A Touch of Woodland Time

ZOYA GREGORY

 In the vastness,

where time loosens

and the world opens its doors,

buried feelings rise

like spring water from dark earth.

Through the ridges and valleys of this life

we have come to one another,

and in that finding

there is a quiet joy

the body remembers

before the mind can speak.

I am no longer lost

in the maze of my own mind.

Beside you,

the old loneliness gives way,

and something in me awakes—

not innocent,

not perfect,

not unscarred,

but willing again

to be undone by light,

undone by love.

Cheek to cheek,

we move through meadows

and along the edges of streams.

I tuck sunlight

into your midnight dreams,

and for a little while

the day grows gentler around us.

Side by side,

we lift our faces

to the auroras,

their green fire wavering above us.

I kiss you slowly,

with intention,

as if each kiss

were a prayer laid

upon mortal skin.

We know

we are given only

a touch of woodland time—

brief as mist between the pines,

fading like warmth

left in the palm

after a hand has been held.

Flesh falters.

Blood cools.

One day

even your hand

will loosen from mine.

Perhaps that is why

I hold each caress so carefully,

as if love burns brightest

where it cannot remain.

The hour passes.

The light withdraws.

What we cherish most

is always passing through us.

And still—

or because of this—

I love you more fiercely,

more tenderly,

as though the heart,

knowing what the body cannot keep,

must answer

by opening all the way.

At twilight,

when the air turns blue

and the first stars appear,

we wander hand in hand

without needing to speak.

The path rises before us,

and still we go on,

drawn by that quiet knowing

that has followed us

through more than one lifetime.

If our hearts cannot speak,

what then shall we say?

What words could bear

this nearness,

this sorrow folded

inside every blessing,

this strange mercy

of being flesh and blood

and still daring

to love what will not remain?

Perhaps nothing.

Perhaps language fails

where the soul has already knelt.

Let us not ask

for foolish perfection.

Perhaps it is enough

that your hand finds mine

while there is still warmth in it.

Under silvered nights,

beneath Alhambra’s glow,

our hearts recover

their old rhythm,

as though they have known this music

long before this hour

and are only now remembering

what it asks of us.

Above us,

the stars continue

their patient shining.

Below them,

we stay close,

listening to each other breathe,

grateful for the small miracle

of being here together.

If there is a promise,

it lives here:

not that time will spare us,

not that the body will keep us,

but that love returns

to the breakable world

and asks again

to be trusted.

With every heartbeat,

it begins again.

It is still

your hand in mine—

brief,

mortal,

trembling,

and dearer for that.

Omniverse Traveler

The serpent and the shepherd

Articon

 The Ego's Final Trap 

Is Awakening

The Divine Life Begins When You Stop Being Somebody

Most people imagine the ego as something crude and obvious: the hunger for success, the need to be seen, the quiet violence of needing control. They believe the ego will finally lose its grip during their intense spiritual journey.

But the ego is not crude. It is very cunning. It waits in the shadows of your awakening, patiently watching you until it finds a new way to trap you again.

When worldly ambition begins to fall away, it does not die. It simply walks into a different room and changes its clothes.

• Now it no longer wants to be successful. It wants to be awakened.

• No longer wants to be admired. It wants to be enlightened.

• No longer wants to become somebody in the world. It wants to become somebody in eternity.

And this is the trap almost no one sees coming, 

because it arrives wearing the face of sincerity.

The Different Kind of Suffering

You probably know the ordinary kind of suffering: not being enough, not being loved enough, not being spiritually mature enough. That suffering at least makes sense to the mind and gives you something to chase.

But there is another kind of suffering, and it is the one that brings the sincerest seekers to their knees. It has no name in the self-help books.

It is the suffering of trying to become more than human, of treating the arising of sacredness during awakening not as a homecoming but as an achievement, and of trying to be enlightened beyond the human realm.

Many seekers carry a secret image of awakening:

1. a luminous ascent toward higher states,
2. a gradual arrival at an extraordinary version of themselves finally worthy of the life they came here to live.

• But what if that image is the very thing blocking the door?
• What if awakening is not an ascent at all, but the slow, humbling collapse of everything you have imagined yourself to be?

