Homens À Beira-Mar

 

Ersen Cira

Nada trazem consigo. As imagens

Que encontram, vão-se delas despedindo.

Nada trazem consigo, pois partiram

Sós e nus, desde sempre, e os seus caminhos

Levam só ao espaço como o vento.

Embalados no próprio movimento,

Como se andar calasse algum tormento,

O seu olhar fixou-se para sempre

Na aparição sem fim dos horizontes.

Como o animal que sente ao longe as fontes,

Tudo neles se cala pra escutar

O coração crescente da distância,

E longínqua lhes é a própria ânsia.

É-lhes longínquo o sol quando os consome,

É-lhes longínqua a noite e a sua fome,

É-lhes longínquo o próprio corpo e o traço

Que deixam pela areia, passo a passo.

Porque o calor do sol não os consome,

Porque o frio da noite não os gela,

E nem sequer lhes dói a própria fome,

E é-lhes estranho até o próprio rasto.

Nenhum jardim, nenhum olhar os prende.

Intactos nas paisagens onde chegam

Só encontram o longe que se afasta,

O apelo do silêncio que os arrasta,

As aves estrangeiras que os trespassam,

E o seu corpo é só um nó de frio

Em busca de mais mar e mais vazio.

Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen 

Biophotons: The Light in Our Cells

There are trillions of cells that make up your body. 

For the moment I want you to think about just one. 

That one cell is incredibly busy. In just the last second there were over 100,000 chemical reactions that occurred in this cell. 

Now, step back and consider your body as a whole. 

The sheer volume of activity happening inside you at any given moment is almost incomprehensible. With so much information being processed all at once, it’s fair to ask how it all works.

The consensus in the scientific community used to focus on a mechanistic approach to explain the inner workings of your body. In this model, molecular reactions were assumed to follow a very linear formula. Essentially event A produces event B which produces event C, etc. In this theory the human body isn’t a fluid, ever-changing system but a static one, governed by a set of rigid rules where the laws of attraction and repulsion of molecular charges run the show.

In the 1970s Fritz Popp and a team of researchers at the University of Marburg started doing work with biophotons. 

Biophotons are considered ultra-weak photo emissions (UPEs). 

Popp’s work has transformed our understanding of biophotons and the role they play. 

At one point biophotons were considered byproducts of chemical reactions within our DNA. 

We now know that the biophotons emitted from our cells are highly coherent energy that may be responsible for the operation of our biological systems.  

You may have heard of a concept in nature called bioluminescence whereby an animal like a jellyfish or firefly emits light. Biophotons fall into a similar realm of bioluminescence. However, the light coming from our bodies is very faint – invisible to the naked eye – and can only be measured with powerful scientific instruments.

Research into biophotons raises some interesting possibilities. 

Russian scientist Sergey Mayburov observed a batch of eggs from fish and frogs. He found that biophotons communicate in short, synchronized, quasi-periodic bursts. Previous experiments showed that fish eggs stored in different locations were able to sync their development through the use of biophotons. This idea of non-local communication between systems suggests that the light emitted from our cells may carry information which transcends current mainstream thought about how our biological systems work.

Mayburov likens this form of communication to the way error-correcting software sends binary data over a noisy incoherent channel. The goal in Mayburov’s example is to restore the system to coherent working order and that’s important when you consider the potential for biophotons in the human body. Since all frequency carries information, it makes sense that the coherent energy from this light could organize and influence matter into a more healthy balance.

Remember, coherence refers to a highly-structured and organized frequency. 

Think of a drum circle where all the players are working in the same rhythm and beat. This music is synchronized, organized and easy on the ears. That’s coherence. 

Now, picture a few of those drummers playing at a different speed or putting an emphasis on the wrong note. This music is jumbled and much harder to understand or enjoy. That’s incoherence.

Another Russian scientist named Peter Gariaev placed DNA inside a quartz container and zapped it with a laser (a very coherent form of light). The DNA absorbed the light and stored it for up to thirty days inside a corkscrew shaped spiral in an exact blueprint of light reflecting the DNA pattern. 

Even more interesting is that the spiral of light stayed in the same place even after the quartz container and the DNA had been removed

Gariaev’s work suggests some unknown force is holding the light in place. 

