“I carry within me a sanctuary where nothing needs proving and everything is already whole. As I breathe into this stillness, I remember—I was never broken, only waiting to return to where I have always belonged.”
Coming Home to Where You Were Always Enough
Have you ever ‘felt’ like you're running a race with no finish line?
Chasing approval, striving for that elusive feeling of being "enough," or wrestling with emotions that continue to nag at you, that something is lacking or behind schedule, not achieving?
We’ve all been caught in the currents of comparison or the emptiness of self-criticism. We've yearned for a quiet space, a haven where we don’t need to perform, explain, or fix ourselves to earn a moment of peace.
Let’s gently journey together, not to a distant shore or obscure teaching, but inward, to a place that has always existed within us. It’s not a destination we need to build or discover, but a sanctuary we need to remember. I call this the “Shen Sanctuary”. It's the quiet, steady room within us where our true spirit essence resides, untouched by the noise of the world or the stories we’ve learned to tell ourselves. Here, beneath the layers of expectation and belief, we can remember who we are before we were taught that love was something to be earned. Let’s walk back, hand-in-hand with our precious Inner Child, and listen to the whispers of truth that restore and set us free.
Whispers from the Stillness:
Remembering Your Inner Sanctuary
Imagine a peaceful space inside you, bathed in soft light, completely free from judgment’s sharp edges, the endless measuring stick of comparison, and the harsh voice of self-criticism. This isn't a fantasy; it’s your birthright. This is the Shen Sanctuary, a living, breathing stillness with no entry prerequisites. It doesn't demand perfection, only presence. It's not something we create through effort, but something we access through remembrance. It isn't a retreat from life but rather the most authentic way to re-enter it, grounded and whole.
When we learn to dwell in this inner sanctuary, the frantic need to prove our worth begins to dissolve. We stop seeking validation from sources that cannot truly see or appreciate our intrinsic value. Instead, a quiet confidence arises; I am the sanctuary I have been seeking.
My wholeness is not conditional; it is inherent.
The ancient wisdom of the Tao Te Ching echoes this sentiment beautifully in Verse 16:
"Empty yourself of everything. Let the mind rest at peace... Returning to the source is stillness, which is nature's way."
This "source" is our Shen, our sacred spirit, our original, unblemished essence, our innate value and worth. It's the vital spark within us that cannot be genuinely broken, diminished, or buried, no matter how challenging life’s experiences may be. In the quietude of this sanctuary, our Shen gently reassures the Inner Child: "You were never broken, little one. You forgot the truth of who you are." Recognising this intrinsic worth, this Shen, is fundamental. It’s like realising you possess an inner compass that always points towards your true north, even when the weather is stormy.
The Stories We Carry:
Listening Compassionately to the Inner Child
Our Inner Child holds the memories and impressions of our earliest experiences.
Like a young artist trying to make sense of a vast and sometimes confusing world, our Inner Child painted pictures – stories – to understand why things happened. Sometimes, these stories concluded with phrases like, "I am not good enough," "I must be perfect to be loved," or "I am responsible for others' feelings." These childhood narratives, born of a need for safety and understanding in moments that felt overwhelming, inconsistent, or harsh, served a purpose then.
They were survival strategies.
Yet, these old stories can become confining scripts as we navigate adult life.
They trigger what we call red-light feelings: anxiety, frustration, shame, a sense of urgency or impending doom. These feelings flare up when our Inner Child perceives a threat, real or imagined, often based on echoes from the past rather than the truth of present reality.
The real challenge isn't usually life itself but the deeply ingrained belief that we must control everything or be flawless to navigate it safely.
This internal pressure often manifests as Criticising (ourselves or others), Comparing (our journey to others'), and being Judgmental (with everything).
This isn't a flaw in us; it's the Inner Child's outdated defence mechanism, rooted in fear and a desire to prevent past hurts from recurring. When we fall into CCJ, we inadvertently strengthen the walls around our hearts that become a prison of our making. CCJ cannot survive within the Shen sanctuary.
- But what happens when we pause?