The Shepherd and the Serpent

Nietzsche once described a vision that disturbed him deeply. 

A young shepherd lay writhing on the ground, face contorted in agony, a large black serpent coming out from his mouth, refusing to let go.

It is violent. Most people look away quickly. But if you have sat with yourself honestly enough, you will recognize something in that shepherd that you recognize in yourself.

He is not a king, not a prophet, not a chosen one. He is ordinary. Almost nobody. And that is precisely the point.

Meaning # 1 for Serpent

According to Carl Jung, the serpent in the throat is the perfect metaphor for any dark content of consciousness, the old identity, the ego, the fear, that surfaces during awakening.

The serpent is everything inside you that you have suppressed and never accepted consciously by you.

• Every wound you buried. 
• Every grief you skipped over. 
• Every rage you spiritualized away. 
• Every dark impulse you rejected because it did not fit the image of the awakened person you were becoming.

Every part of yourself you quietly disowned because it felt too shameful, too human, too ordinary to belong to someone walking a sacred path.

You didn't become one with that part by making it conscious. You simply sent it underground within yourself. And there, it did not weaken. It gathered. It grew heavy and cold and patient in the dark.

The serpent crawling into the sleeping shepherd’s mouth is that material rising. Not from outside. From within. From the depths of the very person who believed they were doing the work.

And it rises at the throat because the throat is the place of identity. 

Of the story you tell the world about who you are.

The serpent is asking, by choking you: 

1. How much of that story is real?
2. How much of your spiritual identity is genuine transformation, and how much is simply a more beautiful version of the mask?

Jung is saying that awakening will eventually bring you face to face with every good or bad characteristic of yours that you tried to suppress within yourself because it was unacceptable to you and to the world.

Not to punish you. 

But because you cannot become whole by only keeping the parts of yourself your ego approves of.

Carl Jung says: 

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.

The shepherd is in agony because wholeness hurts before it heals.

What Ramana Maharshi Would Say

Ramana Maharshi would take this further.

When you turn awareness directly onto what has been deeply unconscious in you, something unexpected happens: it does not simply become known. It transforms into the light it was always made of.

Unconsciousness becomes conscious.

The shadow was never the opposite of your true nature. It was your true nature, just trapped as a dark energy. The serpent does not need to be defeated. It needs only to be seen by making darkness conscious.

Just by being aware.

And in that seeing, the darkness does not become illuminated.

It becomes illumination itself.

Meaning # 2 for Serpent

Whenever awakening begins within you by grace, the ego latches onto it. 

The moment you become enchanted by a grand vision of your own becoming, life will find a way to return you to your simplicity.

The ego dreams of becoming extraordinary. 

Life quietly shows you what was always already true.

The second meaning of serpent in the shepherd image is far more intimate: the energy of a calling that has crossed the line from gift into possession.

You have felt this before.

A vision arrives with such force it feels like it was sent directly to you. For a while, it moves through you like grace. But then something shifts.

You stop being the one through whom the vision moves.

You become the one it owns.

What began as inspiration hardens into identity.

Many people are not suffering from a lack of purpose. They are suffering because they have fused with it so completely that no space remains between the True self and the calling.

And without that space, there is no freedom. 

Only identification.

When the Gift Becomes the Cage

• A singer begins to believe she is her voice.
• A writer begins to believe he is his words.
• An entrepreneur begins to believe he is his business.
• A spiritual seeker begins to believe they are enlightened.

Ancient people understood something we have nearly forgotten.

Inspiration or awakening arises within you, making you the vessel.

Then your life purpose is to bring that awareness to the world.

The Romans called this presence a genius. 

The Greeks called it a daimon. 

Both pointed to the same truth: 

the fire moving through you does not belong to your mind. Your mind is not its source. But your body is its vessel.

The moment you claim ownership over it, you stop being the vessel and start being the prisoner. 

And the prison is an addiction of egoic nature, which is exactly why so few people ever try to leave.

The Spiritual Ego’s Perfect Disguise

Here is what nobody tells you when you step onto the spiritual path.

The ego does not disappear. It evolves. It becomes more sophisticated, more articulate, and far more difficult to see.

The ego’s costume is flawless.

