virtudes;
• Transformar obstáculos em oportunidades.

 

A partir destes princípios é possível entender que uma pessoa estoica é aquela que não se deixa levar por crenças, paixões e sentimentos capazes de tirar a racionalidade de uma pessoa na hora de agir, como desejos, dor, medo e prazer. Isso por essas circunstâncias serem infundadas e irracionais.

Uma das características do estoicismo que fez dele uma das correntes filosóficas dominantes foi sua natureza prática; foi entendido como uma espécie de caixa de ferramentas que lhes permitiu avançar em direção à autorrealização. 

Portanto, e assumindo que o verdadeiro estoico é um ideal para aspirar, e não um objetivo, algumas dessas ferramentas são as seguintes:

 | Identificar o que você pode controlar e o que você não pode controlar

 | Lidar com as emoções negativas e analisá-las usando a razão

 | Concentrar-se no momento presenta e evitar sofrimento emocional pelo passado ou futuro

 | Preocupar-se com os pensamentos, evitando a dependência de coisas externas.

 | Escrever um diário estoico e anotar as coisas importantes de cada dia para analisar o que deu certo, o que deu errado e o que ainda falta fazer.

Os estoicos forneceram um relato unificado do mundo, construído a partir de ideais de lógica, física monista e ética naturalista. Destes, eles enfatizaram a ética como o foco principal do conhecimento humano, embora as suas teorias lógicas fossem de maior interesse para os filósofos posteriores.

O estoicismo ensina o desenvolvimento do autocontrolo como meio de superar emoções destrutivas; a filosofia sustenta que tornar-se um pensador claro e imparcial permite compreender a razão universal (logos). O aspeto principal do estoicismo envolve a melhoria do bem-estar ético e moral do indivíduo: 

“A virtude consiste numa vontade que está de acordo com a Natureza”. Este princípio também se aplica ao domínio das relações interpessoais; “estar livre da raiva, da inveja e do ciúme”, e aceitar até mesmo os escravos como “iguais aos outros homens, porque todos os homens são produtos da natureza”.

Bertrand Russell

in, A History of Western Philosophy

 

As quatro virtudes são traços de caráter que devemos agir de acordo e valorizar nos outros:

1. Sabedoria: agir de forma sábia significa tomar decisões com excelência, realizar julgamentos com base na razão e diferenciar entre o certo e o errado. É uma importante virtude por sustentar as outras três.
2. Coragem: agir de forma corajosa significa enfrentar situações amedrontadoras, incertas, intimidadoras e difíceis sem covardia.
3. Temperança: agir de forma moderada significa evitar o excesso, agir de forma equilibrada, ter autocontrole e não se deixar levar por desejos desenfreados. Significa não deixar a busca por prazeres se sobrepor à razão.
4. Justiça: agir de forma justa significa ser razoável, íntegro e honesto ao lidar com o outro. Sem a justiça, a sabedoria, coragem e temperança podem se transformar em vícios. Por isso, as quatro virtudes precisam existir em harmonia.

Para os Estoicos, não importa seu cargo no trabalho, seus patrimónios, sua posição social, seu momento de vida, ou se usa gravata ou tshirt. O que importa são apenas o seu caráter, os valores, e a integridade das suas ações. É por esse motivo que o Estoicismo era praticado por ricos e pobres, nobres e escravos.

A ética estoica defende uma perspetiva determinística; em relação àqueles que carecem de virtude estoica, Cleantes uma vez opinou que o homem mau é "como um cão amarrado a uma carroça e compelido a ir aonde quer que ela vá".

Um estoico virtuoso, por outro lado, alteraria a sua vontade para se adequar ao mundo e permaneceria, nas palavras de Epicteto, "doente e ainda assim feliz, em perigo e ainda assim feliz, morrendo e ainda assim feliz, no exílio e feliz, em desgraça e feliz", postulando assim uma vontade individual "completamente autónoma" e ao mesmo tempo um Universo que é "um todo único rigidamente determinista". 

Este ponto de vista foi mais tarde descrito como “Panteísmo Clássico” (e foi adotado pelo filósofo holandês Baruch Spinoza).

Os estoicos afirmavam que haviam quatro categorias:

1. Substância (ὑποκείμενον): A matéria primária, substância sem forma, (ousia) da qual as coisas são feitas
2. Qualidade (ποιόν): A forma como a matéria é organizada para formar um objeto individual; na física estoica, um ingrediente físico (pneuma: ar ou respiração), que informa o assunto
3. De alguma forma disposto (πως ἔχον): Características particulares, não presentes no objeto, como tamanho, forma, ação e postura
4. De alguma forma disposto em relação a algo (πρός τί πως ἔχον): Características relacionadas a outros fenómenos, como a posição de um objeto no tempo e no espaço em relação a outros objetos

Os estoicos sustentavam que todos os seres (ὄντα)—embora nem todas as coisas (τινά)—são materiais. 

Além dos seres existentes, admitiam quatro incorpóreos (asomata): tempo, lugar, vazio e dizível.

Eles eram considerados apenas “subsistentes”, enquanto tal estatuto era negado aos universais. Assim, aceitaram a ideia de Anaxágoras (tal como Aristóteles) de que se um objeto é quente é porque alguma parte de um corpo térmico universal entrou no objeto. Mas, ao contrário de Aristóteles, ampliaram a ideia para abranger todos os acidentes. Assim, se um objeto for vermelho, será porque alguma parte de um corpo vermelho universal entrou no objeto.

Os estoicos delinearam que as nossas próprias ações, pensamentos e reações estão sob o nosso controlo. 

O parágrafo de abertura do Enchiridion declara as categorias como: 

"Algumas coisas no mundo dependem de nós, enquanto outras não. 

Dependem de nós as nossas faculdades de julgamento, motivação, desejo e aversão. 

Em suma, o que quer que seja da nossa responsabilidade."

Estes sugerem um espaço que depende de nós ou está ao nosso alcance.

Os estoicos propuseram que o conhecimento pode ser alcançado através do uso da razão: 

A verdade pode ser distinguida da falácia – mesmo que, na prática, apenas uma aproximação possa ser feita. Segundo os estoicos, os sentidos recebem constantemente sensações: pulsações que passam dos objetos através dos sentidos para a mente, onde deixam uma impressão na imaginação (phantasiai) (uma impressão que surge da mente era chamada de phantasma).

