If you fall in love with me, don’t

" This isn’t some cliche poem about my childhood suffering from a lack of a male role model because that would be a terrible lie.

And my dad raised a daughter with a guilt conscience, not a liar.

Anyways, I’m here to warn you about what you might be getting yourself into.

I smile by habit, not by choice.

I giggle out of empathy, and humor, or embarassment but never to purposely spite.

I get jealous when I see that someone can provide for other people in a way that I can’t, but that’s because I’m a people pleaser and us people pleasers, we just want to give.

And I go through phases just like the moon, but I always complete my lunar cycle and return to my bright self again.

And you should probably know that I’m emotional. Like, really emotional.

In fact, I may even think I have you fooled about how I’m feeling, but because my dad didn’t raised a liar I am forced to unintentionally wear my big sobbing heart on my sleeve.

Oh, and I’ll let something slide 1,016 times, but after that, I don’t give second chances.

I’m also an incredibly all-or-nothing person to a fault.

But when I am invested in something, I’m rather lose everything good I have before I ever consider declaring bankruptcy.

But remember: there’s two sides to every coin, so if you fall in love with me, don’t.

Because in ever lunar cycle, the moon disappears for a while, and it has a dark side too.

And I said I was a people pleaser, and us people pleasers... we pour.

In fact I will keep filling and filling your glass until it’s overflowing and my pitcher has gone empty because to see you hydrated is all I could ever want in this world unti I realize it’s left me drained.

When I’m drained, I’ll get frustrad; and sometimes, I’ll go into hiding.

I’ll either take a solo hike or get in my car and drive just to get my distance, peace, and alone time, but don’t you worry because I’ll eventually turn around and come home again.

Oh, and I’m obsessed with galaxies and stars, but it depresses me to know these things will either get swallowed by a selfishly hungry blackhole or explode and die in a supernova or whatever but that’s besides the point.

The point is: I’m a tangled mess of contradictory things.

But I’m not saying this to scare you, I’m saying this to warn and protect you and to properly love you, and to tell you not to worry about a thing.

Because remember I am all-or-nothing person, so if I fall in love, I am all in for you and that if you somehow fall in love with me, don’t.

Because I won’t be limited to loving you, but I’ll be head-over-heals for your smile, your giggle, the face you make when you’re embarrassed, and the look in your eyes when I know you’re jealous.

I’ll fall in love with the way you endlessly try to please people and how it drives you crazy that it’s never enough.

Or, how you selflessly pour your pitcher to hydrate someone despite the fact you’re partched.

I’ll fall in love with your phases: both dark and bright, and how sometimes you might go into hiding when you’re frustrated.

I’ll fall in love with how you pretend you’re not emotional despite the fact your feellings are trying so hard to escape your eyes.

And that special way you recharge yoursel when you feel drained.

I’ll eve love your heart after you’ve given your last second chance to someone for the 1,016th time because I know you’re a tangled mess of a contradictory things.

So please don’t just fall in love with me, because I’m not going to fall in love with 'just you'.

You’re too complex and complicated for it to be that simple, and so all I ask is that if you fall in love with me, you’ll fall in love with my infinite complexities, too."