The vocabulary is impeccable.

The sincerity is real.

But underneath all of it, the movement is identical to what it has always been: the restless hunger to arrive, to become complete, to finally be somebody.

The present becomes a waiting room. 

The future becomes the only place where life is supposed to begin.

Why Life Will Not Let You Keep the Identity

If you have been on this path long enough, you know a particular kind of pain. 

You reach a place of genuine depth. You begin to trust what you realized.

And then, without warning, life quietly dismantles it. 

Not through catastrophe, but through something precise. 

An encounter that reveals the unconsciousness you thought you had healed from.

A moment of ordinariness that strips away the story you had built around yourself. 

It feels like betrayal. Like being returned to the beginning after years of walking.

But it is not betrayal. 

Reality loves your freedom more than your comfort. 

It will always choose your liberation over your consolation.

What feels like collapse is almost always the most precise grace you have ever received. 

It's a “fierce grace” in the form of suffering.

The Intoxication of the Heights

The ancient myth of Ganymede describes a young man seized by an eagle and carried into the heavens. A divine elevation. But also a severing from the earth, from ordinariness, from the grounded reality of simply being human.

Many seekers know exactly what this feels like. 

The intoxication of early awakening. 

The subtle superiority of having seen through what others have not yet seen. It arrives so quietly: the moment insight stops being a homecoming and starts being a hierarchy.

But genuine depth moves in the opposite direction. 

The further you go, the less elevated you feel, not because you have shrunk, but because the self that needed elevation has begun to dissolve.

You stop trying to transcend life and discover, with a quiet sense of relief, that life was never asking you to escape it.

It was only inviting you to fully belong to it.

The Warning That Cuts Deepest

We are not fulfilled by escaping our humanity, but by embracing it completely.

Because beneath the language of awakening, many spiritual paths quietly become forms of escape.

• An escape from pain.
• From uncertainty.
• From vulnerability.
• From the reality of being human.

Awakening is not a graduation from the messiness of being human. 

It is a deeper surrender into it. 

A willingness to be here, in this life, in this body, without the armor of a spiritual identity keeping you one step removed from your own earthly experience.

The goal was never to become something greater than human. 

The real goal was to become fully human, for the first time, without flinching.

The Quiet That Was Always There

Perhaps the deepest thing the path eventually offers is not a discovery of who you are. 

It is the quiet, irreversible recognition of who you are not.

1. You are not your insights, 
2. not your high experiences, 
3. not your suffering, 
4. not your story, 
5. not even your awakening. 

All of these arose within something vast and still. All of them came. All of them went.

All of them were, in the end, visitors passing through a space that was never defined by any of them.

What remains when the visitors leave is not a superior self. Not an enlightened self.

Just life, recognizing itself.

Just presence, already here.

Just this moment, which never needed you to be anything other than exactly what you already are.

Aby Vohra

Until Love Is All That Remains

 

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When I lose myself in love,

the mind becomes a river,

winding through forests

like an unfinished argument,

touching ancient stones

that remember old storms,

embracing Mother Earth,

carrying leaves of ache

toward a sea it cannot name.

O infinite silence,

gather me into your loving arms,

where the heart becomes a shrine,

lit by an unquenchable flame

of longing I cannot command.

It speaks in prayers

carried by desire,

shaped and tempered

by lifetimes of salt and sorrow,

no longer asking to possess,

only to be emptied

until love is all that remains.

When I lose myself in love,

even the body bows—

the hands, the breath,

the trembling silence

between one heartbeat and the next.

And every word,

like an incense-carried prayer,

if pure enough,

if washed of pride,

if softened by grace,

longs to return home to God.

Omniverse Traveler

Don’t go to war with yourself!

Zachary Nelson

 On vulnerability, 

our greatest strength.

“The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness/hurt also keep out the joy” 

— Jim Rohn

You see as humans, we were made to be self-conscious especially after our primordial parents, Adam & Eve got tempted to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This Original Sin was what birthed vulnerability which till date has continued to influence our life experiences. 

The awareness of our own limitations and mortality put in us a deep sense of vulnerability. This same vulnerability leads to fear, caution, and sometimes, a reluctance to fully engage with the world.