One possible explanation is that the DNA is responding to an external energy field. This energy field is exchanging information with your cells in the form of light. In essence, our bodies are working as a giant antenna that is constantly sending and receiving signals from the field.

This research even suggests that all living biological systems, including us, have the exact blueprint of our physical bodies stored in a field of light. 

We don’t have to look too hard to find similar examples of this phenomenon elsewhere in nature. Experiments done years earlier with plants showed that when part of leaf was cut off, a field of light – like the one from Gariaev’s tests – still remained around the perimeter of the leaf for an extended period of time.

The work into biophotons challenges our current understanding of cellular processes. 

In the traditional Newtonian model, the chemical reactions in our cells are essentially runners in a relay race handing off pieces of information at a specific time and place just like runners pass a baton to one another. If the research into biophotons proves correct then our cells behave much more like a symphony.

Picture a conductor using his hands and wand to send cues about whether or not to be louder or quieter, faster or slower. The musicians respond with small adjustments that keep the piece flowing smoothly which cues the conductor which cues the musicians and so on. Viewed in this way, our cells have more of a symbiotic relationship to each other and with the world around them.

Biophoton Manipulation: Scientific Explanation of Energy Manipulation

According to Popp’s research, the symphony of cells in our bodies send and receive messages faster than the speed of light, which further challenges the old Newtonian model of how our bodies operate.   The pace of this interaction means it’s a quantum phenomenon and needs to be evaluated differently. Indeed, the relatively new field of information biology is built on the belief that cells are guided by some external field of information and are not exclusively regulated by molecular charges.

Now, whether or not the biophotons in our cells are responding to an energy field or something else entirely is still being investigated. However, it does appear that we have the ability to influence the light coming from our bodies.

In a recent study, eight volunteers were placed in a darkened room and asked to visualize a bright light. The participants were monitored with light detectors that picked up an aura of light particles coming from the right side of their brains.   In a sense they were enhancing light.

What does this mean? 

We know that our cells emit light and that this light is constantly sending and receiving information. We also know that we have at least some ability to affect this light. If this is true then we have access to the control center of our minds and bodies. And if we have access and influence then we have the ability to change ourselves at the most fundamental level by enhancing our light.

In our Advanced Workshops that are conducted around the world, we have actually measured significant positive changes in this invisible field of light with our participants and it seems to directly correlate with changes in their health.

Dr Joe Dispenza

Harnessing Your Energy

 

Brenda Clarke

Technology has made it easier to communicate with each other. 

Not too long ago the fastest way to reach someone – outside of a face-to-face conversation – was via letter or telegraph. Responses could take days or even weeks and by then the information may have no longer been relevant. The advent of cell phones, social media, and email has provided us near instantaneous communication whenever or wherever we want – most of the time.

If you grew up in the pre-digital era you’re familiar with rabbit ears on television sets. 

The signal at times provided an erratic, imperfect picture interrupted by periodic bursts of abrasive white noise that sounded like plastic bags being crumpled. This same din could also be heard on the radio. 

When you hear static on the broadcast it means you’re not tuned into the right frequency. 

The only way to get rid of it was by either adjusting the antenna or turning the dial.

Of course, we still live in a world of static.   

Think about the last time you hit a “dead” zone and your cell phone signal started to break up. 

Better technology hasn’t completely eliminated interference and in some ways may have made it worse.

Think about all the time you spend on your cell phone either talking or texting. 

What about all those work emails or Facebook posts? 

You’re very likely spending a lot of time and energy communicating with others and not a lot of time with yourself.

In a strange twist, we’re more in tune with our coworkers, friends or family than we are with ourselves. Put another way – we’re incoherent. 

Coherence is a scientific principle that explains the relative clarity of a signal. 

Going back to the example from earlier, coherence is a clear image on a TV or good reception on the radio.

But that’s just the end product, what we see. 

Coherent signals are typically highly organized, balanced and rhythmic. 

This energy or information is the raw materials that allow for creation. 

Incoherence is the opposite; it’s the distorted, scrambled noise you hear when you’re driving and move out of range.

 

Our brain and body are constantly sending and receiving signals. 

Biophotons emitted from our DNA may be responsible for the operation of our biological systems. Biophotons are a highly coherent form of energy that allow for communication between cells and an external energy field.

The mechanistic model of the universe relies on molecular reactions to explain how our bodies work. 