- What if we meet it with gentle curiosity instead of reacting to the red-light feeling?
This is where we begin to reclaim our power, not as victims of our emotions, but as conscious creators of our responses.
"What is my Inner Child afraid of right now?"
“What old story is playing?"
This shift replaces judgment with compassion, comparison with curiosity about our unique path, and clarity, not criticism about our long-held beliefs.
The ancient wisdom of the I Ching, particularly in Hexagram 61 (Chung Fu / Inner Truth), teaches that harmony arises from this profound inner honesty. When we stop running from our stories and sit with them tenderly, as if holding a child's hand through a scary moment, we begin to understand their origins, just as we would if our child believed a monster was under their bed. We can ask, "Why do you believe love must be earned?" And in the asking, without blame or shame, understanding gently dawns. This isn't about digging endlessly into the past but about recognising the roots of present feelings with kindness and genuine interest.
Gentle Steps Homeward:
Cultivating Presence in the Sanctuary
Making the Shen Sanctuary a familiar haven isn't about achieving a permanent state of bliss but about choosing to return, again and again, mainly when the inner storms rage.
We can cultivate this connection through simple acts of presence.
Imagine this sanctuary: a quiet, light-filled temple within your heart, a peaceful garden, or a calm shore. Visualise welcoming your Inner Child there, precisely as they are, offering comfort without demanding change.
This sanctuary thrives on being, not doing.
We enter through the portal of the present moment: taking a few conscious breaths, pausing before reacting, speaking to ourselves with the kindness we'd offer a dear friend,
"I see you struggling. I hear your fear. I am here with you."
This embodies the principle of wu wei, often translated as "effortless effort." It doesn't mean passivity but acting in alignment with the natural flow, without force or resistance. We don't force peace; we create the conditions for it to arise naturally. We don't demand healing; we hold a compassionate space for it to unfold in its own time.
In this sanctuary, we honour the Inner Child's pace.
We don't push, shame, or rush their feelings or hesitations. We become the patient, loving presence they perhaps always needed. We let them know their emotions are valid signals, honest expressions, even if the interpretations are woven from outdated stories. And as they step forward, testing the edges of their known world, we allow them the sacred space to explore without urgency or fear.
We let them press gently against the boundaries of their comfort, not to contain them, but to reveal that those edges are not made of stone, but of mist. We hold imbalance and uncertainty with grace, remaining the steady centre even as they wobble. And perhaps, just perhaps, this is the very moment when we are invited to extend our limits too, not by doing more, but by softening more. No criticism. No comparison. No judgment. Just an expansive presence, spacious and still, where we embrace ourselves as limitless, boundless spirits.
Here in the Shen Sanctuary, we dissolve the inherited script of needing to be “better” or “perfect” and choose instead to be deeply present. This is where actual growth happens, beneath the noise of expectations and within the whisper of our truth, honesty and integrity. We become not the voice of urgency, but the embodiment of unconditional acceptance. Walking together effortlessly, we remember that safety is not built through control, but through love that neither flinches nor fades.
When they are safe and heard, they become willing to take the next step toward trust and integration, hand in hand with our adult wisdom. Grounding ourselves in the Shen Sanctuary means trusting that our fleeting thoughts, past perceived failures, or most profound fears do not define us. It means choosing this inner wellspring of peace as the foundation from which we rise, not as an escape hatch, but as the bedrock truth of our being. This requires aligning our actions with our deepest values of truth, honesty, and integrity and being accountable for our beliefs and their reasons.
You Were Never Broken, Only Becoming
Let this truth sink deep into our bones: “We are not broken”. Let's repeat it: “We are not broken”.
Our inherent worth, our Shen, was never contingent on performance, appearance, or external validation. Only our belief in our worth wavered, and we change our beliefs regularly on many issues. They can be shaped by external messages, experiences in which love felt conditional, or when safety felt scarce. But those experiences are chapters in our story, not the final word. They don't define the essence of who we are because they are all transitory.