But why are we scared of being vulnerable? 

Isn’t it, in fact, meant to be a source of strength?

The simple answer to this is that people judge and we’re afraid of being judged, rejected or hurt by others when we expose our true selves or share our innermost thoughts and feelings. 

To visualise vulnerability, imagine vulnerability as taking off a suit of armour. 

You need the armour to protect you, but when you take it off, you’re risking letting someone (or something) hurt you. 

When you’re vulnerable, you’re allowing yourself to be seen without that armour, showing your true feelings, thoughts, and emotions. 

It’s like opening up a door to your heart and letting others see inside, even if it feels scary or uncomfortable. 

• Being vulnerable means being honest and genuine, even when it’s hard, and trusting that others will treat you with kindness and understanding. That suit of armor could represent fear, insecurity, or even your past that’s made you want to lock your heart up in a steel box to protect yourself from being hurt. 
• It might even involve walls you’ve built to protect yourself from being vulnerable, like saying you’re okay when you’re not or avoiding opening up to others out of fear of judgement or rejection. 
• It could also mean some of the things you do that rob you of showing up as your genuine self, whether it’s pretending to be okay doing something that goes against your values or hiding your emotions.

This is what worries me. 

There shouldn’t really be any problem with something as natural as being your true self but we’ve gotten accustomed to a world that values the appearance of perfection (which I find very insane), such that being yourself is such a daunting task. 

We’ve been conditioned to believe that revealing our true selves, with all our flaws and imperfections, is a sign of weakness. But being vulnerable isn’t and should never be associated with weakness because it actually takes courage and strength to be vulnerable. You’re basically saying:

“Here I am, with all my imperfections, fears, insecurities, and uncertainties. I’m opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt, judged or rejected — The possibility of being completely wrong” 

That’s courage!

And the strength?

The strength comes into play because you’re required to confront your own fears and insecurities which isn’t something that’s easy to do. Confronting fears requires facing the unknown because fears usually come from perceived threats in unfamiliar areas or situations; which can be unsettling. 

Fear also comes when we aren’t in control or when we feel powerless especially in the face of a potential threat. So we can see how being vulnerable requires strength.

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength” 

— Criss Jami

Think back to that example about armour. 

Every time you avoid being vulnerable, you’re adding another piece of armour to your protection. Building walls to keep others out, avoiding expressing your true emotions. 

However, the problem is that the more armour you wear, the heavier it becomes. 

You start to feel weighed down, trapped. 

So, not letting yourself be vulnerable is like choosing to walk through life carrying a heavy armour on your shoulders (like life’s struggles isn’t already heavy enough). 

You’re not being true to yourself. 

You’re constantly going to war with your own thoughts and emotions. 

Instead of letting yourself be free and completely you, you hide behind your armour, scared to show the world who you really are.

So today I’m making a commitment to embrace vulnerability, in my writing and in my life.

I know it’s not going to be an easy task. I know it’s going to be uncomfortable and scary at times. It’s also going to be filled with uncertainty. 

But through this, I hope to build deeper connections and find personal growth.

Don’t go to war with yourself! 

Afterall, a full person has all the vulnerabilities of the world, and it’s through embracing them that we can find true strength and resilience.

Mohammed Elelu

At the Feet of the Infinite

Tushar Khandelwal

 

At the feet of the Infinite,

lay down the burden of becoming.

Let the restless mind loosen its knots,

let the heart unclench its hidden grief,

let the soul remember what it was

before name,

before wound,

before longing,

before time.

Breathe—

Sweet morning rose.

Let us release this play of life.

Live, and let go.

Scatter the rosary in the pouring rain.

Perhaps I win the lover

and mourn the friend.

The stars are within reach,

a breath of heaven in thy heart,

a raft of light on a storm-tossed sea.

The ocean is not outside thee;

it rises and falls in the chamber of thy chest.

Every sorrow, 

every love, 

every farewell

is a wave returning to the boundless sea.

Breathe—

Sit like Siddhartha under the bodhi tree,

where time kneels before eternity,

where desire becomes prayer,

where the self dissolves like mist

beneath the first gold of dawn.

At the feet of the Infinite,

nothing is lost.