A mente tem a capacidade de julgar (συγκατάθεσις, synkatathesis) - aprovar ou rejeitar - uma impressão, permitindo-lhe distinguir uma representação verdadeira da realidade de uma que é falsa. Algumas impressões podem ser aceites imediatamente, mas outras podem alcançar apenas graus variados de aprovação hesitante, que podem ser rotuladas como crença ou opinião (doxa). É somente através da razão que obtemos compreensão e convicção claras (katalepsis). O conhecimento certo e verdadeiro (episteme), alcançável pelo sábio estoico, só pode ser alcançado verificando a convicção com a experiência dos seus pares e o julgamento coletivo da humanidade.

Física

Segundo os estoicos, o Universo é uma substância material de raciocínio (logos), que foi dividida em duas classes: a ativa e a passiva.

 A substância passiva é a matéria, que “permanece indolente, uma substância pronta para qualquer uso, mas que certamente permanecerá desempregada se ninguém a colocar em movimento”.

A substância ativa é um éter inteligente ou fogo primordial, que atua sobre a matéria passiva:

“O próprio universo é Deus e a efusão universal da sua alma; é o princípio orientador deste mesmo mundo, operando na mente e na razão, juntamente com a natureza comum das coisas e a totalidade que abrange toda a existência; então o poder e a necessidade preordenados do futuro; depois o fogo e o princípio do éter; depois, aqueles elementos cujo estado natural é de fluxo e transição, como a água, a terra e o ar; depois o sol, a lua, as estrelas; e a existência universal na qual todas as coisas estão contidas.”

 

— Crisipo, Em De Natura Deorum de Cícero

Tudo está sujeito às leis do Destino, pois o Universo age de acordo com a sua própria natureza e com a natureza da matéria passiva que governa. As almas dos humanos e dos animais são emanações deste Fogo primordial e estão, da mesma forma, sujeitas ao Destino:

“Considere constantemente o universo como um ser vivo, tendo uma substância e uma alma; e observe como todas as coisas têm referência a uma perceção, a perceção deste ser vivo; e como todas as coisas agem com um movimento; e como todas as coisas são causas cooperantes de todas as coisas que existem; observe também a rotação contínua do fio e a estrutura da teias.”

 

— Marco Aurélio, Meditações

As almas individuais são perecíveis por natureza e podem ser “transmutadas e difundidas, assumindo uma natureza ígnea ao serem recebidas na razão seminal ("logos spermatikos") do Universo”. Visto que a razão correta é a base da humanidade e do Universo.

A teologia estoica é um panteísmo fatalista e naturalista: 

Deus nunca é totalmente transcendente, mas sempre imanente e identificado com a Natureza. 

As religiões abraâmicas personalizam Deus como uma entidade criadora do mundo, mas o estoicismo iguala Deus à totalidade do universo; segundo a cosmologia estoica, que é muito semelhante à conceção hindu de existência, não há início absoluto do tempo, pois é considerado infinito e cíclico. Da mesma forma, o espaço e o Universo não têm começo nem fim, mas são cíclicos. 

O Universo atual é uma fase do ciclo atual, precedida por um número infinito de Universos, fadados a serem destruídos ("ekpyrōsis", conflagração) e recriados novamente, e a serem seguidos por outro número infinito de Universos. 

O estoicismo considera toda a existência como cíclica, o cosmos como eternamente autocriador e autodestrutivo.

O estoicismo não postula um começo ou fim para o Universo.

Segundo os estoicos, o logos era a razão ativa ou anima mundi que permeia e anima todo o Universo. Foi concebido como material e geralmente é identificado com Deus ou com a Natureza. 

Os estoicos também se referiam à razão seminal ("logos spermatikos"), ou à lei da geração no Universo, que era o princípio da razão ativa atuando na matéria inanimada. 

Cada ser humano também possui uma porção do logos divino, que é o Fogo primordial e a razão que controla e sustenta o Universo.

Ética

O fundamento da ética estoica é que o bem reside no próprio estado da alma, na sabedoria e no autocontrolo. É preciso, portanto, esforçar-se para estar livre das paixões. 

Para os estoicos, a razão significava usar a lógica e compreender os processos da natureza – o logos ou razão universal, inerente a todas as coisas. 

A palavra grega pathos era um termo abrangente que indicava uma imposição que alguém sofria. Os estoicos usaram a palavra para discutir muitas emoções comuns, como raiva, medo e alegria excessiva. Uma paixão é uma força perturbadora e enganadora na mente que ocorre devido a uma falha em raciocinar corretamente.

Para o estoico Crisipo, as paixões são julgamentos avaliativos. 

Uma pessoa que experiencia tal emoção valorizou incorretamente uma coisa indiferente.

Uma falha de julgamento, alguma falsa noção do bem ou do mal, está na raiz de cada paixão.

O julgamento incorreto quanto a um bem presente dá origem ao deleite, enquanto que a luxúria é uma estimativa errada sobre o futuro.

Imaginações irreais do mal causam angústia no presente ou medo no futuro. 

O estoico ideal, em vez disso, mediria as coisas pelo seu valor real, e veria que as paixões não são naturais. Estar livre das paixões é ter uma felicidade autossuficiente. Não haveria nada a temer – pois a irracionalidade é o único mal; não há motivo para raiva – pois os outros não podem prejudicá-lo.

Os estoicos organizaram as paixões em quatro categorias: 

angústia, prazer, medo e luxúria.

Um relato das definições estoicas destas paixões aparece no tratado On Passions de Pseudo-Andronicus:

1. Angústia (lupē): A angústia é uma contração irracional, ou uma nova opinião de que algo mau está presente, na qual as pessoas acham correto estarem deprimidas.
2. Medo (phobos): O medo é uma aversão irracional, ou evitamento de um perigo esperado.
3. Luxúria (epithumia): A luxúria é um desejo irracional, ou busca de um bem esperado, mas na realidade ruim.
4. Prazer (hēdonē): O prazer é um inchaço irracional, ou uma nova opinião de que algo bom está presente, na qual as pessoas acham correto ficarem eufóricas.

Duas destas paixões (angústia e prazer) referem-se a emoções atualmente presentes, e duas destas (medo e luxúria) referem-se a emoções direcionadas ao futuro. 

Assim, existem apenas dois estados direcionados à perspetiva do bem e do mal, mas subdivididos quanto ao facto de serem presentes ou futuros.

