The Wanting-Creature Inside Me

 I said to the wanting-creature inside me:

What is this river you want to cross?

There are no travelers on the river-road, and no road.

Do you see anyone moving about on that bank, or resting?

There is no river at all, and no boat, and no boatman.

There is no tow rope either, and no one to pull it.

There is no ground, no sky, no time, no bank, no ford!

And there is no body, and no mind!

Do you believe there is some place that will make the

soul less thirsty?

In that great absence you will find nothing.

Be strong then, and enter into your own body;

there you have a solid place for your feet.

Think about it carefully!

Don't go off somewhere else!

Kabir says this: just throw away all thoughts of

imaginary things,

and stand firm in that which you are.

KABIR

in, The Mystical Poems of Kabir

Signs Your Soul Is Trapped

We all know just how important the connection is between body and spirit. 

In fact, the disciplines of psychology and spirituality are much closer connected than you may think. A very important aspect of any spiritual person’s thoughts is the belief in the existence of the immortal soul. It’s an idea with a very long history and one that has brought much comfort to people who are struggling for one reason or another. 

But what does it feel like when your soul is trapped?

When talking about a trapped soul, we mean when a person feels older than they actually are. (And being wise beyond your years is very hip these days, really.) There is a maturity that drives your actions and words, as well as a feeling of a greater belonging with the world, a strong conviction that you do what you do precisely because you want to do it, not because you have to. Mature souls may face many more difficulties in life due to their depth of awareness and heightened sensitivity, but their challenges also bring a great reward. They are normally very creative and produce art that is years ahead of its time. Living with a trapped soul can be painful, but there are things you can do to free your soul a bit more.

Do you think you may be a mature soul trapped in a young body? 

Here are some signs to look out for.

“Free yourself. 

You are the only one that knows what will make you happy.”

 – Anonymous

Here Are 6 Signs Your Soul Is Trapped 

(and How to Free It)

1. You’re not dating anybody

When you feel like you’re older than your years, you don’t want to just have one-night stands and move on to the next one. You crave a mature, long-lasting relationship – maybe even marriage. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it might mean that you’re missing out on living your best life. Try to convince yourself that your time will come and that you don’t need to rush things. Remember that you have your whole life ahead of you. Maybe try online dating or going out to a club – you will feel like you’re living for the day and it might bring an exciting change to your life.

2. You’re on the outside looking in

Do you feel like you don’t fit in with the “popular” crowd at your college or in your workplace? That might be because you expect a maturity from them that you’re not receiving. It can be a lonely place, likely because you feel you can’t relate to any of the people in your circle. To overcome this, try to befriend people one by one and this may help you relax around them. Feel around for their personality and recognize the good things about it. That way, you’ll find it much easier to fit in.

3. You’re lonely

People whose souls are trapped often find themselves at home on a Friday night with nothing to do. That’s because, again, you feel out of place with the people around you. You prefer the peace and quiet of your own home – as well as its safety. There’s nothing wrong with peace and quiet, but try not to spend your best years trapped indoors. Make sure you go out and get a feel for the place you live and the people around you. If you venture out of your shell, you may find enjoyment of a new kind.

4. Social media isn’t for you

You only check your Facebook once in a while and don’t think about it most of the time. You might have Instagram too because your friend recommended it, but you don’t even know or care about Twitter in the least. That’s because you feel like you’re too adult for these things and you don’t want to waste your time on social media. That’s fine – however, consider the option that maybe your social contacts are suffering because of it. Perhaps you have insights and observations that the world needs (including the millions of people on social media.) Find the healthy balance between your life online and your real life and you’ll be much happier.

5. You’re tired a lot

Having an old soul can exhaust you, and positive thinking alone won’t cut it. Sometimes you physically feel like you’re much older than you should be, which means you get tired, you have muscle aches, and you like spending a lot of your time in bed. There’s nothing necessarily bad in that, but consider that it may also indicate that your soul is trapped and needs a release. Try changing your diet, or pick up a sport and see how it makes you feel. Nothing makes a body and soul feel younger than energy and movement.