The beloved, 

the raven hair silvered in the wind,

the weeping in the dark,

the vanished years,

the unfinished song—

all are gathered into one endless light.

Be still.

Breathe—

and the universe breathes with thee.

Omniverse Traveler

The ego is not the enemy

seedream, pond5

The ego has a bad rap — it has become the villain of self-help. We associate it to being entitled or arrogant. That’s why we want to get rid of this enemy.

However, the ego is not the issue; the illusion of self is.

According to psychologists, if we don’t have an ego, we would become mentally ill. 

We need it to mediate between the unconscious and the conscious. 

Your relationship with your ego can turn into either an enemy or an ally.

The ego causes most of your suffering, but it can also save you from further pain.

The Ego Is a Fraud

“The ego is the worst confidence trickster we could ever imagine.” 

— Dr. Yoav Dattilo

Our ego is a curious beast — most of us don’t realize its existence, yet we are under its mercy.

We usually associate the word ‘ego’ with being arrogant, proud, or selfish. 

However, our ego is a different thing — it magnifies either our best or worst side. 

That’s why the ego is the worst confidence trickster: we end buying the exaggerated version of ourselves.

The illusory self is a seductive fantasy — that’s why we succumb to our ego. 

We let it hold the reins of our lives without any resistance.

The ego hides in the last place you will ever look: within itself. Disguised as thoughts or feelings, your ego tricks you. When you believe you are your ego, you’ll do anything to keep that illusion alive.

When you desire to be perceived as the smartest boss, the beloved mom, the best negotiator, the kindest woman, the funniest guy, the most creative writer — fill in the blanks — you allow your ego to take over. You self-identify with a single aspect of yourself — preserving that perfect image becomes a life-or-death matter.

By wanting to keep our illusory-self happy, not only we place hope on an impossible goal but also harm ourselves and others. People are willing to lie, kill, cheat, hide, or steal to protect their ego boundaries. 

If someone criticizes that ‘perfect side,’ they take it personally — they feel their entire identity is at risk.

Why is this happening to me? Everyone wants to be with me. 

Why is this person attacking me? Nobody listens to me!

• We are self-absorbed — we make everything about “me-me-me!” 
• We believe that everything revolves around us. 
• We judge what happens through a self-centered filter.

The paradox of the unhealthy ego is that, though it seems like a confidence-booster, it creates more harm. By comparing ourselves to others, we create self-doubt. And feel disappointed pursuing endless ambitions, we end disappointed. 

By pretending things always to go our way, we become bitter and frustrated.

The unhealthy ego is a fraud — don’t believe your illusory-self is true.

We Don’t Need Another Ego

“The bigger a man’s head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes.”

 — Henry A. Courtney

Most people believe they know themselves, but less than 15% are genuinely self-aware. 

Being self-centered or having a distortion of who we are, turns us into a victim of the illusory-self.

The ego is you ‘I-ness’ — it captures your thoughts, beliefs, memories, and emotions regardless if they are good or bad. However, the problem is not the beast itself, but the role it plays.

Having no ego would be a disaster — we need something to mediate between our desires and our beliefs and values. Without it, we would become helpless or mentally ill.

The ego’s relentless pursuit of attention and power undermines the goal we want to achieve.

Dealing with an unhealthy ego is exhausting.

As we aspire to become richer, smarter, better, stronger, or more attractive than others, we are shadowed by a persistent sense of weariness and self-doubt. You don’t need another ego; you just need to be you.

Our ego likes security, certainty, and repetition. It makes us feel comfortable by reinforcing an idealized version of ourselves. If people threaten that illusion, we turn them into an enemy. 

That’s why ego-driven people engage in constant battles — they want to protect the fragile fantasy of who they are.

The funny part is that we fight to keep an image of ourselves that no one buys into, except us.

Your greatest enemy is your inner perception, not your ego.

An Ego Is Born

“The ego is a way of organizing oneself; it comes from the intellect as the mind starts to click in.” 

— Mark Epstein

You exist; therefore, I exist — that’s how the ego is born.

French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan developed the concept of the ‘Mirror Stage’ to describe the phenomenon when a child begins to distinguish the ‘self’ and others — encountering one’s image in the mirror makes us realize we are autonomous.