Our Shen, that core of light and peace, has always remained fixed and intact. It doesn't need re-fixing; it simply needs remembering, acknowledging, and bringing into the light of our awareness. And so, we learn to hold our Inner Child close, not demanding they be different, stronger, or quieter, but offering them the gift of being truly seen and unconditionally accepted.
We reassure our little one that needing comfort isn't a weakness, carrying doubts isn't a failing, and feeling fear doesn't mean we are broken. We are all learning, evolving, and figuring out how to navigate life with authenticity and courage, often learning to live without the heavy armour we once thought necessary. We are not broken; we are, and always have been, in the process of becoming.
As we practice returning to this inner sanctuary, it transforms from a concept into a lived reality, a way of being. The intensity of red-light feelings begins to soften, not necessarily because the triggers disappear but because our relationship with them changes. We no longer fight them or identify with them completely. Instead, we meet them with curiosity, tracing them back to the underlying beliefs, speaking to those beliefs with compassion and clarity, and gently replacing blame with understanding. Slowly and steadily, the Inner Child learns to trust this inner safety. Similarly, we learn to trust ourselves.
Let us return, then, to where we began.
Right now, there is a place within us, untouched by fear and untroubled by judgment. This is our true home, the Shen Sanctuary. It doesn’t require an entry fee or proof of worthiness. It opens its arms and invites us to remember that we are the light we seek. In the spirit of wu wei, we don't force transformation. We hold our Inner Child’s hand and whisper,
"When you feel ready, we'll explore this together."
We trust the unfolding, knowing genuine change arises from alignment, not coercion.
Let's step forward from this moment, not with frantic urgency but with quiet trust. Let us live more often from our essential truth than our conditioned stories. Let us breathe deeply, walk gently upon the earth, and speak kindly to ourselves, our Inner Child, and thus, inevitably, to the world.
Within me resides a sanctuary of peace.
With each breath, I return to my inherent wholeness.
I am held, I am worthy, I am already enough.
Today, find just one quiet moment, even 60 seconds. Close your eyes and take three slow, deep breaths. Place a hand gently on your heart. Silently, or aloud, offer yourself a simple phrase of kindness: "I am here with you." That's it. This small, consistent act is a powerful way to begin tending the path back to your Shen Sanctuary. Remember, profound change often starts with the smallest, most consistent steps taken with gentle intention. Let us meet again in the sanctuary, that inner space where nothing needs to be earned and everything is already whole.
Finding Our Flow in a Reactive World
Have you ever been caught in an emotional storm, reacting in ways that seem automatic, almost beyond your control?
Perhaps a sharp word leads to defensiveness, or a perceived slight triggers a wave of insecurity that seems strangely familiar, maybe even childlike. We’ve all stood there metaphorically, wondering,
“Why do I keep reacting like this?”
It’s a common human experience to feel tossed about by the waves of our emotions, or someone is pulling our trigger. But what if there’s a more profound truth, a quiet power we’ve forgotten we possess? What if, drawing on the gentle currents of Taoism and the compassionate insights of Wu Wei Wisdom, we could learn to navigate these waters differently?
This isn't about suppressing our feelings or achieving some state of emotionless detachment. Instead, it's an invitation to remember a profound reality: we are the architects of our emotional landscape, not merely inhabitants subject to unpredictable weather. The Tao reminds us that life flows, and wisdom lies not in battling the current but in learning to move with it, in alignment. By turning inward, connecting with the quiet knowing of our spirit (our Shen), and understanding the origins of our reactions, we can start to dissolve the old patterns spun from past hurts and fears. This journey is from response to realignment, a path back to our innate sense of balance and flow. Let’s walk it together.
Listening to the Whispers of the Past:
Understanding Our Inner Child
Deep within each of us resides an Inner Child, the part of us that formed our understanding of the world during our most tender years, often between the ages of six and nine. This younger self navigated confusion, vulnerability, and a deep longing for safety by crafting stories about our worth, capabilities, and how to find a sense of belonging. These weren't malicious lies, but survival strategies developed with limited understanding. Decades later, many of us still operate from these old blueprints, wearing adult masks over these tender parts.