In this framework we are little more than a series of chain reactions. 

Biophotons offer a different way of understanding. 

Biophotonic emissions are much more fluid in nature and respond to information being received. 

This information is communicated between cells which then make adjustments. 

Jazz musicians are famous for improvisation which is similar to how biophotons work. 

The musicians start with a basic sound then play off each other to create a new piece. 

This is only possible because each musician is listening and making informed choices about how to respond. The end result is a seemingly polished piece of music.

Now, all energy has a frequency and all frequency carries information. 

According to my interpretation of the Quantum Model of Reality, all disease can be seen as a lowering of frequency and an incoherent vibration of matter. 

Or, put another way, all disease is a result of incoherence.

It all comes back to communication. 

The more incoherent the signal the less light and information is exchanged between cells. 

The resulting change in energy yields a corresponding change in frequency. 

This frequency range is more matter and less energy. 

Because there is less energy the cells cannot properly execute their biological functions, and that leads to disease or illness.

What does an incoherent message look like? 

The easiest way to conceptualize the idea is to think of a thought, feeling or emotion that carries personal weight. This thought, feeling or emotion has an energy that directly impacts how you think and how you feel.

For instance, when you recall that memory of when you got married it does something to you. 

Maybe you feel calm or happy or maybe the memory evokes anger because it gets you thinking about your ex-husband/wife. 

Your response sends a signal from your brain to your body which responds in a specific way which provokes a response from your brain.

If the signal you’re sending is incoherent, the only way to get out of the loop outlined above is by raising your energy. You need a stronger signal to override the noise and drown out the past. Much like a car driving out of range, you need to get closer to the source if you want clarity and understanding.

We’ve taught how to change their coherence by using meditation to access the brain’s inner control panel. 

Our tests have shown that it’s possible to create heightened amplitudes of coherent energy that, in many cases, has produced measurable differences in overall health.

 

We have also instructed students how to activate and maintain states of heart coherence by cultivating elevated emotions though their heart. 

When the brain (thoughts) and the body (feelings) are both aligned to the same level of synchrony, the side effect is a significant and quantifiable increase in biophotonic emissions surrounding the body – which we have measured. This idea sounds complex, however, once you tune your brain and body into the right energy and information, you’ll find it’s easier than you expected.

 

Dr Joe Dispenza

Advertisement

diy13

 

I’m a tranquilizer.

I’m effective at home.

I work in the office.

I can take exams

on the witness stand.

I mend broken cups with care.

All you have to do is take me,

let me melt beneath your tongue,

just gulp me

with a glass of water.

I know how to handle misfortune,

how to take bad news.

I can minimize injustice,

lighten up God’s absence,

or pick the widow’s veil that suits your face.

What are you waiting for—

have faith in my chemical compassion.

You’re still a young man/woman.

It’s not too late to learn how to unwind.

Who said

you have to take it on the chin?

Let me have your abyss.

I’ll cushion it with sleep.

You’ll thank me for giving you

four paws to fall on.

Sell me your soul.

There are no other takers.

There is no other devil anymore.

Wislawa Szymborska

A origem das crises pessoais interiores

 

Kateryna Soroka

A origem de quase todas as crises pessoais interiores é a simples distância entre, 

O que fazemos e o que gostávamos de estar a fazer. 

Entre o sítio onde estamos e onde gostávamos de estar. 

Entre o que somos e o que sabemos que seríamos capazes de Ser.  

Foi para isso que a vida nos deu o livre arbítrio! 

Para que cada um possa fazer essa viagem interna dos medos da mente para o que a alma sabe ser possível. 

Vera Luz

Emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal

A análise de todas as emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal dá-nos pistas para sair desse estado. O tecido da resiliência é frequentemente moldado pela gestão adequada dessas realidades internas.

As emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal podem nos paralisar. 

Essa súbita e inesperada fratura do presente geralmente deixa-nos em estados para os quais nem sempre estamos preparados psicologicamente. 

Dor, angústia, incerteza, medo… 

Compreender o papel que essas realidades internas desempenham pode ajudar-nos a superar esses momentos de maneira mais eficaz.

Mas… como fazer isso? 

Se há algo que muitos de nós sabemos é que, quando estamos envolvidos numa crise pessoal, há pouco espaço para a reflexão e para a clareza mental que nos permite tomar boas decisões. 

