domingo, 15 de junho de 2025

Mundo Interior


Antonius Andry Suharto Djumantara





 Ouço que a Natureza é uma lauda eterna 
De pompa, de fulgor, de movimento e lida, 
Uma escala de luz, uma escala de vida 
De sol à ínfima luzerna. 

Ouço que a natureza, - a natureza externa, -
Tem o olhar que namora, e o gesto que intimida 
Feiticeira que ceva uma hidra de Lerna 
Entre as flores da bela Armida. 

E contudo, se fecho os olhos, e mergulho 
Dentro em mim, vejo à luz de outro sol, outro abismo 
Em que um mundo mais vasto, armado de outro orgulho, 

Rola a vida imortal e o eterno cataclismo, 
E, como o outro, guarda em seu âmbito enorme, 
Um segredo que atrai, que desafia - e dorme.


Machado de Assis
in, Ocidentais



Money is Energy

 




What message lies under fear, 
living healthily with money, and 
not stepping into a familiar trap. 


“In the quiet flicker of red-light emotions, I choose not to run but to listen; each whisper is a map, guiding me home to my Shen, where truth waits patiently beneath the waves of overwhelm.”


Have you ever been swept away by a flood of powerful emotions that left you breathless, moments when a word, a glance, or even a memory pulls you under, and you’re left wondering, 
“Why does this hurt so much? 
Why is this feeling back again?” 

Do your emotions sometimes seem like uninvited guests crashing through the stillness of your spirit, demanding attention? 
If so, you're not alone; more importantly, you're not broken.

In this journal, we journey into the heart of emotional understanding, not to fix, avoid or numb ourselves, but to finally listen on a more profound level. 

  1. What if our most intense emotions, often called ‘negative’ feelings, were not signs of weakness or ‘wounds’, but sacred messages? 
  2. What if our anxiety, sadness, or frustration weren’t problems to avoid but messengers inviting us to follow them home to our truth?

Drawing from the timeless teachings of Taoism and the practice of wu wei, effortless effort, we’ll explore how our emotional patterns reveal hidden beliefs and how self-compassion and alignment with the Tao can transform pain into wisdom
Together, we’ll understand how to shift from overwhelm to observation, from resistance to realignment. 

Let’s begin by honouring the red-light feelings for what they truly are: 
Our Inner Child crying out for help, guidance and understanding, not warning us of doom, but pleading for reassurance, resilience and someone that can be trusted, even in the most challenging of moments.



When Emotions Speak, Listen

In the wisdom of Taoism, everything is part of the flow. 
Emotions are not anomalies; they are part of the natural rhythm. 
When we interpret emotions as problems, we oppose that rhythm. We resist the current and call the river dangerous. However, emotions are not the fault, but rather the consequence.

Think of a red light on your dashboard. 
It doesn’t mean the car is broken beyond repair; it signals that attention is needed deeper than the dashboard light. 

The same is true of red-light emotions, which seem disruptive, painful, or overwhelming. 
Sadness, rage, jealousy, and fear do not arise without purpose. 
They rise when we have strayed from our flow and become lost in a ‘Maze of Confusion’, separating from our truth, honesty and integrity.

The Inner Child, ever hopeful for safety, seeks to control our world, often not with malice or defiance, but with desperation masked as urgency. 
When it perceives a threat, whether real or imagined, it does not respond with reason but with an emotional burst: fear, worry, anxiety, or even anger. 
This, however, is not misbehaviour; it is a child’s communication. It is a heartfelt signal from a part of us still anchored in the past, where emotional reactions once ensured survival. These are not tantrums to be punished, but questions to be answered with wisdom.

Yet, many of us have only ever learned to respond with suppression or surrender. 
We may have soothed ourselves by giving in to the Inner Child’s narrative, changing course, avoiding risks, abandoning plans, all in the hope that the emotional storm would pass. 
But in doing so, we rarely reach the deeper layers. 

