Behind The Curtain

Deviantart

I saw her in the darkest way

Lost of all her gay

It’s not a girl I’m talking about

It’s me who I doubt

Rethinking my every move and action

Only for it to be someone else’s satisfaction

How do people always stay so positive, as if nothing bad will ever happen

Do they really believe that wherever’s hell there’s always heaven?

I’m afraid that not always the case

This world’s not really a good place

I have big dreams and goals to chase

Maybe cause I want society’s stupid praise

Why always an option and not first

Am I really not someone’s must?

They say don’t let it affect u

But how can I not let it affect me if they say it as if it’s true

Self-doubt has eaten me alive

Behind the curtain is girl struggling hard to survive

Every single day is now very vile

Even in grief I smile

Thus, how can I let it all walk away

When every little part of my soul wants it to stay

So now I just walk in the darkest of ways

Trying in hopes to find my lost gay…

Ana Jain