Quando a adversidade surge, o medo cresce, e isso é normal e até esperado.

Devemos considerar que o nosso cérebro ainda é governado por instintos muito primitivos e mecanismos de defesa. Dessa maneira, quando ele percebe, intui e fica ciente de uma ameaça ou do colapso da nossa homeostase interna, aparece uma resposta muito comum: o desejo de fugir. 

O medo controla tudo e mal conseguimos raciocinar com equilíbrio.

No entanto, vale a pena refletir por um momento sobre o que a própria palavra “crise” significa. 

Esse termo vem do grego e tem vários significados que convergem para a mesma ideia: decisão, julgamento, resolução, discernimento…

Tudo isso, sem dúvida, nos encoraja a entender um aspecto simples: 

somos obrigados a superar o medo, contorná-lo, para que nos permita tomar novas decisões e, assim, iniciar uma nova etapa. 

No entanto, em primeiro lugar, é necessário entender a anatomia das crises e saber que tipo de emoções as integram.

Albert Einstein disse que 

sem crise não há méritos. 

Ele apontou, por sua vez, que são nesses momentos em que o melhor de alguém pode surgir, porque em toda crise, o vento é como uma carícia que pode nos encorajar.

Sem dúvida, isso parece evocativo e, embora essas ideias nos inspirem e motivem, é claro que não é fácil enfrentar aqueles momentos em que surgem instabilidade, incerteza e medo.

Por outro lado, algo que também sabemos é que 

nem todas as crises são iguais. 

Algumas são ameaças claras ao nosso equilíbrio psicológico e/ou físico (Goldenberg, 1983). 

Outras vezes, são eventos repentinos que geram mudanças às quais somos obrigados a dar algum tipo de resposta (Rosenbaun e Calhoun, 1977).

O conceito de “crise” é muito complexo e abrange muitas realidades, como explicam, num estudo, os médicos Donald Coates e Katherine Eastman. 

Esses estados temporários de alteração e desafio têm origens infinitas e afetam qualquer faixa etária. Além disso, algo que é apreciado em muitos casos é a convergência das mesmas realidades internas.

Estas são as 5 emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal:

1. Medo (não estou preparado para isto, tenho medo)

O medo é essa emoção regulada por nossa amígdala cerebral. Essa sentinela emocional é responsável por induzir esse tipo de reação quando detecta algum tipo de ameaça ou evento inesperado que rompe o equilíbrio que tínhamos.

Assim, o fim de um relacionamento, a perda de um emprego, de uma amizade, de um membro da família ou algo importante que tenha ficado para trás, abrem as portas para essa emoção avassaladora, que é o medo.

2. Raiva (por que  isto está a acontecer comigo?)

Às vezes, mais do que pura raiva, surge a indignação e a perplexidade. A pessoa que está a passar por uma crise pergunta constantemente “porquê eu?”. Na verdade, o surgimento dessa emoção é um processo natural. É comum vivenciar isto com um pouco de raiva. Nós nos recusamos a aceitar a situação e até nos sentimos incompreendidos.

Pouco a pouco, a aceitação acaba por chegar, mas, primeiro, percorreremos esse caminho habitado pelas chamas da raiva.

3. Resistência à mudança (sinto-me impotente, não posso fazer nada)

Outra das emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal no seu início é a impotência. Além da raiva e da incompreensão, há a ideia de que não seremos capazes de mudar tudo o que aconteceu. Se meu parceiro me deixou, o mundo acabou para mim, nunca mais serei feliz.

Se eu perdi um parente, o mundo parou e não há como voltar atrás, está tudo acabado... 

Essas ideias são recorrentes nos estágios iniciais de uma crise. 

Idealmente, não devemos apegar-nos a essas ideias nem tornar crónicos esses estados, e sim nos permitirmos receber ajuda para gerar mudanças, assumindo novas perspectivas.

4. Vergonha, desconforto (quero afastar-me de todos e de tudo)

Há quem tenha vergonha de se ver em certas situações. 

Outros sentem apenas desconforto e rejeição em relação a tudo e todos. 

É comum em todos os casos desejar um certo isolamento, querer afastar-se da realidade imediata para ficar sozinho consigo mesmo.

Praticar a introspecção e o reconhecimento pessoal são coisas positivas por um tempo limitado. Ajuda a reorganizar as ideias e iniciar o processo de aceitação. 