This Inner Child repeats narratives born from past experiences:
- “You have to be perfect to be loved,”
- “Don’t speak up, it’s not safe,” or
- “If they disapprove, you’ve failed.”
These aren't objective truths, but echoes still trying to make sense through childhood lenses. Our automatic reactions, those moments when we ‘feel’ overwhelmed or behave in ways we later regret, are often this Inner Child trying to protect us using outdated logic. It perceives a threat based on past data and pulls the emotional alarm cord.
The wisdom here isn't to silence or banish this Inner Child, but to listen with compassion. The I Ching, in Hexagram 61, speaks of Inner Truth, reminding us that sincerity opens the way. It beautifully states, “When the heart is sincere, the path is open. The winds of change meet no resistance.”
When we turn towards our Inner Child with genuine curiosity, asking
“What are you afraid of right now?” or
“What belief makes this situation feel so threatening?”,
we uncover the roots of our reactions.
This isn't about indulgence; it's about understanding. Only then can we gently start updating those old beliefs with the wisdom of our present self. It's an "Ah-Ah" moment when we realise that these intense reactions aren't necessarily me now, but a younger version trying its best to keep me safe based on old information and past occurrences.
The Siren Song of Control
(And the Freedom of Letting Go)
One of the most compelling stories our Inner Child tells is that safety lies in control.
“If I can manage everything perfectly, anticipate every outcome, make everyone happy, and avoid failure, then I won’t get hurt.”
This belief prompts us to micromanage our lives, relationships, and thoughts as we desperately try to build fortifications against potential pain, rejection, or disappointment.
We grip tightly, trying to steer the river of life according to our plans.
But the Tao flows differently. It whispers a counter-intuitive truth through passages like Verse 48 of the Tao Te Ching:
“In the pursuit of knowledge, something is added daily. In the practice of the Tao, something is dropped.”
This isn't about acquiring more techniques for control but about the courageous act of letting go. It’s an invitation into wu wei, not passivity, but effortless, aligned action. It’s trusting that we are inherently resourceful and capable of navigating life's currents without dictating their every turn. We begin to see that control is often a strategy born from fear. Alignment, however, springs from truth and trust in our inner resources and the flow of life itself.
Think of trying to hold a handful of sand tightly; the more you squeeze, the faster it slips through your fingers. However, the sand remains there if you keep your hand open and relaxed. True safety, which our Inner Child craves, isn't found in the illusion of controlling external circumstances. It's internally discovered that inherent worth and wisdom are within us through alignment with our true nature, our Shen.
When we release the need to grasp and manage every detail, we discover a more profound stability that arises from flowing with life rather than against it.
This is where we find our footing, not in rigid certainty, but in a flexible and trusting presence.
The Unshakable Truth:
Your Worth Isn't Up for Debate
Our Inner Child often carries a deep yearning for approval.
Criticism can feel crushing, disapproval like a threat to its existence, because acceptance might have felt synonymous with survival in its early world.
This part of us constantly scans the environment, asking,
“Am I liked?
Am I accepted?
Am I good enough?”
But as we grow in awareness, we encounter a liberating truth that Wu Wei Wisdom illuminates: our intrinsic worth, our Shen, is inherent and unchanging. It’s like the sun, whose radiance is constant whether clouds obscure it. Verse 27 of the Tao Te Ching offers guidance:
“The Sage does not cling to the world's judgments, for they are transient as passing clouds.”
A Sage walks through life guided by inner clarity and truth, not by the shifting opinions of others.
This understanding can initially feel terrifying to the Inner Child, Which Is still seeking safety in external validation. Our work isn't to force this part of us to stop caring suddenly, but to stand beside it with mature compassion and clarity.
We can gently affirm to ourselves and that younger part:
“Others’ opinions do not determine your worth. Approval doesn’t add to who you truly are, and disapproval doesn’t diminish it.”
This is a radical act of self-loyalty.
What others think or believe about us is ultimately their story, not the definition of our being.