The ego is born out of fear and isolation. It creates our identity and separates us from those around us when we were a child.

The birth of ego, according to Chögyam Trungpa, is the process of identifying the self in term of opposing ourselves to others. Before we recognize our own existence, we begin to see others strongly. We want to conquer others, creating a snowballing effect that feeds passion, aggression, and ignorance.

• Our ego not only blinds us but also makes others blind. 
• We want to impose our possibilities over other people — whatever we see; we want others to see too. 
• We believe our vision of the world is the world.

The illusion of self goes beyond having an unrealistic vision of who we are. 

We want to stick to that image forever.

We want to hold to the illusion that our self is permanent, but life is fluid, not rigid. 

We are continually changing — our sense of existence is not permanent. 

We can’t carry our personality to the next life.

Many people believe that the ego is just a source of trouble. 

American Buddhist author Thanissaro Bhikkhu teaches that a healthy, functioning ego is a crucial tool on the path to awakening.

Western psychology and Buddhism agree that the ego is as a creation — we must get it out our head and learn to tame our mind.

The Illusion of Being Yourself

"You are who you are when nobody's watching."

― Stephen Fry

The illusion of self is like a mask — we wear an identity that’s not real.

When we feel under attack or panic, we create a world of duality — Chögyam Trungpa refers to it as ‘the world of ego.’ This duplicitous and unnecessary invention doesn’t allow us to see our true-self clearly.

Buddhists recommend egolessness as the antidote to deal with the illusion of self.

Most people associate egolessness with getting rid of the ego. 

However, that’s a misconception — the ego is essential to guide our decisions and behavior. 

“Spiritual Bypassing” is a term coined to describe those who use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues. We must confront our ego instead of running away from it.

You must get rid of 

the illusion of who you are, 

not of the ego.

Let go of the constructed ideas of who you are. 

Most of them were created when you were a kid. 

You turned something very good or bad about you into your identity — balancing your ego is accepting all your sides, rather than exaggerating one.

Egolessness is a healthy state of mind.

The ideas that we’ve constructed about our self are fixed. 

Most people overreact to criticism because they’ve built their ‘reputation’ on one idealized trait — if people dislike it, they feel their whole identity would collapse.

Most of us will do whatever to protect our illusion of self. 

When we experience something unpleasant that might hurt our idealized identity, we fight back.

Becoming more mindful is essential. 

Mindfulness helps us neither to cling to what’s pleasant nor to condemn what’s unpleasant. 

We don’t buy into the illusion of the ego — we are more than that. 

You can separate the stimulus from your emotional reaction — you choose how to react, not your ego. 

Turn the Ego from Enemy to Friend

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” 

― Rumi

Most elements that define our identity were inherited — we can’t do much about them. But, we can change how we deal with them — just like with our ego.

To stop being at war with reality, we must flex our ego.

When we let go of our idealized-self, we become free. 

Conversely, when the ego runs our lives, we suffer. 

The “me-me-me” approach is draining — forcing the world to revolve around us is mission impossible.

Psychologists recommend empowering the observing “I” — make room for self-reflection and watch yourself from a distance. Confront all aspects of who you are — especially the uncomfortable ones. Make room for yourself. Observe your thoughts rather than buying into them; let go of perfectionism.

Buddhists invite us to watch our mind — to observe our thoughts without judging. 

Mindfulness is the ability to be present, to be with what happens in the here and now. 

It’s a journey to abandon the illusion of self for the sake of well-being and happiness.

Egolessness doesn’t mean to get rid of the ego, but of the illusion self. We must undo habitual patterns that we’ve developed for years.

Egolessness means freedom — we liberate ourselves from the anxiety to defend the illusion of who we are.

The Antidote: Stop Seeing the Ego As Enemy

"You yourself, as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." 

— Buddha

Your self is fluid, not fixed.

Our natural tendency is to view, not just ourselves but also others as permanent things. 

Understanding that everything is interdependent and everything is impermanent is essential.

The illusion of the ego means thinking that our identity is a finished product rather than a work in progress.

Grab some pictures of yourself from different moments. 

You probably look different now, right? 