No entanto, por sua vez, precisamos ser capazes de nos abrir emocionalmente aos outros.

5. Dor emocional (sinto-me magoado, angustiado, paralisado…)

É possível que nos digam em muitas ocasiões que a dor faz parte do curso da vida. 

No entanto, quando vivenciamos a dor, percebemos que é algo injusto, inesperado e grande demais para conseguirmos aceitar tanto sofrimento.

Assim, outras emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal são todas aquelas que compõem a dor emocional de alguém. É a tristeza, a angústia, a falta de esperança. 

É como uma ferida interna que dói a todo momento e que não sabemos como aliviar…

Para além do que possamos pensar, o fato de aceitar, reconhecer e validar a existência dessa dor emocional pode nos ajudar a promover o processo correto do confrontar psicológico. Deixar que todos esses estados internos fluam pouco a pouco favorecerá o alívio do sofrimento e a busca por novas resoluções.

Para concluir, 

entender todas as emoções que acompanham uma crise pessoal permitirá, sem dúvida, moldar o músculo da resiliência. 

Não é um processo fácil ou rápido.  

As crises não são tratadas numa semana ou um mês. 

Precisamos transitar por caminhos onde a dor é inevitável.

No entanto, a cada passo, a pele fica mais dura, o coração se acalma e a mente se torna mais flexível, receptiva e criativa. Mais cedo ou mais tarde, encontraremos não apenas alívio, mas também novos caminhos e possibilidades.

Barbara Rubin Wainrib

in, Crisis Intervention and Trauma Response: Theory and Practice

 

D.H. Lawrence Quotes

 

“Me? Oh, intellectually I believe in having a good heart, a chirpy penis, a lively intelligence, and the courage to say ‘shit!’ in front of a lady.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

“We are so overwhelmed with quantities of books, that we hardly realize any more that a book can be valuable, valuable like a jewel, or a lovely picture, into which you can look deeper and deeper and get a more profound experience very time. It is far, far better to read one book six times, at intervals, than to read six several books.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Apocalypse

“In the short summer night she learned so much. She would have thought a woman would have died of shame... She felt, now, she had come to the real bedrock of her nature, and was essentially shameless. She was her sensual self, naked an unashamed. She felt a triumph, almost a vainglory. So! That was how it was! That was life! That was how onself really was! There was nothing left to disguise or be ashamed of. She shared her ultimate nakedness with a man, another being.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

“Men are free when they are obeying some deep, inward voice of religious belief. Obeying from within. Men are free when they belong to a living, organic, believing community, active in fulfilling some unfulfilled, perhaps unrealized purpose. Not when they are escaping to some wild west. The most unfree souls go west, and shout of freedom.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Studies in Classic American Literature

“But having more freedom she only became more profoundly aware of the big want. She wanted so many things. She wanted to read great, beautiful books, and be rich with them; she wanted to see beautiful things, and have the joy of them for ever; she wanted to know big, free people; and there remained always the want she could put no name to?

It was so difficult. There were so many things, so much to meet and surpass. And one never knew where one was going.”

― D.H. Lawrence, The Rainbow

“Night, in which everything was lost, went reaching out, beyond stars and sun. Stars and sun, a few bright grains, went spiraling round for terror, and holding each other in embrace, there in a darkness that outpassed them all, and left them tiny and daunted. So much, and himself, infinitesimal, at the core of nothingness, and yet not nothing.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers

“They wanted genuine intimacy, but they could not get even normally near to anyone, because they scorned to take the first steps, they scorned the triviality which forms common human intercourse.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers

“So as long as you can forget your body you are happy and the moment you begin to be aware of your body, you are wretched. So if civilization is any good, it has to help us forget our bodies, and then time passes happily without our knowing it. Help us get rid of our bodies altogether.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

“Yes, I do believe in something. I believe in being warm-hearted. I believe especially in being warm-hearted in love, in fucking with a warm heart. I believe if men could fuck with warm hearts, and the women take it warm-heartedly, everything would come all right. It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy.”

― D.H. Lawrence

“You're always begging things to love you," he said, "as if you were a beggar for love. Even the flowers, you have to fawn on them--”

― D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers

“I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections. And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill. I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self, and the wounds to the soul take a long, long time, only time can help and patience, and a certain difficult repentance, long difficult repentance, realization of life’s mistake, and the freeing oneself from the endless repetition of the mistake which mankind at large has chosen to sanctify.”