6. You’re often misunderstood

Whether it’s by your family, your peers or your significant others, you always feel like no one understands you. It’s easy to think that you’re the only person in the world with an old soul, but it’s not always the case. If you can, open up to someone you trust. It can even be a therapist or a spiritual guru who will be able to guide you to embrace the younger aspects of your soul. Learn how to talk to other people about where your soul is right now and feel the space outside of your own mind. It won’t only help you with your social contacts, but it will also expand your worldview. This type of communication can show you the benefits of being wiser, as other people will no doubt be impressed by your knowledge and maturity.

 

Final thoughts

For people who have old souls trapped in young bodies, life can be quite hard and lonely. But don’t despair, you can still be positive and even youthful toward life. 

Find more ways to be involved with the world around you and with your peers. Even if you need to force yourself to integrate into a certain environment, you will often end up feeling enriched by the end. Remember, having an old soul is no flaw; it’s just the way you are. People who love you and understand you will accept you for you, not for who you pretend to be. But it will benefit you massively if you try to free your soul from the trap of weariness by embracing the fullness that this life has to offer.

Kristen & Chris Butler

in, Power of Positivity

Ode 2180

 

Anika Salsera

From these depths depart towards heaven;

may your soul be happy, journey joyfully.

You have escaped from the city full of fear and trembling;

happily become a resident of the Abode of Security4 .

If the body’s image has gone, await the image-maker; if the

body is utterly ruined, become all soul.

If your face has become saffron pale through death, become a

dweller among tulip beds and Judas trees.

If the doors of repose have been barred to you, come, depart

by way of the roof and the ladder.

If you are alone from Friends and companions, by the help of

God become a saheb-qeran5 [lord of happy circumstance].

If you have been secluded from water and bread, like bread

become the food of the souls, and so become

...

This is love: to fly to heaven, every moment to rend a hundred veils;

At first instance, to break away from breath — first step, to renounce feet;

To disregard this world, to see only that which you yourself have seen6 .

I said, “Heart, congratulations on entering the circle of lovers,

“On gazing beyond the range of the eye, on running into the alley of the breasts.”

Whence came this breath, O heart? Whence came this throbbing, O heart?

Bird, speak the tongue of birds: I can heed your cipher!

The heart said, “I was in the factory whilst the home of water and clay was abaking.

“I was flying from the workshop whilst the workshop was being created.

“When I could no more resist, they dragged me; how shall I

tell the manner of that dragging?”

...

Sweetly parading you go my soul of soul, go not without me;

life of your friends, enter not the garden without me.

Sky, revolve not without me; moon, shine not without me;

earth travel not without me, and time, go not without me.

With you this world is joyous, and with you that world is joyous;

in this world dwell not without me, and to that world depart not without me.

Vision, know not without me, and tongue, recite not without

me; glance behold not without me, and soul, go not without me.

The night through the moon’s light sees its face white; I am

light, you are my moon, go not to heaven without me.

The thorn is secure from the fire in the shelter of the roses

face: you are the rose, I your thorn; go not into the rose garden without me.

I run in the curve of your mallet when your eye is with me;

even so gaze upon me, drive not without me, go not without me.

When, joy, you are companion of the king, drink not without

me; when, watchman, you go to the kings roof, go not without me.

Alas for him who goes on this road without your sign; since

you, O signless one, are my sign, go not without me.

Alas for him who goes on the road without my knowledge;

you are the knowledge of the road for me; O road-knower, go not without me.

Others call you love, I call you the king of love; O you who are

higher than the imagination of this and that, go not without me.

RUMI

in, “Mystical Poems of Rumi 2” 

Befriend the Unknown...Surrender to the Mystery

 

Returning Back to Source and Oneness

Dr Joe, at a recent retreat, I had a profound experience during one of the Walking Meditations. Life showed me what it really was; unlimited beauty readily available to everyone and everything at all times – because we are it, and it is us.  

It completely shifted the way I saw reality. I felt like I didn’t need to do anything to get to my future – because it was already done. It already existed in my life trajectory.  

This was the best feeling I ever felt – and I never wanted to feel anything else in my life. It stayed with me for two days, and then slowly faded away. I tried in different ways to get it back – and I did feel it again during another Walking Meditation – but it quickly vanished again. 

My question is, can we feel this way all the time? Or even most of the time? How do we achieve this? Is it just practice and growth? I’d be so very grateful for your response. 

– Chiara

Seeing Beyond the Veil

The first point I want to make is that everyone goes through this at some point in their evolution – including me. The moment Chiara had in her Walking Meditation was what we call “seeing beyond the veil.”