Our Shen, our essence, defines our value, and it is constant, whole, and complete, irrespective of external judgments.
Recognising this intrinsic worth in ourselves and everyone we meet is foundational; it allows us to interact from a place of compassion rather than defensiveness or neediness.
From Reaction to Response:
Crafting Our Emotional Reality
Here lies perhaps the most empowering realisation Wu Wei Wisdom offers:
We are the creators of our emotions.
They aren’t random forces that hijack us;
they arise from the intricate interplay of our beliefs, perceptions, and choices.
This isn't about assigning blame for complicated feelings but reclaiming our creative power. Believing we are helpless victims of our emotions keeps us stuck.
But the moment we begin to inquire,
“What underlying belief is generating this feeling?” or
“What story am I telling myself right now?”,
we start turning the key to our freedom.
Think about those moments of confrontation where the automatic pilot might be to shut down, lash out, or become confusingly vague. This isn't manipulation; it's often the Inner Child’s protective mechanism kicking in, saying,
“I don’t feel safe expressing truth here.”
But there is another way.
The I Ching, in Hexagram 60, speaks of Limitation, not as a harsh restriction, but as a necessary structure and refinement. It suggests,
“Proper limitation brings order to chaos, and light to confusion.”
This indicates the importance of choosing a conscious response over an automatic reaction.
It means learning to set boundaries with compassion and speak our truth clearly and kindly, even when it feels vulnerable, without needing excessive justification or defensiveness.
In the spirit of wu wei, we don’t force this shift. We allow it. We create space for gentle inquiry.
We kindly ask our Inner Child,
“Why do you believe this strategy is necessary?
Is this belief still serving us now?”
We learn to shape our inner world not through forceful suppression but through understanding, not by controlling feelings but by tracing them back to their roots in our beliefs and gently offering the truth. Emotional mastery isn't about silence; it’s about understanding the messages our emotions carry, especially those challenging red-light feelings, and using that understanding to guide ourselves back to alignment with our Shen.
Walking the Path of Alignment,
One Breath at a Time
As we integrate these understandings, we naturally find our way back to the rhythm of life, back to wu wei not as a forced technique, but as our inherent state of being. Our most incredible power resides here: not in having all the answers or controlling all outcomes but in knowing the truth of who we are and choosing alignment, moment by moment.
As Verse 64 of the Tao Te Ching reminds us,
“What is firmly rooted cannot be pulled out.
What is held with honesty cannot slip away.”
We root ourselves in awareness, not reactivity.
We hold our Inner Child’s hand honestly, offering guidance and reassurance.
We walk forward with courage, trusting the path to unfold.
Those intense red-light feelings no longer need to be feared adversaries.
They become signals, messengers calling us back to investigate the beliefs that need gentle attention and updating. They call us home to ourselves.
So let us remember:
- We are not broken for having emotional patterns.
- We are not weak for feeling overwhelmed sometimes.
- We are profoundly wise for seeking the origins of these patterns and incredibly brave for guiding our Inner Child through them with compassion and truth.
- We’ve journeyed through the illusion of control, touched the power of emotional creation, and glimpsed the freedom of letting go of outdated narratives.
- The truth we seek isn’t “out there”; it’s a return to the quiet knowing within, the wisdom our Shen has held all along.
- We don’t need absolute control to be safe; we need alignment with truth to be free.
Let's aim not for an impossible standard of perfection but
for ongoing alignment.
Let's meet our Inner Child not with judgment, but with the gentle, steady hand of compassionate leadership, walking forward together, one small, courageous step at a time, honouring their readiness.
Take a quiet moment right now.
Breathe. Ask yourself gently:
“What emotion is present for me?”
“What story or belief might be running underneath it?”
And finally, with kindness:
“Is there a deeper truth, aligned with my inherent worth, that I can choose to embrace instead?”
Let's honour where we are, appreciate the journey that has shaped us, and gently guide ourselves toward the fullness of who we are becoming. With compassion. With honesty. With effortless effort, wu wei.