― D.H. Lawrence

“Always this same morbid interest in other people and their doings, their privacies, their dirty linen, always this air of alertness for personal happenings, personalities, personalities, personalities. Always this subtle criticism and appraisal of other people, this analysis of other people’s motives. If anatomy presupposes a corpse, then psychology presupposes a world of corpses. Personalities, which means personal criticism and analysis, presuppose a whole world laboratory of human psyches waiting to be vivisected. If you cut a thing up, of course it will smell. Hence, nothing raises such an infernal stink, at last, as human psychology.”

― D.H Lawrence

“If you could only tell them that living and spending isn't the same thing! But it's no good. If only they were educated to live instead of earn and spend, they could manage very happily...”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

“As we all know, too much of any divine thing is destruction”

― D.H. Lawrence

“What man most passionately wants is his living wholeness and his living unison, not his own isolate salvation of his "soul." Man wants his physical fulfillment first and foremost, since now, once and once only, he is in the flesh and potent. For man, the vast marvel is to be alive. For man, as for flower and beast and bird, the supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive. Whatever the unborn and the dead may know, they cannot know the beauty, the marvel of being alive in the flesh. The dead may look after the afterwards. But the magnificent here and now of life in the flesh is ours, and ours alone, and ours only for a time. We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive and in the flesh, and part of the living, incarnate cosmos. I am part of the sun as my eye is part of me. That I am part of the earth my feet know perfectly, and my blood is part of the sea. My soul knows that I am part of the human race, my soul is an organic part of the great human soul, as my spirit is part of my nation. In my own very self, I am part of my family. There is nothing of me that is alone and absolute except my mind, and we shall find that the mind has no existence by itself, it is only the glitter of the sun on the surface of the waters.”

― D.H. Lawrence

“You're spending your life without renewing it. You've got to be amused, properly healthily amused. You're spending your vitality without making any. Can't go on you know. Depression! Avoid depression!”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

“There's lots of good fish in the sea...maybe...but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and if you're not mackerel or herring yourself, you are likely to find very few good fish in the sea.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

“No form of love is wrong, so long as it is love, and you yourself honour what you are doing. Love has an extraordinary variety of forms! And that is all there is in life, it seems to me. But I grant you, if you deny the variety of love you deny love altogether. If you try to specialize love into one set of accepted feelings, you wound the very soul of love. Love must be multi-form, else it is just tyranny, just death”

― D. H. Lawrence

“Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lovelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to seek for it.”

― D.H. Lawrence

“Obscenity only comes in when the mind despises and fears the body, and the body hates and resists the mind.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

“And that is how we are. By strength of will we cut off our inner intuitive knowledge from admitted consciousness. This causes a state of dread, or apprehension, which makes the blow ten times worse when it does fall.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

“Human love, human trust, are always perilous, because they break down. The greater the love, the greater the trust, and the greater the peril, the greater the disaster. Because to place absolute trust on another human being is in itself a disaster, both ways, since each human being is a ship that must sail its own course, even if it go in company with another ship.... And yet, love is the greatest thing between human beings.”

― D H Lawrence

“When the emotional soul receives a wounding shock, the soul seems to recover as the body recovers. But this is only in appearance. Slowly, slowly the wound to the soul begins to make itself felt, like a bruise, which only slowly deepens its terrible ache, till it fills all the psyche. And when we think we have recovered and forgotten, it is then that the terrible after-effects have to be encountered at their worst.”

― D.H. Lawrence

“Sleep is still most perfect, in spite of hygienists, when it is shared with a beloved. The warmth, the security and peace of soul, the utter comfort from the touch of the other, knits the sleep, so that it takes the body and soul completely in its healing.”

― D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers

“Oh, what a catastrophe, what a maiming of love when it was made personal, merely personal feeling. This is what is the matter with us: we are bleeding at the roots because we are cut off from the earth and sun and stars. Love has become a grinning mockery because, poor blossom, we plucked it from its stem on the Tree of Life and expected it to keep on blooming in our civilized vase on the table.”