When we connect to this frequency; this invisible field of energy that is closer to oneness and wholeness; we become aware of far more information than we perceive with our mere senses. Our consciousness – our awareness of the so-called reality around us – is forever changed.

When we see beyond the veil, the gap between the way things really are and the way we are is lessened.

In these moments, we’re more conscious – and we feel more connected to harmony and wholeness. That’s because, in that realm beyond space and time, everything is connected. And with that feeling of connection comes a sense of knowingness that eludes words. It’s just hard to describe – because in doing so, we risk diluting the power of the experience itself.

Somehow, we’re ... aligned in a certain way. We bond to a reality we weren’t aware of or connected to before. But once we’ve had an experience of it; once it’s in our awareness; we have this deeper knowing – and we can’t unknow it.

It’s an awakening. Somehow, something we’d had no awareness of previously is now part of us – and part of our destiny.

‘Remember This Feeling’

As I told the woman who asked the question, I want everybody to have this experience. I want everybody to see beyond the veil – because it’s not only enthralling; it’s literally life-changing.

When I have one of those transcendental moments, I say to myself,  

 

“You’ve got to remember this feeling. You have to. This is who you really are. This ... is what it’s really about.”

Suddenly, I’m in a place of pure love – and I am this feeling. And in that place of exuberant, pure love, the unknown is no longer something to fear. And I realize: there’s so much more to life than I was ever aware of.

And, just like Chiara – the woman who asked the question above – the first couple of times I had that experience, I was eager to get back to that place. Having had a taste of that intoxicating connection to the divine within me and all around me, I wanted to experience it every day.

This became a long journey for me – as it does for most people in this work who’ve had an encounter with the mystical. Ultimately, I had to accept a fundamental truth about working in the quantum – and that is that replication and predictability are impossible. Because, if we can predict the outcome, then we’re working in the known. And that’s counter to the very nature of having a mystical experience. The mystical is the unknown.

Longing and Separation

When I heard Chiara’s question, I started to chuckle – because I saw myself in her. I know this situation well. How many times have I tried to predict when the next mystical experience would happen? How many times have I gotten in my own way, thinking I should – or could – control my experience of the unknown?

How often have I spent my days in separation from that moment of connection, waiting for it to happen – so it would take away my lack of not having it? Or analyzing what I could possibly be doing wrong? Or wondering if there was something wrong with me? I’ve come up against these challenges for years.

I’m sharing my experience because I know many of you are facing the same challenges. You’ve had a moment, and you want to get back to that transcendent place. You’re not alone in this desire. We’ve all been there.

We marvel at the fact that we had the experience. We relish the memory of what it felt like to connect to the divine source within. We remember that we felt an extraordinary sense of wholeness – and that we promised ourselves we’d never forget it. And we regret that, despite those intentions, the feeling began to wane within days.

And so, we start trying.

When we sit down to meditate – or stand, or lie down, or walk – all we can think about is how good it felt when we had that experience. We imagine what it would be like to return to it. We want to feel that feeling again.

And without realizing it, our practice becomes about returning to the place we were before – instead of entering the unknown.

But what we’re actually doing, in those moments of longing – of trying to replicate the experience without the feeling – is reinforcing our separation from it. We’re grasping at something; chasing after it. And that continuously amplifies the feeling of lack – of not having it.

As I implored Chiara in our Dr Joe Live conversation, please don’t try to force, control, or predict the outcome of your next experience. Because if you’re looking for it, you’re separate from it. And you can’t attract anything in your life you feel separate from.

Surrendering Outcomes – and Timing

Without question, the tools and methods Chiara is working with – particularly Walking Meditations, where we practice with our eyes open – are great portals to mystical experiences. 

But it’s important to remember that to truly experience the mystical, we have to let go of any attachment to an outcome – including how or when it’s going to happen.

Because – as I mentioned  – predictability and repeatability are impossible in the quantum, it may seem like we sometimes arrive at a similar place, but we can’t arrive at a new outcome if we’re expecting it to happen the same way. 

If we’re trying to control the result, we’re actually limiting our creation.

That rule about predictability applies to timing as well as the experience itself.

Not only do we think we can control how we come into contact with the mystical or the unknown; we somehow think we can control when it happens.