“I am the compassionate guide of my Inner Child, the conscious creator of my emotional experience, rooted in my unchanging worth and aligned with the flow of life.”
The Tao constantly flows, inviting us to its quiet, powerful rhythm. Let’s continue to walk together into that harmony, embracing the journey home to ourselves.
Until next time, keep walking, one breath, one belief, one loving choice at a time.
Returning to Our Worth Beyond Performance
Have you ever found yourself standing under the spotlight of expectation, feeling an invisible pressure to perform?
Does a quiet voice inside sometimes nag at you,
“Maybe if I just try harder, achieve more, be better… then I’ll finally be enough, finally feel loved?”
It’s a heavy burden to carry, this hidden ache, this longing for acceptance, hoping it will lead us back to a place of peace within ourselves.
If this resonates, please know you are walking a path many of us share.
It's a journey not toward louder applause but toward a quieter, more profound sense of inner harmony. Together, in this journal space, we can gently explore and begin to unlearn one of the most deeply ingrained myths of our modern lives:
the belief that our value, our right to feel love, is something we must earn through relentless striving and performance.
This isn't about assigning blame or dwelling in regret. Instead, consider it a sacred homecoming, a tender dismantling of old walls to rediscover the truth that has continuously resided within. We will explore why we feel this constant need to prove ourselves, understand where this belief originated, and discover how to live with more authenticity, not so that we might be loved, but from the deep knowing that we are already capable of creating love; it is our very essence.
We'll gently guide the hand of our Inner Child, who might still be clinging to old survival vows, showing them they are safe now. And through the wisdom of wu wei, we find a way to begin anew.
The Echoes of a Childhood Vow
For many of us, the seed of this performance was planted in the fertile ground of childhood, often between the ages of six and nine.
It wasn’t a conscious choice, but an interpretation etched onto our hearts:
“There must be something wrong with me.”
This wasn't born from a flaw but from a child's earnest attempt to make sense of a world where love sometimes seemed conditional, and meaningful relationships and connections didn't always match their innocent expectations or deep needs. Maybe praise arrived only with perfect grades, or affection was withdrawn during moments of sadness or anger. With its beautifully limited yet straightforward logic, The Inner Child began to piece together a narrative:
“Love has conditions, and performance is the price of admission.”
This belief became a shield and sword to navigate confusing or painful experiences.
"If I'm good enough," the ‘little one’ reasoned, "if I achieve, if I please others, then maybe I won't be rejected. Maybe then I'll be safe and receive the love I crave and deserve."
It was a brilliant strategy for a child trying to understand unpredictable currents of relational dynamics and reality. Yet, this very reasoning, attempting to receive what it believes is right, becomes a cage in adulthood, limiting our emotional expression and keeping us tethered to the belief that our worth is forever on trial.
Understanding this origin isn't about blaming the past; it's about recognising the “why” behind the Inner Child thinking and the beliefs we carry, understanding that perspective with immense compassion, and acknowledging the truth, honesty, and integrity of their attempt to cope and fix what’s missing.
The Endless Performance and Its Silent Toll
This childhood vow, this internal contract, rarely stays confined to the past.
It accompanies us, often silently influencing our career choices, friendships, and romantic relationships. Love and acceptance feel less like something we inherently possess and co-create and more like wages earned through constant effort.
We fall into the habit of CCJ:
Criticising ourselves harshly,
Comparing our journey to others’, and becoming
Judgmental of our and others’ perceived shortcomings.
Perfectionism becomes the exhausting standard by which we judge everything, the only perceived path to achieving what we believe is our right. The Inner Child within us, still operating on that old programming, dreads criticism, viewing any judgment not as a different perspective, but as confirmation of their deepest fear: "I am not enough."
The I Ching, in Hexagram 61, speaks profoundly to this:
"Inner truth is the root of harmony."
When we live disconnected from our authentic selves, performing for validation rather than expressing our truth, we lose that inner harmony. This loss isn't just a philosophical concept; it impacts our Shen, our inherent spiritual vitality and radiance. We begin to suffer, not necessarily from outright failure, but from a draining forgetfulness of who we truly are, losing trust in our unique gifts and abilities.