― D.H. Lawrence

“The world is supposed to be full of possibilities, but they narrow down to pretty few in most personal experience. There's lots of good fish in the sea... maybe... but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and if you're not mackerel or herring yourself, you are likely to find very few good fish in the sea.”

― D. H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

“Sex and a cocktail: they both lasted about as long, had the same effect, and amounted to the same thing.” 

― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

Lies About Love

We are a liars, because

the truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow,

whereas letters are fixed,

and we live by the letter of truth.

The love I feel for my friend, this year,

is different from the love I felt last year.

If it were not so, it would be a lie.

Yet we reiterate love! love! love!

as if it were a coin with a fixed value

instead of a flower that dies, and opens a different bud.

D H Lawrence

Limites

 

Hillary Ilyse

Uma noite me dei conta de que possuía uma história,

contínua, desde o meu nascimento indesligável de mim.

E de que era monótona com sua fieira de lábios, narizes,

modos de voz e gesto repetindo-se.

Até os dons, um certo comum apelo ao religioso

e que tudo pesava. E desejei ser outro.

Minha mãe não tinha letras.

Meu pai frequentou um ginásio por três dias

de proveitoso retiro espiritual.

Tive um mundo grandíssimo a explorar:

‘Demagogia, o que é mesmo que essa palavra é?’

Abismos de maravilha oferecidos em sermãos triunfantes:

‘Tota pulchra est Maria!’

Só quadros religiosos nas paredes.

Só um lugar aonde ir

— e já existiam Nova Iorque, Roma!

Tanta coisa eu julguei inventar,

minha vida e paixão,

minha própria morte,

esta tristeza endócrina resolvida a jaculatórias pungentes,

observações sobre o tempo. Aprendi a suspirar.

A poesia é tão triste! O que é bonito enche os olhos de

lágrimas.

Tenho tanta saudade dos meus mortos!

Estou tão feliz! À beira do ridículo

arde meu peito em brasas de paixão.

Vinte anos de menos, só seria mais jovem.

Nunca, mais amorável.

Já desejei ser outro.

Não desejo mais não.

 

Adélia Prado

in, Poesia Reunida

It ends with . . . no catharsis

I finally got around to seeing It Ends With Us.

It deals with the important subject of intergenerational trauma.

Blake Lively plays Lily Bloom, a woman traumatized as a child by her parents’ marriage, in which she witnessed her father physically abusing her mother.

She goes on to meet Ryle Kincaid, a neurosurgeon, whose meet-cute with her begins with him kicking a chair across a rooftop in a fit of anger. The red flags only continue from there: his instant declaration that he doesn’t do relationships; telling her to “shut up” and leave a party she only just arrived at to go somewhere more quiet (i.e., his bedroom) for sex; and repeatedly saying he can’t stop thinking about her, even though he still “doesn’t do relationships.”

Finally, he “relents” and decides he wants to “try” having a relationship with her, which is when things really begin to go downhill. In a disturbing reverberation of the events of her childhood, his capricious rage leads to multiple acts of physical abuse.

Actually, my favorite artistic choice in the movie is that these acts of violence are made intentionally ambiguous. They all look like mistakes—did he really hit her when the food was burning in the oven, or did he just knock into her by mistake? 

Later in the movie, when she is coming to terms with what’s really happened, we are played the same scenes, though this time it’s painfully obvious that there was no ambiguity at all. 

It’s as though we, the audience, have been gaslit right along with her the whole time.

On the very same day that Lily realizes she must leave, she discovers she is pregnant with Ryle’s child. During the pregnancy, Ryle becomes contrite, loving, and helpful. Even so, at the birth, Lily informs him they’ll be getting a divorce. 

After Ryle has left, in a solitary moment with her newborn daughter, she tells her:

“It ends with us.”

 

“It ends with us” is a powerful statement. 

It forces all of us who relate to reckon with our own intergenerational trauma, asking ourselves: 

Will it end with me?

 

• Will I pass down the trauma of my mother, or father, who themselves were passing down the trauma of those who came before them? 
• Or will I be the one to break the cycle?

It’s a question that makes us realize that anyone can be the pioneer of change in their personal lineage. Anyone can decide “enough is enough,” and do something different. 

In doing so, they not only change their own lives, but the lives of everyone who comes after them.

Breaking the cycle is hard. 

It requires us to negate our own conditioning and rewire ourselves. 