That expectation is the exact thing that limits the likelihood of the moment occurring at all – because, if you can predict anything, that would mean it’s already known to you. 

In other words, it’s the opposite of the unknown.

Ironically, then, the only way to have the experience we seek is to stop seeking it altogether. 

And here, we have the delicate balance of intention and surrender.

So, looking for it, or unconsciously expecting it to happen in a certain way, at a certain time – during meditation, for example – is a huge limitation. It could happen when you lie down at the end of your practice. It could happen when you fall asleep on the couch at the end of a long day. It could happen while you’re staring into a fire, looking out a window, or standing at the sink washing dishes.

If you’re truly open; that mystical moment can find you at any time. 

In fact, our brain-imaging (fMRI) research shows that when we don’t expect anything to happen, that’s when the unexpected happens. It’s a paradox – but finding that balance is the work.

Learning to Be Satisfied With Your Effort

When we have these mystical, profoundly moving experiences, it’s very real to us; more real than what our senses alone can perceive. Such an encounter changes our understanding of the world, and it can never be the same for us.

It makes sense that in touching that greater frequency; that more unified, organized energy – which is love, by the way – we’d want to grow our awareness and experience of it in our waking lives.

It’s important to keep expanding your model and investing yourself in a deeper understanding of the principles at work. To keep learning. To practice living with the apparent tension between the mundane and the mystical.

It’s equally important to just – stay loose. Stay curious. Stay open and playful. And let it happen.

Make it be about your effort, not the result. Make it be about becoming so lost in the act, the act itself creates the experience ... about being so satisfied with your effort, you no longer care when or how the mystical encounter happens – because you already feel like the mystic.

And then, when you finish your meditations, take a moment and put your hands over your heart. Invite that experience back into your life at a time you would never expect it. And, as you reflect on your sincere effort, allow yourself to feel worthy to receive it – whenever it comes.

Dr Joe Dispenza

Golpe de Teatro

 

Daz Smith

Deu-se um golpe de teatro, a vida, 

afinal, tinha outras coisas para mostrar. 

Estava tudo quieto (não falávamos) 

e quanto mais a burocracia dos dias 

se eternizava nos próprios dias, 

mais socos desferíamos no amor, 

outrora fatal. Foste a correr dar 

um mergulho no rio da boa vontade, 

de boa vontade regressaste, cãozinho 

amestrado de circo a saltar de um 

banco para outro, e depois a grande 

sensação, por dentro de um aro 

de fogo. O golpe de teatro foi voltares 

ao mesmo, só que a tua vida 

passou a ser uma violência prática, 

como as funerárias junto aos hospitais.

Helder Moura Pereira

in, Golpe de Teatro

Self-Distancing

 What It Is and How You Can Use It to Make Better Decisions

It’s hard to set your emotions aside when you’re faced with a difficult decision. 

This is problematic, since our emotions often cause us to make the wrong decision in important areas of life, including in our relationships, our finances, and our health.

In general, most people find that setting these emotions aside can be rather difficult when it comes time to make a decision. However, by using a few simple self-distancing techniques, you can significantly reduce the impact of these emotions, in a way that will enable you to make better decisions.

In the following article, you will learn more about the concept of self-distancing, understand why it’s beneficial, and see what you can do in order to implement self-distancing techniques in situations where you need them.

 What is self-distancing

Self-distancing is the act of increasing the distance from your own egocentric perspective when assessing events and emotions that you experience. 

Based on this concept, there are two main perspectives that people use when assessing situations:

Self-distanced perspective. 

A self-distanced perspective is an external perspective that you can use when thinking about an event that you’ve experienced, where the self who is analyzing the event is considered to be distinct from the self who experienced it. For example, a self-distanced perspective is the perspective that you use when you ask yourself “why did you just do that?”.

Self-immersed perspective. 

A self-immersed perspective is an internal perspective that you can also use when thinking about an event that you’ve experienced, where the self who is analyzing the event is considered to be identical to the self who experienced it. For example, a self-immersed perspective is the perspective that you use when you ask yourself “why did I just do that?”.

 

Examples of self-distancing

“I didn’t want to make an emotional decision. I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James and what would make him happy.”

— Basketball player LeBron James describing his decision to leave his old team.