Look at how your personality or lifestyle has changed through those years. 

Are you still the same? Or have you changed? 

Fluidity means integrating both that we are different and the same.

Everything changes and nothing stands still. 

As Heraclitus said, 

“No person ever steps into the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and one is not the same person.”

That’s the paradox of understanding impermanence. 

We, the same people, are not the ones we were in the past — yet, we are still ourselves. 

The antidote to the illusion is facing your true-self.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. 

The world doesn’t revolve around you. 

Don’t be attached to the illusion of self. 

Embrace well-being and happiness.

You are fluid, not fixed. 

Don’t stick to an illusionary self — one aspect of you is not you. 

Avoid being defensive when someone hurts one side of who you are.

People are not your enemies. 

When you are at peace with who you are, you don’t feel the need to fight others.

Increase self-consciousness. 

Egolessness is insight gained from meditation — we dive deep into the emptiness or illusoriness of self and habitual patterns.

Love yourself, not your image. 

Accept your wholeness — both the good and bad. True self-love is appreciating that others feel self-love too.

Stop trying to be perfect. 

I’m not suggesting you lower your bar — realize you are not a finished person, but a work in progress.

Being vulnerable is being strong. 

You don’t need to sustain an idealized version of yourself to be accepted by others. Masks are fragile, but nothing can beat your authentic self.

The ego is not the enemy — the idealized image of yourself is. 

Defending an illusion is a draining and useless battle. 

Stop pretending and start accepting. 

Rather than just reflecting on your achievements, spend some time reflecting on who you are.

Get rid of the illusion of the perfect self.

Gustavo Razzetti

Not as You Imagined

Lane Dorsey

My life,

my thoughts

are clouds crossing

the sky of consciousness.

Who am I?

Am I my thoughts,

my emotions,

my name,

my hunger to be seen?

The world teaches me

to add to myself.

I become a storehouse of things:

a title here,

a skill there,

another possession,

more riches,

more praise.

Yet, who am I?

I labor, I gain, I lose;

still I ask—

is it enough?

am I enough?

O my soul,

never let me go,

whispers the small self,

afraid to disappear.

Was joy in yesterday?

Shall I chase tomorrow?

What will they say?

What mask do I prepare

to meet the world?

Then, from the silence,

a voice said:

what you seek

lies behind the noise.

But still I cry,

I am special,

I am meaning,

I am the world—

until the sky answers:

yes,

but not as you imagined.

Omniverse Traveler

A Man’s Ego

Dmytro Tokar

 

Mwita: “That’s because he’s a sorcerer like you! Onye”

Mwita: “How is it that I can tell and you can’t? How is it that…”

Onyesonwu: “Mwita! Finish your thoughts.”

Mwita: “I should be the sorcerer, You should be the healer. That’s how it’s always been between a man and a woman”

Onyesonwu: “Well, it’s not YOU!”

This heated exchange between Mwita and Onyesonwu in Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor reveals the tension that often exists between traditional gender expectations and individual identity. 

It also exposes how easily a man’s sense of authority can feel threatened when traditional norms are disrupted.

A Brief Backstory

Onyesonwu is a young woman with extraordinary powers who lives in a harsh, divided world where women are expected to fit into certain roles. But Onyesonwu’s strength and magical powers disrupt these norms and it challenges the people closest to her, especially Mwita, her love interest and a healer. Mwita, while compassionate and loyal, struggles with the idea that Onyesonwu’s magical gifts and role as a sorcerer are stronger and more prominent than his own. 

For him, it doesn’t feel “right” that she should possess such power while he takes a more supportive role, a reaction fueled not by logic but by his expectations of what men and women are “supposed” to be.

1. It’s no secret that men and ego often go hand in hand, but what exactly is ego? 
2. And maybe even more intriguing, what isn’t it? 
3. What fuels a man’s ego and what does it mean when we say it’s “fragile”?

What is Ego, Really?

Ego, put quite simply is basically self-image or inner belief. 

It is the way we see ourselves or what we think about who we are. 

From this, we can agree that it is not inherently negative; in fact, it’s an essential part of being human. So when we talk about “a man’s ego”, we’re basically talking about how he views himself, what he believes he’s capable of, and how he sees his role in the world. 