Numerosas subdivisões da mesma classe foram colocadas sob o título de paixões separadas:

• Angústia: Inveja, Rivalidade, Ciúme, Compaixão, Ansiedade, Pranto, Tristeza, Perturbação, Luto, Lamento, Depressão, Vexação, Desânimo.
• Medo: Lentidão, Vergonha, Medo, Timidez, Consternação, Pusilanimidade, Perplexidade e Modéstia.
• Luxúria: Raiva, Fúria, Ódio, Inimizade, Ira, Ganância e Saudade.
• Prazer: Malícia, Arrebatamento e Ostentação.

O sábio (sophos) é alguém livre das paixões (apatheia). 

Em vez disso, o sábio experiencia bons sentimentos (eupatheia) que são lúcidos. 

Estes impulsos emocionais não são excessivos, mas também não são emoções diminuídas.

Ao invés disso, são as emoções racionais corretas.

Os estoicos listavam os bons sentimentos sob os títulos de alegria (chara), desejo (boulesis) e cautela (elabeia). Assim, se estiver presente algo que seja um bem genuíno, então a pessoa sábia experiencia uma elevação na alma – alegria (chara).

Os estoicos também subdividiram os bons sentimentos:

• Alegria: Prazer, Alegria, Bom ânimo
• Desejo: Boa intenção, Boa vontade, Acolhimento, Carinho, Amor
• Cuidado: Vergonha moral, Reverência

Suicídio

Os estoicos aceitavam que o suicídio era permitido à pessoa sábia em circunstâncias que poderiam impedi-la de viver uma vida virtuosa, se fosse vítima de dor ou doença intensa, mas, caso contrário, o suicídio geralmente seria visto como uma rejeição do dever social do sábio.

Por exemplo, Plutarco relata que aceitar a vida sob a tirania teria comprometido a autoconsistência (constantia) de Catão como estoico e prejudicado a sua liberdade de fazer escolhas morais honrosas.

Amor e sexualidade

Os estoicos primitivos diferiam significativamente dos estoicos posteriores nas suas opiniões sobre sexualidade, amor romântico e relacionamentos sexuais.

Zenão defendeu primeiro uma república governada pelo amor e não pela lei, onde o casamento seria abolido, as esposas seriam mantidas em comum e o erotismo seria praticado tanto com meninos quanto com meninas com fins educativos, para desenvolver a virtude nos entes queridos.

No entanto, ele não condenou o casamento em si, considerando-o igualmente uma ocorrência natural. Ele considerava as relações entre pessoas do mesmo sexo de forma positiva e sustentava que os homens sábios deveriam "ter conhecimento carnal nem menos nem mais de um favorito do que de um não favorito, nem de uma mulher do que de um homem."

Zenão favoreceu o amor sobre o desejo, esclarecendo que o objetivo final da sexualidade deveria ser a virtude e a amizade.

Entre os estoicos posteriores, Epicteto manteve o sexo homossexual e heterossexual como equivalentes neste campo, e condenou apenas o tipo de desejo que levava alguém a agir contra o julgamento. 

No entanto, as posições contemporâneas geralmente avançavam no sentido de equiparar a sexualidade à paixão e, embora ainda não fossem hostis às relações sexuais em si, acreditavam, no entanto, que estas deveriam ser limitadas para manter o autocontrolo.

Musonius defendia que o único tipo natural de sexo era aquele destinado à procriação, defendendo uma forma de união de facto entre homem e mulher, e considerava não naturais os relacionamentos realizados apenas por prazer ou afeto.

Filosofia social

Uma característica distintiva do estoicismo é o seu cosmopolitismo: todas as pessoas seriam manifestações do espírito universal único e deveriam, de acordo com os filósofos estoicos, em amor fraternal, ajudarem-se uns ao outros de maneira eficaz. 

Nos Discursos, Epicteto comenta sobre a relação do ser humano com o mundo: 

"cada ser humano é, primeiro, um cidadão da sua comunidade; mas também é membro da grande cidade dos homens e deuses...".

Esse sentimento ecoa o de Diógenes de Sínope, que disse: 

"Eu não sou nem ateniense nem coríntio, mas um cidadão do mundo".

Os estoicos da época promoviam a ideia de que as diferenças externas, como status e riqueza, não são importantes nas relações sociais. Em vez disso, advogavam a irmandade da humanidade e a natural igualdade do ser humano. O estoicismo tornou-se a mais influente escola do mundo greco-romano e produziu uma grande quantidade de escritores e personalidades de renome, como Catão, o Jovem e Epiteto.

Em particular, os estoicos eram notados pela sua defesa à clemência aos escravos. 

Sêneca exortava: 

"Lembra-te, com simpatia, de que aquele a quem chamas de escravo veio da mesma origem, os mesmos céus lhe sorriem, e, em iguais termos, contigo respira, vive e morre" 

O QUE É SER ESTÓICO E QUAIS SÃO SUAS CARACTERÍSTICAS?

A palavra estoico, no seu uso moderno, refere-se a uma pessoa que é indiferente ao prazer e à alegria, assim como à tristeza ou à dor. 

O Dicionário da Real Academia da Língua Espanhola define estoico como "Forte, equânime diante do infortúnio" e o mesmo se aplica ao Dicionário de Oxford, que o define como uma pessoa que sofre dor ou problemas sem reclamar ou sem mostrar o que sente. No entanto, a doutrina estoica baseia-se mais em ser guiada pela razão e, como não se pode controlar o que acontece ao seu redor, controlar o que se pensa sobre o que acontece.

Por esta razão, o estoicismo se concentra especialmente nas emoções, às quais se refere como paixões, e que se divide em boas, más e indiferentes. 

As boas devem ser promovidas, as indiferentes ignoradas e as más têm que ser tratadas. 

A reflexão do estoicismo sobre isso é que as pessoas não são perturbadas pelas coisas que acontecem, mas pelas opiniões que têm sobre essas coisas que acontecem. Portanto, é uma questão de confrontar essas opiniões e, antes de assumi-las, questioná-las como se fossem hipóteses e não fatos firmes. Dessa forma, elas podem ser refutadas buscando uma perspectiva mais produtiva e obtendo uma resposta racional a essas paixões para transformá-las em emoções saudáveis.

Diferenças entre o Estoicismo e Epicurismo

O epicurismo também foi uma escola filosófica da Grécia Antiga, fundada entre 341 a 270 antes de Cristo, por Epicuro. Esta doutrina filosófica acreditava que o indivíduo só alcança a paz e a tranquilidade se encontrasse a ausência da dor.