A good example of how people can use self-distancing appears in a study that examined people’s self-talk mechanism, which is a form of intrapersonal communication that people use when they think (i.e. their inner monologue).

The researchers’ starting point was that you can promote self-distance during times of introspection, by using the second-person pronoun (“you”) or by using your own name (e.g. “John”) when thinking about yourself, instead of using the first-person pronoun (“I”).

This concept is based on construal level theory, which suggests that creating psychological distance in one domain can promote psychological distance in other domains, so that increasing people’s psychological distance from a certain event by changing their linguistic self-distance could affect how close they feel to that event from an emotional perspective.

Based on this, the researchers asked the participants in their experiment to recall two personal experiences, one of which was anger-related and one of which was anxiety-related. 

There were two groups of participants:

• Participants in the first group were instructed to think about themselves in the first person. This means, for example, that participants in this group would ask themselves “why did I feel this way?”.
• Participants in the second group were instructed to think about themselves using second-person pronouns or using their own name. This means, for example, that participants in this group would ask themselves “why did you feel this way?” or “why did Jane feel this way?”.

The researchers then measured participants’ self-distance during their recollection of their past experiences. What they found was that the simple change in perception allowed participants to increase their emotional self-distance when considering these events.

Essentially, when people referred to themselves in the second-person or using their own name, they were able to improve their ability to detach emotionally from the situation. This improvement is important, because increasing emotional self-distance has been shown to have several important benefits, as we will see in the next section.

 

The benefits of self-distancing

Research has shown that using self-distancing techniques can be beneficial in several ways.

First, as we saw in the example above, self-distancing can help people cope with difficult events from their past. This is in line with other research on the topic, which shows that self-distancing can decrease the duration of negative emotions and help reduce aggressive thoughts and angry feelings. 

Furthermore, self-distancing can also help people deal with socially distressful situations, even when those people are naturally prone to social anxiety. 

Moreover, increased self-distance can improve people’s access to emotion regulation strategies, which in turn can lead to other benefits, such as a reduction in depressive symptoms.

Part of this is attributed to the fact self-distancing encourages people to engage in adaptive self-reflection, which allows them to handle difficult emotions in a positive manner. This is contrasted with using a self-immersed perspective, which often leads to maladaptive self-reflection, which involves, for example, the tendency to obsessively ruminate over past events.

Another advantage of using self-distancing is related to people’s wise reasoning, which is the ability to do things such as recognize the limits of your knowledge and remember the importance of being willing to compromise.

Specifically, people tend to display high levels of wise reasoning when they give advice to others, but not when they decide how to act themselves. However, when people use self-distancing techniques, by asking themselves what kind of advice they would give to a friend if they were in the same situation, people are able to reduce this asymmetry in their insights, and apply the same reasoning skills to their own dilemmas as they would to those of others. 

As one book on the topic states:

“The advice we give others, then, has two big advantages: It naturally prioritizes the most important factors in the decision, and it downplays short-term emotions. That’s why, in helping us to break a decision logjam, the single most effective question may be: What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”

— From “Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work“

Finally, increasing self-distance also has direct benefits when it comes to improving people’s decision-making ability, since self-distancing has been shown to reduce decisional biases under a variety of conditions, and to improve decision-making during times of information overload. 

This can be attributed to the fact that a self-centered, egocentric mindset makes people more likely to use a “hot” and emotional reasoning process, from a cognitive perspective, while a self-distanced, ego-decentered mindset makes people more likely to use a “cold” and rational reasoning process.

Overall, research shows that smart implementation of self-distancing techniques has numerous benefits. These include, among others, an improved ability to cope with negative emotions, an improved ability to cope with stressful situations, and an improved ability to make rational decisions.

 

How to create self-distance

There are various techniques that you can use in order to increase your psychological self-distance.

First, as we saw earlier, you can use self-distancing language, by referring to yourself in the second or third person in your internal monologue. 

For example, this means that when faced with a difficult decision, instead of asking yourself 

“why am I worried about this?” 

you should ask yourself

“why are you worried about this?”.

You can also increase your self-distance by trying to view the situation from an alternative viewpoint, that is different from your own. 

For example, if you got into a fight with someone, you could try to consider what the fight looked like not only from your own perspective, but also from the perspective of the other person, or from the perspective of a neutral external observer.