We offered distraction instead of direction, comfort instead of clarity. We silenced the cries without addressing the unresolved issue beneath them. 
It is like quieting a fire alarm by removing the battery rather than locating the source of the smoke.

This is where the actual teaching begins. 
The cries of the Inner Child are not meant to be obeyed unthinkingly nor dismissed coldly. 
They are invitations. 
When we choose to pause, not to react, not to placate, but to listen, we begin to decode these cries with mature curiosity. 

We ask, 
“What belief is fuelling this reaction? 
What misunderstanding has led to this fear?” 

In doing so, we step into our role not as victims of emotion, but as educators of our emotional world.

A counter-argument might suggest: 
“But isn’t reacting a sign of being human? 
Isn’t it authentic to express how we feel?” 

Indeed, it is. 
But expression without understanding becomes a cycle of repetition rather than growth. 
The Tao teaches us that authenticity is not raw emotion left unchecked; it is alignment. 
Genuine authenticity arises not from uncontrolled reaction, but from a harmonious response rooted in clarity, compassion, and responsibility.

When we respond to our Inner Child with loving boundaries and thoughtful inquiry, we create space for transformation. 
We move from chaos to coherence, from control to conversation. 
We teach the Inner Child that safety is not achieved through panic, but through understanding and awareness. That its voice matters, but it must learn the language of truth, not fear.

This profound shift in how we relate to our own emotions is one of the greatest gifts of Taoism and wu wei. It teaches us that every emotional spike is a doorway
Every reaction holds a lesson. 
And every moment of inner conflict is an opportunity, not to suppress or obey, but to educate, guide, and realign with the gentle, powerful rhythm of the Tao.

Our beliefs do not just create our emotions. 
They are crafted from them in a self-reinforcing ‘Carousel of Despair’, and we can become fearful of our fear! 

In Wu Wei Wisdom, we teach that every emotional feeling is born from a thought or belief. 
Nothing arrives without reason. 
We are not at the mercy of chaos, but can be guided by our spiritual inner compass, if only we would listen.



The Pendulum's Wisdom: Balance Over Extremes

Emotional experiences often swing like a pendulum between extremes: 
Elation to despair, confidence to doubt. 
These oscillations are not flaws but part of the Tao’s rhythm. 
But where we suffer is when we get stuck or addicted to the swinging.

Taoism doesn’t offer a life free of emotional contrast; it provides wisdom about where to stand. 
In the wu wei centre. 
In alignment. 
In observation. 

The Tao Te Ching, in Verse 59, reveals: 
“From restraint comes clarity. From clarity, alignment. From alignment, compassion.” 

Here is our emotional centre, where wu wei arises, the effortless effort of returning to ourselves without force or fear.

Many of us have been taught to escape emotions, to distract, fix, medicate, or rationalise away. 
But avoidance only invites repetition
Emotions are not cured by avoidance; they are not resolved by ‘giving in’. 
They are resolved by being seen, understood and accepted lovingly and compassionately. 
And then resolving the issue.

This is where the power of self-responsibility awakens, not blame or shame, but an honest reckoning: 
“What do I believe created this emotion? 
And does that belief serve me any longer?” 
This question is the beginning of transformation.



The Inner Child’s Mirror: Reflections of Belief

Our Inner Child holds tight to old stories, not because they are true, but because they are familiar. Beliefs such as: 
  • “I am not enough,” 
  • “I must please to be loved,” or 
  • “I will fail if I try” 
become the script by which emotions are created.

When we encounter life through the lens of these beliefs, emotions rise to match the narrative. 
A comment becomes an attack. 
A challenge becomes a confirmation of failure. 
A silence becomes rejection. 
But it’s not the moment causing the pain. It’s the belief and perception underneath.

So, we begin our healing by looking not at the emotional wave, but at the ocean floor. 
  1. What core belief is calling for our attention? 
  2. What misunderstanding is our Inner Child begging us to revisit, hold their hand, and resolve?
Our teachings use the Golden Thread Process to trace emotions to their roots. 
This is not an intellectual exercise but an act of deep self-honesty. 
Through this, we don’t simply manage emotions; we transform them. 
When we change the belief, the emotion changes.