Enquanto o estoicismo ensina que deve utilizar a razão, negar os prazeres terrenos e aceitar as dores e problemas, lidando apenas com o que pode ser controlado, o epicurismo prega que os indivíduos devem procurar prazeres moderados para alcançar um estado de tranquilidade e de libertação da dor.

No entanto, os prazeres não podem ser exagerados, pois, podem apresentar perturbações que dificultam o encontro da serenidade, felicidade e saúde corporal.

Enquanto isso, o estoicismo, contrariando o epicurismo, prega que a busca da felicidade está na eliminação dos prazeres e nas ações racionais diante de qualquer circunstância.

O epicurismo, por seu turno, é materialista. Não compreende que o universo possua uma ordem racional natural, não há uma razão universal que governa todo o universo, do qual a alma humana faça parte.

Enquanto isso, o estoicismo acredita que o universo é governado por uma ordem natural e divina.

  

Bibliografia:

George Stock, "Estoicismo: Guia Definitivo"

Pierre Grimal, "Marco Aurélio, o Imperador Filósofo"

Marcus Aurélius, "Meditações"

Bertrand Russell, "A History of Western Philosophy" 

Epicteto, "Enchiridion" ou "Manual do Epicteto"

Séneca, "Sobre a Brevidade da Vida" 

Ryan Holiday, "O Obstáculo é o Caminho"

  

  

Viver

Peter Herrmann

 Mas era apenas isso,

era isso, mais nada?

Era só a batida

numa porta fechada?

E ninguém respondendo,

nenhum gesto de abrir:

era, sem fechadura,

uma chave perdida?

Isso, ou menos que isso

uma noção de porta,

o projecto de abri-la

sem haver outro lado?

O projecto de escuta

à procura de som?

O responder que oferta

o dom de uma recusa?

Como viver o mundo

em termos de esperança?

E que palavra é essa

que a vida não alcança?

Carlos Drummond de Andrade

Chronic Dissatisfaction Syndrome

 

Do You Suffer Chronic Dissatisfaction?

I am tired of myself tonight. I should like to be somebody else. 

Oscar Wilde

Chronic Dissatisfaction (let’s just call it CD) stalked me for years.

Do you know CD?

The symptoms include restlessness, needing more of something indefinable and always shifting, feeling like you’re not there yet (but wondering where the hell there is.) CD pushed and nagged me that I was made for more, to be more and express more until I bled.

I seethed at myself when I felt it coming, gnawing chronic dissatisfaction. I judged myself for letting it invade me as a host again. I was furious that I felt so powerless to mollify or sate that slavering devourer of happiness.

Sometimes it turned me in knots of anxiety, sometimes it got me feeling so flat I didn’t want to move. Dissatisfaction with something, or everything, is a player in depression. It’s also there in anxiety, in the indeterminate dread that something’s not right and may at some point shockingly emerge and ambush you.

Recognise any of this yourself?

I felt it worst in my twenties. It’s a common time for CD to first show itself, during what’s sometimes called The Quarter-Life Crisis – an early 20’s existential angst period where we crave deeper meaning and purpose, in ourselves and in the world. Once CD has its hooks in you, it’s often a travelling companion on and off throughout life. Our celebrity-adoring, curated-life culture feeds CD, teasing us about whether we measure up, creating conditions that can keep us constantly doubting ourselves. Chronic Dissatisfaction is a close relative of that other perennial mind-stalker Fear of Failure to Fulfil Potential which also tends to rise up around the same time.

Years later, despite being more satisfied in my life than I’ve ever been, I’m still able to time warp right back into the feelings of dissatisfaction I had as a teenager and twenty-something, if I let myself.

I have everything I need, no reason for life or death struggles in my day to day, no reason for sadness, no reason for yearning or such blatant aching need. My life is full and rich. Yet there it is, writhing on home again through my veins like a parasite that sucks my lifeforce. CD is a feeling I recognise from long ago.

Sure, we have wins, but most of us never feel that CD’s completely solved – that’s the chronic in it – because as we grow and achieve a goal, always another deeper level or a higher standard to reach emerges. There’s always something greater, always something more just out ahead.

It’s healthy and adaptive to seek more, reach further, wonder what more we have in us, right? It’s a normal, self-actualising part of human growth, albeit not always a relaxing or very comfortable part. Dissatisfaction can be a great motivating force in life. The trouble is that it can also be disheartening, panic-inducing and exhausting.

Physical yoga practice, some exercise, used to see me through while I was doing it, but then…hello old friend…Now I’m much stronger with it. The years have taught me how to swim with it rather than sink.

Writing offers me huge solace in the catharsis of self-expression when I feel dissatisfaction trying to worm its way to the surface of my skin, infiltrating my words with self-doubt, whispering edits to try to suck the goodness out of easy pleasure. I tell it

“No, all is well”.

The difference between then and now is that I used to fear CD so much more. I was too afraid to speak to it directly, to look it in the face. Now I know it’s just a part of me that the rest of me isn’t entirely comfortable with, but I need to live with anyway. I take it in my stride when it shows up and check to see if it has anything useful to contribute today. 

Sometimes it’s there to tell you that you need to make a change, other times it’s rattling the pressure tin. The secret is having the patience and courage to see which of those emerges this time.

You can learn to work with your chronic dissatisfaction too. In fact, I recommend it for your mental health. Because, ugly as it is on first meeting, CD isn’t essentially a bad guy. These days I even feel safe enough with it to perversely enjoy its pressure sometimes when it lunges at me, because it helps me stay focused on living a life that has meaning for me. It stops me from wasting precious time on stuff that doesn’t matter, warns me off mediocrity and whispers

“What more, what more is possible?”

Blessed with riches and possibilities far beyond anything imagined by ancestors who tilled the unpredictable soil of medieval Europe, modern populations have nonetheless shown a remarkable capacity to feel that neither who they are nor what they have is quite enough. 

Alain de Botton

Am I Normal to Often Feel Dissatisfied?

You’ll probably recognise it: Restlessness, needing more of something indefinable, feeling like you’re not there yet (but wondering where the hell there is), episodes of yearning for something you can’t quite name, wondering if there’s more to this life than what you’re currently living …

CD used to commandeer my ship all the time, but experience has now taught me to channel CD’s intensity, and smile at my nagging, fickle and distracted mind, rather than being bullied by obsessive striving. It wasn’t always that way. 

Dissatisfaction can and will work against you if you let it push you around. It can turn you against yourself with self-criticism and anxiety, or paralyse you into fear of failure if you believe the ‘nothing’s ever good enough’ hype and take it as a personal attack on you.