Furthermore, in some cases, when deciding what to do, you can also try to visualize the perspective of an exemplar, which is someone you admire, and then ask yourself what would they do in that situation.

In addition, you can ask yourself what advice you would give to someone else—especially a friend—if they were in your situation.

Finally, you can also create self-distance through other methods, such as expressive writing, which involves writing about your thoughts and feelings when you’re trying to analyze an event that you’ve experienced.

Overall, there are many techniques that you can use to increase your self-distance, in order to help yourself make more rational decisions. 

The two most notable techniques for this involve using self-distancing language in your inner monologue, or visualizing other people’s perspective when analyzing events that you’ve experienced.

 

Summary and Conclusions

 

1. Self-distancing involves increasing the psychological distance from your own self-centered perspective when assessing events that you experience.
2. Self-distancing allows you to detach yourself from emotional situations, which can help you cope with negative emotions, such as stress and anger.
3. Self-distancing can also help you to make more rational decisions, and encourage you to use effective reasoning skills when deciding how to act.
4. You can create self-distance by modifying the language that you use during times of introspection, and specifically by referring to yourself in the second or third person (e.g. “what should you do?” or “what should John do?”) instead of using the first-person pronoun (e.g. “what should I do?”).
5. You can also create self-distance by considering events from an external perspective that is different than your own, such as the perspective of a person that you were talking to, or the perspective of an external observer who watched an interaction that you were involved in.

Itamar Shatz

Pixabay 

Self-distancing 

is one of the most important 

meta-skills you can master in life.

It can help you:

1. become more empathetic
2. reduce conflict with people you care about
3. problem-solve thorny issues
4. enhance your long-term growth

Self-distancing is an umbrella term for any practice that helps you to mentally 'step outside of yourself' so that you're choosing your next action, instead of just reacting. It means you gain the perspective to look at a reflection and advise accordingly, rather than being submerged in a spiral of your own thoughts and emotions.

As Holocaust survivor and author of Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl points out,

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Different practices of self-distancing provide that space.

Here are a few different ways to master this approach:

Adopt someone else's viewpoint. 

"How would I see this situation if I were x? What might make them think like this?" This is particularly useful when you disagree with someone. If you can see the bigger picture from someone else's perspective and aren't just limited to your narrow worldview, you are far more likely to find the nuance and shades of gray that might actually be useful in the conversation. Perspective-taking is a game changer.

Pause before you respond. 

A literal breath or countdown or moment of reflection before a reaction. This is a muscle that meditation helps to build, but it can also be as simple as "I take 5 seconds to myself before responding in heated conversations." Arguments with my younger brother (about anything and to this day) continue to be a wonderful place to practice this skill.A pause increases your chances of choosing a thoughtful response, or at least lowers the intensity of any emotion. Even if it's only a few seconds, patience creates distance. Distance creates the power to choose.

Practice active listening. 

By concentrating on someone else to hear what's actually being said, not just the emotion behind it, you are turning down your own 'self' to understand someone else's perspective. You don't have to agree, but listening validates others' feelings and bridges communication gaps. By hearing what someone other than you is saying (not just waiting for your turn to speak), listening becomes the foundation of shared understanding.

Create regular moments of reflection. 

Regardless of the format, find spaces in your life to consider what is going well and what could be improved. Record a voice memo. Write it down. By having space to think and forcing yourself to put it down in a format where you can see it or hear it outside the walls of your mind, you turn your thoughts into something just in front of you, as opposed to an endless spiral. You are putting limits around this 'thing', which grants you the power to wrestle with it, and decide if it's true or if it still serves you. That is how you encourage continuous learning. That is how reflection becomes a pathway to growth.

Self-distancing isn't just about seeing things from a new angle; it's a practice of transformation. Transformation from a mind trapped by your thoughts to one that chooses intention and deliberation in line with what matters most to you and who you most wish to be in the world.

By adopting another's viewpoint, pausing before reacting, practicing active listening, and reflecting regularly, you arm yourself with tools for profound wisdom.

These strategies allow us to act with intention rather than react out of habit. 

They give us the power to shape our responses and, by extension, our relationships and our growth.

Danny Kenny

Master The Art Of Being Alone

Loneliness and depression 

can take a toll on an 

individual, spiritually, physically, 

mentally, and emotionally.

So we should take precautions to avoid such feelings.