Compassion, Not Coddling

Genuine compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s education. 
When we approach the Inner Child compassionately, we say, 
“I understand why you believe this. 
You believed it kept you safe, but we don’t need it anymore.”

  • Self-compassion means we stop calling ourselves weak for crying, or broken for fearing. 
  • We stop criticising ourselves for repeating lessons. 
  • We learn to speak with truth, honesty and integrity, 

Of course this hurts, because it matters.
And perhaps, if we dare to look a little deeper, we may begin to question the power we’ve granted these red-light emotions. 

  • In our rush to escape or bury them, have we unwittingly transformed them into monstrous shadows, larger and more fearsome than they are? 
  • What if these feelings we dread are not dragons to slay, but misunderstood signals guiding us inward?

We might marvel at our survival if we pause, breathe, and soften our resistance, even just a little. 
After all, haven’t we weathered every storm of emotion and still found ourselves here, reading these words, wiser and more capable than we often allow ourselves to believe? 

This isn’t weakness; it is lived experience. 
Perhaps we are emotional experts in disguise, those who have faced the tempest of feeling and endured. With a new understanding, we can step out of the role of victim and become the compassionate observer, curious and willing to listen and find a resolution.

When we recognise that our emotions are not truths but messengers, sometimes loud, sometimes misguided, we create the space for transformation. 
Through this lens, self-compassion is no longer passive sympathy; it becomes an act of profound courage, the first step in reclaiming our inner harmony and returning to our wu wei flow, where acceptance becomes effortless effort.

The I Ching, Hexagram 61, teaches: 
“Inner truth brings connection. 
Sincerity is the bridge to harmony.” 

When we are sincere with ourselves, we begin to trust. 
And where trust grows, so does healing. 
  1. We stop reacting and begin responding. 
  2. We stop defending and start directing. 
  3. We stop surviving and begin thriving.



Embracing the Imperfection of Emotions

Let us not forget that life and our emotional journeys are imperfect by design. 
We will falter, repeat, and feel intensely. 
And this is not wrong; these are life lessons for us. 

In our modern world, perfectionism has masqueraded as a form of self-improvement. 
But Taoism teaches a different path: not a linear race toward flawlessness but a spiral inward, returning always to the wu wei centre.

  1. We do not aim to stop feeling. We strive to overcome our fear of our feelings. 
  2. We do not seek to control emotions. We strive to understand what they reveal. 

This is the heart of wu wei, not striving, but synchronising and not fighting our emotions, but flowing with the wisdom they offer.




Stepping Forward: One Breath at a Time

And so, where do we go from here? 
We take small steps, not because we are small but because wisdom is quiet. 
Healing is subtle. 
Progress in Tao is not measured by speed but sincerity.

  1. We begin by meeting each emotion with curiosity instead of contempt. 
  2. We question the beliefs that have guided us into pain. 
  3. We choose compassion over criticism, understanding over avoidance.
  4. We stop comparing, criticising, and being judgmental (CCJ), especially ourselves. 
  5. We remind our Inner Child that being seen is not dangerous but sacred. 

Each red-light emotion invites us not to panic but to pause, listen, understand, and align. 
As we do, we reclaim our power, not as force but as flow.

We close with this affirmation, drawn from the depths of Taoist truth:
“With each red light, I listen deeper. I honour the whispers under my emotions and align with my Shen. I walk not with fear, but with grace. Each feeling leads me home.”

  1. So, let us trust our emotional red-lights, telling us that something deep within our belief system needs our loving and compassionate attention. 
  2. Let us walk gently, consistently, and honestly, without expectation or punishment, one breath at a time, one belief at a time. 
  3. Let’s meet each red-light not with dread, but with curiosity and self-respect, knowing that behind every challenging emotion lies a message from our Inner Child, a call to pause, breathe, and see ourselves more clearly.