This fuels the 'Carousel of Despair': perform, achieve, and grasp fleeting approval, yet an underlying emptiness still exists. The external validation, the applause, never quite reaches the core ache. The Inner Child remains unheard, unconvinced, and disconnected, forever seeking the next external 'fix' that aligns with their outdated view of reality.
We become victims of our feelings of inadequacy, distress and emptiness, forgetting we create our inner emotional state.
Whispering Truth to the Inner Child:
The Power of Presence
So, what does this precious Inner Child truly need?
Not more pressure to perform, nor more sophisticated ways to seek external validation.
They need us, our present, compassionate, adult selves, to connect like a wise, loving guide that resides within.
Not like the parents they have already experienced.
They need us to metaphorically take their hand and whisper,
“You were never wrong; you were just trying your best to understand.”
“You weren't bad; you were confused by your own emotions. And now, honestly, you are safe with me.”
This is the voice of our own inner Sage, the essence of our Shen, that part of us, like a diamond, remains untouched, radiant, and authentic beneath any accumulated dust of conditioning or fear. This inner presence represents the unconditionally loving parent our Inner Child has always longed for, one who speaks with truth, acknowledges feelings without being swept away by them, and holds space with unwavering compassion, free from the constraints of conditional judgment.
This is where the wisdom of wu wei becomes our gentle guide.
The Tao Te Ching reminds us in Verse 16,
"Returning to the source is serenity."
This source isn't found in frantic doing but in quiet being.
It's not about earning worth, but about resting in the worth that is.
Practising wu wei here means consciously releasing the relentless push to prove ourselves.
Instead, we learn to flow in alignment with the truth of who we already are.
Think of it not as giving up but as letting go of a heavy burden; no need to fix something that was never truly broken. It’s about guiding our Inner Child toward a revolutionary understanding:
worth isn't waiting on the other side of the following achievement; it has been here, within us, all along. We become the calm captain of our inner ship, acknowledging the Inner Child's storms of fear of the unknown but choosing to steer with the compass of our inherent Shen, creating the togetherness of safety and self-love from within.
Living Authentically:
From Applause to Alignment
What unfolds when we consciously shift from performance to presence, from impressing to expressing?
- It’s as if the world subtly changes in colour.
- Actions start to feel sacred rather than strategic.
- We create, speak, connect, and experience love, not primarily for external recognition but because the expression arises naturally from our acceptance of ourselves.
- Our sense of value remains stable, unaffected by the opinions or moods of others.
- We become rooted in our Shen, our spiritual truth, a core of beingness that no one can grant us and no one can take away.
This intrinsic worth is our anchor.
Of course, the Inner Child, accustomed to the old pattern, may resist this shift.
"But what if I stop performing and fail?" they might whisper.
"What if they reject the real me? The familiar struggle feels safer than the unknown."
Our response isn't force or dismissal but deep compassion rooted in our commitment to truth, honesty, and integrity with ourselves.
"Then we will face that fear together," we reply gently.
"You are not alone in this. I am here. And I trust our shared Shen more than external disapproval from others."
This quiet knowing, this steadfast inner connection, becomes our strength as the unknown slowly transforms into our true, authentic home.
We learn to see CCJ, whether from others or ourselves, not as a final verdict, but perhaps as a reflection of their misunderstandings or our lingering, performance-based beliefs, as information, not condemnation.
As the Tao Te Ching suggests in Verse 71,
"Knowing ignorance is strength.
Ignoring knowledge is sickness."
Recognising the 'ignorance' of the performance lie is the beginning of strength. We reclaim our power by choosing not to internalise judgment, instead turning inward to the sanctuary of our Shen, choosing to create love over seeking applause.
This journey is a gentle revolution, a return to the natural flow of things.