Out of the mental and emotional tunnel that keeps you engaged in the vice of your choice.

The vice that keeps your days in a predictable loop of instant gratification and little to no success in your endeavors.

The tunnel that traps the progress you make toward your goals, and damages the relationships you hold dear.

We understand in these states of mind distancing yourself can feel most beneficial to you.

Not wanting to wake up in the morning, almost as if you are confused as to why you are still here.

Neglecting yourself with either your poor eating habits or decision-making.

The feeling of unworthiness to life's blessings, this sorrowful feeling of being left out.

​If not attended to these negative feelings can lay root in your mind and unfortunately become completely permanent.

Today, we are going to give you 7 healthy ways the Stoics mastered the art of being alone.

This way, you can grow closer to yourself, and overcome the darkness of this world's influences.

​

7 Stoic Ways:

1. Be Your Own Host - The purpose of this principle is to create mental resilience in the face of challenge and negative self-talk. Being alone can be daunting, and open your mind to endless thoughts. But running from them will not benefit you.

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Being alone allows you to become aware of your inner narrative, and gently guide it to more constructive and compassionate conversation.

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2. Realizing We Are Always Connected - Solitude often carries the weight of loneliness, yet it holds the power to connect us deeply to the world around us. The secret isn't in filling every empty moment with distractions, but in understanding that being alone offers a unique opportunity to connect with oneself and the universe.

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3. Sit With It - Whenever the silence becomes too loud, sit with it. Embracing solitude isn't only a necessity, it's an art. You must face the part of yourself that you continuously run from.

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• The fears.
• The Insecurities.
• The dreams you are too afraid to chase.

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Cultivating a friendship with solitude doesn't mean you're shutting out the world, it means exploring the world within.

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4. Chase Your Dreams - Being alone isn't just about solitude. It's about discovering a path where dreams are not just mere thoughts, but achievable destinations.

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Ever wonder why the silence of your own company can feel louder than the most loudest parties?

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It's because, in those quiet moments, the voice that guides you toward your truest desires becomes audible the moment you start to realize that following the crowd often leads us away from our own unique journey.

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5. Explore Nature - There's an old saying that goes, nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished. Sometimes the world around us can feel as though it's moving too fast leaving you craving solitude but not knowing how to embrace it.

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Being alone doesn't have to invoke loneliness or boredom, instead picture it as an invitation to explore nature and reconnect with yourself amidst the tranquility of nature. This journey of solitude isn't about escaping life, but more about discovering a deeper understanding.

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6. Create - Solitude is your greatest ally in the circumstance of the creative process. Using the silence to adhere to your creative ability. Though you may even believe you are not creative, chances are you haven't given yourself enough time in solitude to allow your mind to roam further into creative thoughts and ideas.

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The act of creation is transformative. It's a conversation with the deepest part of who you are. With each creation, you are building a bridge between your inner world, and the reality you inhabit.

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7. Engage In Self-Reflection And Journaling - The journey of solitude is not only about spending time in isolation but engaging in a reflective dialogue with yourself.

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Marcus Aurelius was not only a timeless emperor, but a man who turned his reflections into a timeless guide.

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What if your thoughts and reflections can also serve as your guide? This isn't about crafting perfect prose, but about pouring out your thoughts and learning from them.

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The simple act of journaling can unlock doors within you that you never realized existed.

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in,The Stoic Community 

Confissão do fugitivo

 

Jon Shireman

Só sou feliz partindo.

Não entre quatro paredes, à mercê das espadas,

mas entre aqui e ali, uma e outra casa,

ambas de preferência alheias.

Já não posso, nem quero, estar quieto.

Nem agora nem depois. Nem aqui nem ali.

Em todo caso aí, onde tu estás,

seja tu quem fores, põe o teu nome

nos meus lábios sedentos, insaciáveis.

Eu não sou eu nem posso ter casa.

Não digo já porque foi sempre assim,

nunca a tive, sempre fui estrangeiro

dentro e fora de mim. Sou o que sou:

o mendigo que dorme debaixo da ponte

que une as minhas duas margens e que cruzo

dia e noite sem poder deter-me.

Escrevo porque procuro, porque espero.

Mas já não sei o quê, perdeu-se na memória.

Espero que escrevendo

acabe por lembrar-me. Insisto na intempérie.