• If you believe its pitch, CD can keep you stuck and seething in frustration that everything sucks, no matter how hard you run against the wind to make life great. 
• It can make self-doubt the norm rather than a temporary lapse of confidence or a prompt for pause and reflection. 
• At its most acute, CD can spiral into self-loathing or self-pity, or gradually morph into a general state of anxiety or depression. 

Unexamined or misinterpreted as something entirely abnormal, dissatisfaction can become dangerous to emotional wellbeing. I’ve come to realise that CD is not in fact, abnormal. It’s commonplace.

Dissatisfaction manifests differently for everyone but the core feeling is a common experience. I got to know my CD intimately from very early because I wasn’t like other members of my small family. I felt dissatisfied with much of what they saw as unquestionably normal, which caused a lot of self-doubt. Since I was the odd one out, everyone, including me, assumed that I must have something wrong with me to think life as I found it should be queried. I saw so much in the world that made little sense emotionally or didn’t seem just, but nobody around me seemed to feel strongly about it so I assumed I must have faulty ideas.

Apparently, according to multiple family sources, I thought too much. I was called overly-sensitive. I was irritatingly, inconveniently hard to please. I was sulky. I just didn’t fit in. That was the feedback I got for wanting more than what I saw as the mindless, suburban drudge that seemingly lay inevitably ahead.

Once I grew out of my family box and joined the wider world it was abundantly clear that I wasn’t alone after all. Time revealed to me that I did fit in and many people thought as much or more than I did about life, the universe and questioning the status quo. My younger cousins as they grew up, were very much like me. I see now we were part of a generational shift in values, awareness, and expectations about life. We were becoming more connected to a wider world and we felt empowered to think critically and make a difference to the state of things than many of our parents or grandparents had.

Unfortunately, by the time it dawned on me that I was not an outsider in the world, I’d already grown accustomed to seeing myself as someone who did life wrong. My brain ran a background program of CD with myself most of the time. ‘Not good enough’ was like a Velcro backdrop, on which hung a bunch of negative assumptions about myself. 

That sort of deep, old programming can take a bit of unpacking and dismantling as it seeps into all sorts of areas. It can often manifest as perfectionism.

In fact, CD and perfectionism have many of the same family traits – the good ones, like striving to excel and the bad ones, like being painfully hard on yourself. It’s a scary opponent to deal with when it bluffs you into fear or anxiety like an internal stand-over guy. However, you can make CD an ally in your life and benefit enormously from its energy, when you know how. In fact, it can be rocket fuel for achievement when you know how to handle it, without blowing yourself up.

The first thing to do, if you suffer with CD, is to put it into perspective by understanding that you are so normal to feel it. There is a rich and varied history of CD throughout the ages, and across cultures. In fact, CD is part of the human condition that’s gone by many names over the centuries.

Let’s break it down a little.

K.D. Lang called it ‘constant craving that’s always been.’ In its variously nuanced manifestations CD has been called ‘Ennui’ – a restless, uncomfortable kind of boredom; or it might be called ‘Existential Angst’ when CD is experienced as flat musing over life, death and a fear that the whole shebang might be meaningless.

Then, I’ve read about Weltschmerz – a German term, said to describe times when CD is focused on the state of the world and characterised by a sense of powerlessness and world-weariness – perhaps the way many of us feel about world politics and some leaders.

When it hangs around for a long time, flat and bereft of much energy, CD can sit dangerously close to the edge of depression and like depression; it may carry a good measure of anger at its core.

Call it by any name, here’s the thing I’ve learned:

Fighting CD is a waste of energy.

You must run with it. Turn it into a personal battery for insight into yourself and for fueling your growth – a battery that’s probably never going to run completely dry!

Add to your CD the power of your frustration, even anger, about it in ways that don’t hurt you or anybody else, and your growth can be turbo charged.

It’s possible and in fact, it’s vital, that we turn CD around from imprisoning misery into a force for motivation, direction and insight. Dissatisfaction can become a voice that unearths and empowers your passions and desires – instead of keeping you lost, empty, howling for the moon, but it takes a little understanding and self-awareness.

Before we look more deeply in coming posts at resolving dissatisfaction into a tool for your evolution, it’s important to define what success would look like to you. It’s difficult to get to a better place if we haven’t defined where that is.

Would it be called satisfaction?

Satisfaction can come across as a kind of lukewarm word, unlike passion, excitement, or excellence.

Do we tend to see satisfaction as an insipid state we don’t care for much, as a culture?

Could an unappealing cultural definition of satisfaction, on top of all our personal stuff, helps to keep us stuck in bouts of CD?

I suspect that increasingly unrealistic cultural values around wealth, looks, sexiness, fame and the other common extrinsic goals that apparently constitute success, have paved a multi-lane, highway straight to Dissatisfaction City. Wherever you’re travelling from, it’s hard to miss the turnoff to that all-pervasive town. No wonder its population is ever increasing as more global citizens are awestruck from afar by the riches their brothers and sisters in other towns take for granted.

In cultures largely motivated by striving and craving to be rich, famous, be seen, be beautiful, have the most, win and be a ‘success’, is it just too uncool to say that you’re satisfied with your life?

Is that one of the reasons so many of us suffer from bouts of CD – because satisfaction is culturally regarded as a lazy, complacent, cop-out?

Do You Need To Be Dissatisfied to be Motivated?

1. Do you need to be dissatisfied in life to be driven to succeed? 
2. Is satisfaction a lame, insipid word to you that means giving up, and just settling for mediocre when we should be going for bigger, faster, better, stronger, harder? 
3. In fact, does satisfaction even exist, or do we always want for more? 
4. And, are these key reasons so many of us suffer from bouts of Chronic Dissatisfaction (CD) – because satisfaction is equated with stopping half way up the mountain, lazy, complacent, a cop-out?

Let’s get truthful – if you achieved all your dreams today would you even want to declare to the world

“I am satisfied!”

Or would that seem like a declaration of giving up on getting something better, something more.

Choreographer Martha Graham suggested that for artists at least, satisfaction isn’t even ‘a thing’. She asserted that artists need to feel dissatisfied to be driven to create:

"There is no satisfaction. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction. A blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

Also, putting it rather strongly, playwright George Bernard Shaw famously wrote:

"As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death."