We don't need a thunderous awakening; it begins with small, consistent choices. One breath where we choose self-trust over seeking approval. One moment where we notice the urge to perform and observe it with a smile of kindness. As we practice returning to our innate worth, the Tao —the natural way of things —meets us not with demands but in stillness. Wu wei becomes less of a concept and more like the gentle wind supporting our movement. We flow, not because we are pushed, but because we are aligned.
Remember, healing and unlearning are not performance arts, either.
It's a tender process, taken one step at a time, honouring the pace of our Inner Child.
As we release the old vows, we don't discard our past; we integrate its wisdom.
We can whisper to that younger part of ourselves,
"Thank you for your incredible perseverance and tenacity in keeping us safe.
It's time for us to thrive together, not just strive."
Each day presents an opportunity to reaffirm the truth.
Affirm:
“My worth shines from within; I release the need to perform and embrace the peace of my authentic self.”
A Gentle Invitation to Listen Within:
If you feel ready to explore this further, consider journaling.
Gently ask your Inner Child,
- "What promise or vow did you make back then that perhaps we still carry today?"
- "What underlying belief keeps you feeling like you need to perform to be safe before you can create love?"
- "If you truly accept, deep down, that you were already enough, already loved, what might you choose differently?"
Listen patiently and lovingly to whatever arises.
Let their answers, whether in clear words, faint images, or subtle ripples of awareness, be met with compassion.
Allow your next breath to be the first note in the unfolding song of your authentic becoming.
Together, we transform, one breath, one moment of awareness, one courageous, gentle step at a time. Let us rise, not for others’, but for the sacred truth of who we are. Let us live, not in pretence or performance, but in the quiet power of our integrity. Let us authentically live in our flow.
And here, in this tender closing reflection, we recognise a truth so often overlooked: our Inner Child has never been comfortable in untruth. Dishonesty has always weighed heavily on them, not because they lacked the will to change, but because they never believed they could do it alone.
The burden seemed too vast, the path too uncertain.
But now, we affirm the truth they always hoped to hear:
- You are not alone.
- You have never been alone. And you will never be alone again.
- We are together now, united in spirit, bound by truth, and committed to walking this path hand in hand.
- We meet this challenge as one. In honesty, clarity, and courage, we will rise.
- This is our birthright, long overlooked but never lost. And together, we will reclaim it.
- We will walk straight and strong when we live honestly, follow our truth, and honour our integrity.
These are not lofty ideals but our compass home.
They are not external standards but our internal alignment with Shen, the radiant truth of our spirit.
In the stillness of your next moment, pause.
Ask your Inner Child what truth they long to live.
Listen. Then answer, not just with words, but with the quiet bravery of your next choice.
Reclaim your birthright. You were made to walk tall in honesty and grace.
And we will get there, together.
The Words We Choose:
Are the bricks that build our house!
Have you ever caught yourself saying,
“I can’t,”
“I’m not good enough,” or
“It always goes wrong for me”?
We all have.
These phrases may seem like passing thoughts, but they are the bricks of belief, building the structure we live within daily.
The Tao teaches us that our inner landscape is shaped not just by what happens, but by the stories we tell ourselves about it. Words are not empty. They are energy, intention, and creation. They echo into our thoughts, ripple through our emotions, and sculpt our reality.
When our Inner Child feels scared or uncertain, it often uses limiting language as protection.
“What’s the point?” becomes a shield.
But wu wei gently invites us to listen more consciously, to speak with kindness and clarity. It reminds us that we are not powerless architects; we can choose new words and, with them, build a softer, stronger home within ourselves.
Just as we wouldn’t build a house with broken bricks, let’s not speak with broken beliefs.
Let us replace:
- “I can’t” with “I choose,”
- “It’s too hard” with “I’m learning,”
- “I’m not enough” with “I am growing.”
Every word is a seed.
What you plant today will bloom tomorrow.
So, let’s speak in alignment with our Shen spirit’s strength and our journey’s beauty.
Affirm:
“With each word I choose, I honour my truth and shape a home that reflects harmony, strength, and love.”
Speak gently today.
Your words are sacred ground.
David James Lees