Sobrevivo entre parêntesis

no espaço vivo e no tempo morto

da espera de que, entre dois aquis.

Nunca em mas entre. sai de mim,

sejas quem fores, deixa-me em paz

ou acaba já comigo e com o mel

amargo de estar só a falar só.

Decidi que a minha pátria seja

não decidir, não estar em nenhum sítio

mas de passagem, pontes, naves, comboios,

onde eu seja só o passageiro

que sei que sou, sentindo

que me inquieta a paz,

que a quietude me assusta,

que a segurança não me interessa,

que só sou feliz quando me sei fugaz.

Juan Vicente Piqueras

Searching for Connection in a Disconnected Era

 

If it feels harder than ever to connect to others, you are not imagining things.

We are living through a “metacrisis”—a convergence of social, political, technological, and economic upheavals that have fundamentally altered the way we process the world around us as well as how we relate to one another.

 

LONELINESS & THE METACRISIS

Loneliness is at an all-time high, with Americans spending 99 more minutes alone each day than we did two decades ago.

Digital tools, once designed to connect us, now mediate nearly every aspect of our lives, replacing presence with convenience and spontaneity with predictability.

Dating, once a social experience shaped by mutual discovery, has become an exercise in efficiency, what sociologist Eva Illouz calls “romantic consumerism”—an endless optimization game that often reduces us to commodities, swiped and sorted by algorithms.

The metacrisis amplifies these effects, with the constant background noise of societal instability making it even harder to trust, to risk, to hope. The questions we ask ourselves have taken on a survivalist tilt, not just “Can I see a future with this person?” but also “Do I want to navigate the apocalypse with them?” 

 

WHAT IF WE’RE NOT AS ALONE AS WE FEEL?

While these experiences and feelings are real, there is a fallacy underlying many of our biggest fears around finding connection in a disconnected world.

Though it may feel like the apocalypse . . . 

• What if it’s not? 
• What if this period of global instability, climate crisis, and more is not the actual end of the world? 
• What if friendship and falling in love, despite it all, is still worth it? 
• What if connection is what helps us survive these rapidly shifting times?

Amid the chaos of the metacrisis, our longing for each other remains unwavering. 

It is precisely in this challenging terrain that the opportunity for deep, meaningful connection arises—not despite the difficulty, but because of it.

Consider the following:

• Human connection is not dependent on an internet connection. 
• Connection is not a transaction; it’s a vibrational field we can tap into on a daily basis in the most mundane of circumstances.
• Practicing small acts of connection with family, friends, colleagues, classmates, and perfect strangers is the key to building back the social muscles we need to navigate crises.
• These social muscles are the same ones that help us reconnect with long lost friends, cool the heat of conflict, maintain our curiosity about those who are different from us, and invite someone on a date (even the partner you already have).

This mindset is essential for discovering that we are not as alone as we feel; that we are not beholden to the social systems and software draining our life force.

 

SPONTANEOUS SOCIAL INTERACTIONS CREATE JOY.

Journalist Derek Thompson, in a recent interview with Nicholas Epley, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago, confirmed that we consistently underestimate the joy we experience from spontaneous social interactions. 

Talking to a stranger on the train, making eye contact with a person in a café, engaging in conversation at the bookstore—these small moments shift our perception of the world and our place within it.

The loneliness we feel is a product of a culture that excessively focuses on the self. 

But it’s also a consequence of the ways we’ve learned to guard ourselves from discomfort and vulnerability. 

Connection and community save us. 

Let’s practice it, not as a rare event but as an ongoing practice of engagement. 

Even for the most introverted among us—perhaps especially so—our well-being is dependent on the small, bold act of saying hello. 

Let’s Turn the Lens on You

 

Try the following simple exercise inspired by Nicholas Epley’s research: 

1. Start one conversation with someone you don’t usually speak to—a barista, a fellow commuter, a neighbor, or even a stranger in line.
2. Keep it simple. A warm greeting, a lighthearted comment, or a genuine question is all it takes. (Easy mode: “I like your sweater.” A level up: “What’s been the highlight of your day?”)
3. Observe the impact. How did you feel after the interaction? Did the other person respond positively? Did your mood shift? Consider writing down or recording a voice memo, just for yourself, about the experience.
4. If you like the exercise, keep going. Consider making it a daily or weekly practice. 

Esther Perel