Wow, right? You can’t get a better reason for staying steadfastly dissatisfied than to see satisfaction as emotional death! Of course, Shaw’s talking about the emotional and creative side of life. He’s suggesting it’s not a rewarding artistic life if you tell the Muse “Piss off, I’ve done enough!” Art would cease, although life would go on, but it would be a pale life without any art.

I question however, how much we must suffer to be artistically blissful and in flow. I’m proof that I am a happier person, and a better artist, when I relinquish artistic ‘suffering’. Dissatisfaction lurks in the background during every artistic endeavour and in every editing process. However, it’s no longer the underpinning emotional state of my world. Now it’s more often a cause for consideration and a tool of reflection. I use it as a guide to where I am. I don’t let dissatisfaction hold too much power over my mood. When I do, I find that my productivity and flow suffer.

To enjoy expanding our experiences, to try new things and overcome anxieties, we must put perfectionism and dissatisfaction aside. It’s natural to feel dissatisfied with your efforts at times. It’s particularly tough at first, but we don’t improve unless we push on through, at least for a while. We must see how we progress and whether we find some flow or not. It takes time to see if you’re developing any ability and enjoyment in a field.

Ira Glass wrote that when we begin a creative pursuit we have a dream vision and high taste for it. We follow our creative bent, but because we’re a beginner our efforts generally aren’t amazing. That means it’s very easy to decide you’re no good and stop out of dissatisfaction, before you get going. This is the dark potential of dissatisfaction – it can paralyse you and steal your joy, creative vision, energy, and excitement.

Glass noted that a beginner’s skills usually cannot match their good taste for the thing they love. It is through developing a body of work that our abilities catch up to our vision and taste. From this perspective, periods of dissatisfaction are normal stages of personal and professional development. We must tolerate dissatisfaction rather than be smashed by it. Otherwise, we will give up too soon.

It seems that one problem with satisfaction lays in the fact that satisfaction has two distinct flavours of meaning. Like most things, what matters is what it means to you.

Definitions of satisfaction include 

‘A state of being pleased, well-pleased, proud, happy and content’. Great. However , there’s the shadow-side – satisfaction can also mean – ‘a state of being smug, pleased with oneself, complacent, settling for’.

Hmm…sounds undesirable…

Clearly in some contexts satisfaction is perceived as downright dull, too pleased with itself and even lazy. It’s associated with settling for mediocrity. It’s sometimes seen as being too lazy or scared to strive on.

Is the word ‘satisfaction’ just too insipid, lukewarm, and anti-passionate to be desirable to you?

I’m not so sure it’s shameful or mediocre to say ‘I’m satisfied and I’m proud to be satisfied’ but I know many success-driven individuals disagree vehemently with that. Dissatisfaction is frequently couched as bleakly romantic, full of desire, reaching and…suffering nobly for more, more, more. The idea of ‘no gain without pain’ essentially means that insatiable desire for more must be accompanied or even driven by unrelenting suffering.

Do not doubt it – CD can be a motivating force. Notably, dissatisfaction can mean we always have something to do. We are not meaningless because dissatisfaction delivers us from the fear of being purposeless – gives us an all-consuming, never-ending battle to fight – a reason to strive, fight on, a reason to be. CD can give you something to live for. So long as the misery and frustration of CD motivates you, rather than paralysing you in misery, it can be useful.

But would it not be more powerful, more motivating, and ultimately peaceful, to start from a base of freedom and acceptance of ourselves? To start from full ownership of our strengths and gifts then reach for more, motivated to work, to do better, to grow for the joy of our own experience and from the expression of our souls, rather than to fill an aching unfillable hole?

Can you note CD and harness it to other more powerful, pleasurable forces, to propel you forward in ways that aren’t all about romancing stress and suffering? 

Ultimately, the question is – Can dissatisfaction, passionate motivation and peace in your soul authentically coexist?

I know they can because I live with them every day. We can face CD head-on, listen to its messages, gain insight into ourselves and our choices and enrol its help and energy for growth, instead of becoming bitter in cycles of perfectionism, low self-esteem, and exhaustion. I’ve never seen anyone truly thrive in the long-term by only focussing on how unsatisfactory their world is, how faulty or no-good they think they are, or how little they have. Always, the growth, the joy, the passion come out of finding what you love, what matters most, and focussing on the pull of the vision, of your desires.

What if rather than satisfaction, our goal was passionate acceptance of ourselves and of life – a paradoxical state where passionate action, inspiration and peak experiences culminate in deep contentment and internal quiet?

Ultimately, contentment and peace won’t come from focussing on the pain of dissatisfaction, self-judgment, or anger at what you don’t have. Those emotions may be an impetus for forward movement – that’s a great and powerful use of feelings – but they are not life-sustaining emotions. Anger and dissatisfaction will never be at the culmination of our self-awareness because they generate resentment, and resentment is a sticking place. Finding deep pleasure, self-acceptance, connection, and flow are more powerful motivators than obsessive dissatisfaction can ever be.

So, motivating force, warning mechanism and/or vicious inner critical voice – dissatisfaction can rise up in many guises and for many reasons. How do you know when your satisfaction is serving you and when it’s nothing but paralysing self-doubt and fear?

Getting to know your own personal brand of dissatisfaction, being able to interpret its messages is a self-awareness skill. Sometimes CD has an important message for you, telling you you’re off track and out of alignment with your desires. At other times, when you’re being so hard on yourself you’re getting paralysed by fear, CD is talking out of place, telling you the same old tired, self-defeating stories that serve nothing. It takes self-awareness, mindfulness, and practice to know the difference.

It’s a life skill to get to know and accept CD as an uncomfortable companion, because even for the most Zen amongst us, it’s a part of ourselves we’ll face and need to deal with sometime. You don’t have to like your CD, but you may as well accept it exists and get on with being a human.

Knowing the reasons behind your CD is not always straight forward, it can be quite elusive and can shape-shift with different circumstances. If you can feel into what your CD might be trying to tell you, you have great information to help you turn it around to work for you, instead of against you.

Why Am I Chronically Dissatisfied?

Chronic Dissatisfaction (CD) is that feeling of yearning, wishing for something more but not even knowing what it is…CD can be an ever-present hum in the background of your life or it can show up sporadically. It can even evolve with you and show up in different guises throughout life. Through reflecting on CD when it visits you, you can let go of it more easily as a problem and accept it as part of the human condition. CD also often carries lessons within it and understood,  it can be more friend than foe.