It’s not for the faint of heart. 

But one of the things I was reminded of when watching Lily take such steps is how often it comes with no real catharsis.

  

3 times Lily Bloom gets little to no catharsis:

1. The death of her dad

We discover that Lily chose not to travel home and see her abusive father when he was dying, presumably because it was just too painful, and she wouldn’t know what to say to him if she did. Still, her mother wants her to speak at the funeral, suggesting she “just say five things you love about him.” Lily tries, but on the day, she still isn’t able to write a single thing, and abruptly leaves the stage without speaking. 

We’re not led to believe that Lily didn’t love her dad, but that her feelings were so impossibly complicated that she couldn’t bring herself to utter anything at all.

His being alive offered her no closure, and neither did his death. She never heard what she needed to hear from him, and so is left with the terrible disappointment of having had a dad who let her down terribly, and never answered for it.

 

2. Her mum’s explanation of why she never left

There’s a beautiful moment when Lily’s mum is helping her build a crib for her unborn baby. She talks about having never built things before, since this was always the remit of her husband. Though it sounds innocent enough, in the context of what we know about her relationship with Lily’s father, it can’t help but feel like a metaphor for all the ways he debilitated her and made her feel incapable.

Lily asks her why she stayed with him, to which she plainly replies: 

“Because it would have been harder to leave. And because I loved him.”

These two laconic statements are raw, honest, and sympathetic. And yet, they’re not exactly an apology for having kept Lily under the same roof as the man who would later beat her boyfriend to within an inch of his life, or traumatize her by putting the abuse on full display in their house for years.

I know there will be no shortage of readers here who have at some point felt enraged that everything they were put through was reduced to: “I did it because I loved them.” 

It can feel like a depressing lack of closure, as if “love” is the appropriate justification for any and all evils that took place within its insulated cocoon, where nothing got in, and nothing got out. 

 

3. Lily saying she wanted a divorce 

Lily realizes she will not put her child through what she went through, and states that she wants a divorce. In the moment she says it, Ryle is holding their baby in the hospital bed, and is being compellingly loving and sensitive. He seems vulnerable. There’s no anger on her part, just clarity. It’s not some big moment of sticking her middle finger up to someone who hurt her. 

She loves him. She even feels sorry for him and the traumas that have made him the way he is. 

But even when he says he’s ready to become all she needs him to be, and everything she’s wanted seems once again within her grasp, in order to truly break the cycle, she still has to say goodbye to him on a romantic level and choose to bring up a child as separated parents. 

How unsatisfying.

 

The prize for finally winning the battle against our conditioning, and thus breaking the cycle of our own intergenerational trauma, is rarely the big moment we are hoping for with those around us. 

People don’t suddenly blossom into what we’d always hoped they would be simply because we’ve changed. They often don’t apologize. Or even if they do, it’s not the kind of apology that makes us feel they’ve truly acknowledged what they’ve put us through. We often have to let go of people we still love, and even find ourselves, against all logic, feeling sorry for. It can be equally painful to watch innocent people we love remain with the very people we have chosen to leave behind. 

 

We therefore cannot rely on the expectation of external catharsis. 

It has to be about what it does for us: 

the subtle-but-profound effect of consciously choosing who to invite into—or release from—our lives, and going out to meet the world in a different way than we used to. 

In doing so, we plant the seeds for a different life than the one we’ve previously known. 

The ultimate reward for breaking the cycle is not closure, it’s peace . . . as well as the ability to model, and bring a little more of it to those we love who have so far been unable to discover it for themselves.

Key Takeaways

1. “It ends with us” is a powerful statement. It forces all of us who relate to reckon with our own intergenerational trauma, asking ourselves: Will it end with me?

2. Anyone can be the pioneer of their lineage when it comes to intergenerational trauma. Anyone can decide “enough is enough,” and do something different. In doing so, they not only change their own lives, but the lives of everyone who comes after them.

3. The prize for finally winning the battle against our conditioning isn’t always closure, it’s peace. 

What About You?

• Is there a situation in your life where you’ve been expecting catharsis to come from the outside, instead of simply appreciating the gift of peace you have given yourself? 
• How has parting ways with someone meant you are no longer suffering in the old ways? 
• How has approaching life differently brought newness and magic into your life that was never available to you before? 

Matthew Hussey