This sense of self and personal worth is often heavily influenced by societal expectations.

For men, ego often ties closely to cultural ideas about strength, authority, and leadership. 

Society conditions men to see themselves as providers, protectors, and decision-makers. 

This isn’t all bad, it’s been a survival mechanism for centuries. 

But it does create a kind of fragility. 

A man’s ego can feel easily shaken when his identity doesn’t match these expectations, or when someone challenges his sense of what it means to “be a man.”

Take Mwita as an example. 

He doesn’t dislike Onyesonwu’s powers, but her extraordinary powers make him question his own. 

And that’s where the discomfort comes from.

Why Do Men Feel This Pressure?

For many men, the roots of this pressure start early. 

As boys, they hear phrases like “man up,” “don’t cry,” or “be a man.” 

Words like these teach boys that vulnerability equals weakness and that a man’s worth is tied to his ability to handle things on his own.

These lessons stick. 

Over time, they build a rigid framework for what masculinity “should” look like. 

As men grow older, society reinforces these ideas. 

It praises assertiveness, strength, and emotional control while discouraging behaviors that seem too “soft” or vulnerable.

But what happens when reality doesn’t match these ideals? 

What happens when a man finds himself in a situation that challenges this framework? 

That’s when the ego feels threatened.

Mwita’s reaction to Onyesonwu reflects this. 

Her power disrupts his understanding of masculinity, and he struggles to reconcile his admiration for her with his discomfort over what it says about him.

The Trap of Double Standards

Adding to this complexity is the double standard men often face in today’s world. 

While society encourages men to feel vulnerable, empathetic, and emotional, the other side of this coin is a double standard for many people including women who want men with traditionally masculine attributes such as strength, assertiveness, and dominance. 

This disconnect creates a double standard that makes it even more challenging. 

Men are advised to “open up” and “be real,” but also expected to adhere to the strong, stoic imagery that has been the traditional view of masculinity.

There are several reasons for this double standard. 

One of them is the cultural conditioning which has already been discussed earlier, and another is that in romantic relationships, strength and dominance are often associated with attractiveness. 

These qualities appear desirable to many women because they conform to traditional ideas about security and leadership (not all women, but enough to influence societal norms). 

It’s not necessarily intentional or malicious, it’s just a byproduct of deeply rooted cultural norms.

For example, Mwita feels a deep sense of inadequacy because of Onyesonwu’s role as a sorcerer and the power that comes with it, challenges his belief that a man should naturally hold the more dominant position in their relationship. 

Onyesonwu fiercely defends her right to lead and break away from traditional female roles, but dismisses Mwita’s emotional struggles, labeling them as nothing more than his ego getting in the way. This creates a bit of a double standard. While Onyesonwu demands for understanding and acceptance as she deviates from societal norms, she struggles to extend the same empathy to Mwita as he tries to make sense of his own identity in a world that imposes limits on him, too.

The conflict: 

1. If men show vulnerability and emotional openness, they’ll be considered weak, indecisive, or not “manly”. 
2. If they embrace traditional qualities such as strength and dominance, they risk being accused of toxic masculinity or being emotionally unavailable.

This double standard is for lack of a better word, a trap for men: 

They must show enough vulnerability to come across as approachable and emotionally intelligent but not so much that they come across as weak. 

And be strong and assertive enough to help them maintain respect and desirability but not so much that they’re a toxic turn-off or controlling.

There’s no place for these emotions to live which heaps on the very problems that we’re trying to fix as a society such as men’s struggles with mental health or emotional disconnection.

Is it Justified?

Historically, the male ego has driven men to achieve, to lead, to fulfill societal roles. 

But as expectations evolve, maybe it’s time for the male ego to evolve too, into something healthier and more adaptable.

Is it fair to ask men to balance these conflicting ideals, or is the male ego an outdated reflection of traditional norms? 

Perhaps the real question isn’t whether it’s justified, but whether it can evolve into something healthier and more authentic for men today.

The concept of a “man’s ego,” with all its complexities and contradictions might be a valid product of societal norms, but it also raises the question of whether it’s time to redefine those norms.

Mohammed Elelu