There are some self-supportive reasons, and some self-defeating reasons why we find ourselves in the grip of chronic dissatisfaction. Let’s explore some of the common ‘whys’ of chronic dissatisfaction so you can hold them in mind, and try them on for fit, next time you find yourself in restless, undefined yearning. Maybe one of these reasons will help cast a light on how to turn your CD around into a force for creativity and acceptance rather than paralysis and frustration.

Living life by someone else’s values, beliefs or goals

This is a classic recipe for recurring dissatisfaction. Despite your achievements you feel dissatisfied. Other’s ideas of success are not necessarily the achievements you most value and desire in your heart. We may grow up unwittingly living according to our parents’ goals for us. That can lead to ongoing dissatisfaction over time, if our values and desires differ from theirs.

Angela, an old school friend, went into marketing for a decade rather than studying her passion, science, because her father was in sales and offered her a great opportunity to earn money within his company. Angela didn’t love the work but she was good at it and she liked the lifestyle the money could buy her. In her thirties when her Dad’s company went through a merger and he retired, Angela found herself deeply dissatisfied in her job. It was a job to her, not a vocation or a meaningful purpose. It had served her well financially, but emotionally, it had largely been in the service of pleasing her dad and feeling more loved by him by doing what he valued.

You can’t be fully happy living according to someone else’s values and desires if it means not applying your strengths and gifts to the things that light you up and enrich your life. When you live to fulfil an image of what a parent, partner, or someone else wants you to be, usually unconsciously, you ultimately serve nobody. You help no one by not expressing your authentic talents and loves freely. You’re not at your best if you’re not accessing and exercising your inherent strengths and passions. In this case, your dissatisfaction may be showing itself as a guide who is trying to tell you that you’re not in the right place, or you’re in a cage, not hearing your soul’s desires.

Happiness Feels Uncool

I know, dumb in retrospect. When I was an actor, a lost but know-it-all twenty-something, I got it into my head that it was chic, serious, cool, and romantic to struggle. Like I was a real artist if I had to half-starve and go without coffee for a week. I didn’t make that idea up. There is an enduring iconic starving artist motif that’s been around for centuries. It was appealing to me as a young actor, to embrace the motif of struggle. The artist, tortured by meaninglessness, against all odds, fiercely talented, not seeking reward, only expression of the art, rises victorious to thunderous applause. There’s a whole underdog, heroic rags-to-riches narrative to tap into as an actor. So, I hung around in an extended teenager-hood for a few years too long, where sadness, poverty and questioning the status quo were just the way to be. A brooding approach to everything was my choice then, a state of constant nagging dissatisfaction, rather than the unguarded joy that I thought was just too uncool?!

Do You Often Feel Like a Victim?

Blaming everyone for all that you think isn’t right with your world will keep you trapped in CD. When you blame somebody else for your life, you’ve created a belief system that disempowers you to change it. There is nothing you can do to improve your own world if you have no responsibility for it. It’s out of your hands. You’re an innocent victim, a bystander to your own life. Paralysing blame and anger are convenient ways to justify delaying doing what it takes to improve your situation.

Of course outside factors exert an influence on our experiences. Things happen to us that are not our choice and not our fault. That’s a given. However, more powerful than any outside influence is our perspective of our own life and self. More important than anything that happens to us is what we choose to do with our experiences. There is always some choice you can make that will improve things for yourself. It’s rarely the best choice to keep floundering in paralysis and blaming powers outside your control.

At times, there may be truth in the idea that others are impeding your progress, goals or desires. Even so, does focusing on what they’ve done and the trouble they’ve caused serve you? I blamed not having a father for my looking for love in all the wrong places as a teenager. I blamed my father for my struggles with creating a loving relationship with a man later in life. My father’s choices did have a huge detrimental impact on my life and development. However, they also provided me with hard-won insights and gifts. When I was able to release my image of myself as a flawed victim, I flourished. Ifound what I’d long been seeking – self-compassion and great, loving relationships. As Brene Brown wrote, I understand now that

We mature through damage, not just through the years. 

 

At some point in all of our lives, completely unfair or plain challenging stuff happens. Your strength of character, wisdom, courage, and indeed your ultimate successes are measured not by the unfair things that happen to you. Your character shows through in how you coped with your experiences. Being the hero of your own life involves welcoming periods of dissatisfaction as a part of our growth. Sometimes CD is our friend, drawing us forward to strive harder for what we desire, and other times it’s a menace that needs understanding and managing into abeyance.

Understanding Your Chronic Dissatisfaction

Chronic Dissatisfaction (CD) is that restless feeling of yearning, wishing for something more but not even knowing what it is…CD can be an ever-present hum in the background of your life or it can show up sporadically. Through reflecting on CD when it visits you, you can let go of it more easily as a problem and accept it as part of the human condition. CD also often carries lessons within it and, I’ve realised, it can be more friend than foe.

You can’t always identify the ‘why’ of CD, which is what makes it so challenging and so common, but you can harness the power of it, rather than live in fear of it. And like it or hate it, you might as well learn to live with episodes of amorphous dissatisfaction because for most of us, it’s unavoidable at some points in life.

Let’s define some common reasons why we find ourselves in the grip of chronic dissatisfaction to increase our understanding of how to deal with it:

You think you should be constantly happy

 If you set a belief that you should be happy all the time, you are regularly going to suffer dissatisfaction. Constant, unrelenting happiness is not realistic and not even appropriate.

Instead, set a goal for greater emotional freedom — meaning the freedom to let yourself feel according to the circumstances of the present moment. Aim for the freedom and mindfulness to be able to respond well, rather than being stuck in an ongoing background state of dissatisfaction, anxiety, depression or anger. Feelings — including happiness, sadness and dissatisfaction are meant to come and go according to what’s happening to us.

You apply unrealistic standards to yourself

 If you’ve set up ‘never-good-enough’ criteria for judging your performance, or set goals that aren’t based on personally realistic standards, you’ve set up a recipe for recurring CD.

We may have learned the belief somewhere that unrealistic standards, constant dissatisfaction and harshness are the only paths to achieving success. Fortunately, we can reprogram such beliefs of the past to be more encouraging, although it can take some time and understanding to change our mindset and corresponding behaviour.

Dissatisfaction is your only form of motivation

 The cost of being endlessly driven by dissatisfaction is being relentlessly smashed by its negative cascades of feeling and thoughts. which to me, outweighs the motivational benefits.

Would you not gain more overall from being pulled forward by love, desire and joy rather than pushing and grinding and forcing a ‘not enough’ attitude uphill everyday?

