At a certain point, you have to get over your own bullshit.
You have to get tired of your addiction to suffering with the same tired story you've been repeating for years.
You have to stop blaming your challenges on others, or your circumstance in life. Your challenges exist to help you grow, not to keep you down. You are only a victim to your own mental limitations.
Once you recognize your challenges, it's good to emotionally process the anger, sadness, and fear. But at a certain point, lingering in self-pity by pointing the finger externally only hurts yourself by neglecting self-responsibility.
People say "trust your feelings" and "go with the flow", but this isn't always good advice. Would you tell an alcoholic to "trust their feelings" when they want to beat their spouse and keep drinking? Of course not. You have to accept that you are addicted to lying to yourself, imagining you can see reality clearly, and trust your own thinking 100%. Depending on how quickly you want to turn your life around, you may need to subject yourself to "spiritual maturity bootcamp". Sometimes self-love is a swift kick in the ass. You may need to post reminders on your walls. You may need to set your alarm to 7am each day, with a schedule of priorities you must achieve. You may need to recruit the help of a friend or life coach. You may need to sell all your belongings and change your life entirely because you have too many distractions surrounding you.
Don't be afraid to set fire to your life. It's better to burn in a blaze of intensity and make a few "mistakes" than slowly simmer your life away in the pitiful embers of apathy and regret.
Humberto Braga