Focus on what you love and what you’re great at, and let that draw you forward.

You’ve Got Comparisonitis

 We typically compare ourselves to others in all sorts of ways, but it’s not something to allow to run unchecked. Comparison as a way of life is a path to ensuring you will always be dissatisfied with some aspect of yourself, your world or your abilities. It’s a mark of maturity to stop comparing ourselves and to realise that comparing people is a bit like comparing oranges and apples…or peaches…

Performer Dita von Teese is quoted as saying

"You might be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches."

You’re angry

Sometimes dissatisfaction is just a manifestation of being really angry, like you’re carrying raw and glowing embers of rage under your surface. Something might need forgiving somewhere, something feels unfair or outrageous and you’re mentally pacing your insides, looking for change.

It can be quite reasonable to feel that way sometimes. In fact, there’s plenty going on the world to be angry and dissatisfied about.

The best thing to do with anger is to recognise it and look for the positive ways to express it as useful action, a fire that burns to make a difference in things you care about, not to harm them. Anger is powerful life-force, bubbling up and saying fight for something better!

Reflect on the useful places to direct your anger. Never let your anger destroy. Let it drive, let it create, let it direct better outcomes and better ways in the world through finding better ways in you.

Dissatisfaction gets you feeling loved

This is a HUGE reason for CD and it’s usually completely unconscious. For some of us, the way to get the attention of carers as a child was to be DISSATISFIED.

The rest of the time, when we were happy, we were largely left to our own devices. Thus, we learned that the way to get attention was to be sad, cry out in dissatisfaction.

Is this striking a chord in you? Do you regularly find yourself wanting to grizzle, complain, fault find, especially around your intimate others? Could it be that finding something to be dissatisfied with is a way to get their full and complete attention?

If you’re answering “Yes, Yes, YES!” you’ve probably just uncovered a bit of self-knowledge. That gives you the power to change, from needy and dissatisfied to more content. Ask for what you need rather than living in dissatisfaction.

Owning your reality, naming your feelings and getting some insight into why they recur are powerful first steps to getting free of the painful or debilitating manifestations of CD. So, the goal is not to rid yourself of difficult feelings. The goal to be more self-aware, note the feelings, but choose your behaviour.

 

Love is The Cure for Dissatisfaction

I don’t mean love of another person, but love of your own life. 

But how do we get there from feeling lost and unhappy with the way things are?

Through studying yoga, I learned how normal I was to regularly feel dissatisfied in life, in that amorphous, recurring way that I’d come to call CD. In yoga I discovered sophisticated philosophies and rich texts going back centuries, which specifically addressed CD and its corollaries, if by other names. Yoga offered paths to deal with suffering in physical terms, emotional ways, and transcendent terms.

I learned of the concept of Dukkha, which in broadest terms means suffering of all kinds, from emotional dissatisfaction to physical pain, death and all life’s hardships. There is great benefit in recognising the ever-present nature of all kinds of suffering as normal and from that basis, cultivating wisdom and practices to cope with suffering.

Dukkha is neither a thing to be loved nor hated, but a reality to be acknowledged and mindfully accepted as a part of life. That’s a very liberating attitude to suffering, rather than seeing it as paralysing and terrifying. It’s taught that all living creatures must in some way experience and deal with suffering and dissatisfaction – it’s inescapable because we are mortal. We must face challenges, age, and eventually die, as matters of fact. 

Therefore, there is little point wasting our energy trying to run from the great ‘inevitables’ of life and death. Better that we get our heads around our reality with all its good and lousy parts. Better to live fully in the precious time we have, with our eyes wide open, than half-asleep.

When you accept suffering and dissatisfaction as realities of life you are better prepared to face inevitable challenges. That acknowledgement and acceptance of CD is the first part of transforming it into your ally. That perspective takes a great deal of the power out of CD when it starts to rise in you. The second part is enlisting your energies fully in a greater purpose and force within yourself. The force is love.

There is no greater neutraliser for the dissatisfactions of being alive than love. There’s no greater place to find meaning in the randomness of everything, than love. I’m not talking about love in a teddies and hearts, cheesy kind of way. I’m talking about love as a magnetic motivator pulling you forward.  It has such massive power you can throw the weight of your body and soul onto it. You trust it because you know it’s what really matters. Love so strong in all areas of your life that your soul knows it’s invincible. Love that ensures we are utterly kind and compassionate in the values behind all our striving. I’m talking about identifying 360 degrees of love that will pull you forward with powerful energy.

There are three areas of love to focus on in creating a feeling of wholeness and integration in your world. Once identified – these three great loves of your life form a powerful and ever-evolving compass. They will keep you on track and CD in its place. There is no more powerful way to manage CD than to find a sense of deep integration within yourself. Integration comes when your values and desires – your loves – are guiding you. Love transforms dissatisfaction from paralysis to the ultimate motivational rocket fuel. We fall in love with many people and things, but ultimately, there are three great loves of our lives:

• Self-compassion, meaning being self-aware, kind and non-violent to yourself in your words and action, including becoming mindful of self-defeating patterns of thoughts, so you can choose a different focus when they visit you;

• Mindful relationships – nurturing meaningful connections with other beings (animal, mineral, vegetable or spiritual); 

• And Flow, also called Peak Experiences, which means discovering and giving yourself to pursuits or work that you love, in which time dissolves and you merge with the object of your attention.

 

Recognising your three loves, knowing exactly what they are for you, and where you find them, is a key to greater happiness. It’s also the greatest antidote to CD. 

Why wouldn’t it be? 

1. We want to spend more time doing what we love; 
2. being with the beings we love; 
3. feeling good about ourselves. 

So why not prioritise those desires and let the three core loves guide our direction in life? 

Guide us in everything?

In short, these three are the compass to guide you in your internal world. Using them as your guide will organically be reflected in more soul-centred, self-supportive choices. 

The three great loves of our lives – self-compassion, mindful relationships, and flow – are universal – meaning they exist across all the variations of us as unique individuals. Although they are consistent, they take different forms and measures in each of us. Living from them is a map to joy, fulfillment, sense of purpose and grounding in the world.

 

Being motivated by the three loves means knowing yourself better, activating your deepest strengths and eliminating a lot of confusion and stress about your life’s path.  

Living from the three loves means knowing that you’re on track because you’re generally living a life of passionate engagement, and dissatisfaction becomes a sometime assistant, rather than a constant foe.

Debra Campbell