Remember, you have already survived every difficult moment you thought might break you. 
You are here. You are strong. 
And you are learning to move not through fear, but through understanding. 
This is the promise of “Honouring the Whispers under the Red Light” that even the most complex emotions can become stepping stones, not stumbling blocks.

There is no perfection to attain, only presence to return to. 
If this teaching resonates with you, try it today, not all at once, but in the smallest ways. 
Pause when emotions rise. Ask yourself gently, 
“What do I believe creates this feeling?” 
Be willing to challenge that thought. 
Be willing to stand with your Inner Child as a loving guide, not a harsh critic.

Growth is not about doing more; it’s about doing things differently and honestly. 
Keep going. Keep showing up for yourself. 
Let consistency be your companion and kindness your guide. 
And as you walk this path of truth and grace, know this deeply: 
You are not behind. You are not failing. 
You are uniquely unfolding, beautifully, courageously, and in alignment with the Tao.

Let us honour the whispers of our Shen under the red-light feelings. 
Let us return again and again to our natural flow. 
And each time we do, we come home to who we already are.


 





The Invisible Weight We Carry

  1. Have you ever watched money vanish as quickly as it comes, no matter how hard you try to hold on? 
  2. Do you find yourself living with the nagging belief that no matter what you do, it’s never enough? 
If money has ever felt like an unpredictable guest, distant, fleeting, never quite yours to keep, you’re not alone. 

But what if the issue isn’t truly about money at all?

This journal will explore something more profound: 
The energetic, emotional, and spiritual dance between money and our Inner Child. 

‘Flowing Worth’ invites us to look beyond our bank statements and into the inherited beliefs, fears, and narratives that shape our relationship with abundance.
 
Why is this subject so vital? 
Until we heal the money flow, we continue to work harder and not smarter, always trying to patch the surface of a much deeper ‘wound’.

Let’s understand how Taoism and Wu Wei Wisdom can reframe money not as a constant uphill battle but as a river we can learn to flow with. Let us pause and listen to the nagging fears of our Inner Child and lovingly guide them toward a place where safety, worth, and abundance are not distant dreams but gentle realities and a birthright.



The Inner Dialogue of Scarcity

For many of us, money becomes more than coins and bills; it becomes a symbol. 
To the Inner Child, it may represent love withheld, approval dangled just out of reach, or the fear-laced silence of nights when parents argued about what wasn’t enough. If we grew up seeing money lost, hoarded, or weaponised, we likely absorbed more than financial lessons; we absorbed beliefs that root deep into our sense of safety and self-worth.

The Inner Child doesn't calculate budgets or understand income streams; it reads emotions. 
It recalls the dread on adult faces and associates money with fear. 
It listens when people say, 
“Money doesn’t grow on trees,” and concludes, 
“We must not be safe. There’s never enough.” 


From there, scarcity becomes a recurring story. 
It plays quietly beneath the surface, whispering: 
  • “We can’t afford to relax.” 
  • “We’re not lucky like others.” 
  • “Who do we think we are to have more?” 

These thoughts are not logical; they are emotional truths that a part of us, still frozen in past experiences, believes.

And then, an even more tangled belief begins to form: 
“If I save money, it might be taken from me. 
If I build anything, it could vanish.” 

The Inner Child, fearing the pain of loss, may sabotage savings or avoid building wealth altogether. Better, it thinks, to spend it quickly, use it before it disappears. 
But this spending is not rooted in joy or alignment; it is often an anxious attempt to prove something: “Look at what I can buy. Look how much I’m worth now.” 
This fragile sense of value becomes tied to the idea of being bigger, better, and brighter. 
We compare, trying to feel superior, but each purchase is a temporary patch over a more profound uncertainty.

This is how we measure ourselves against others, using money as a mirror, reflecting our supposed success or our secret shame. 
And so, the cycle continues. 

The more we try to keep up, the more disconnected we become from the quiet voice within that wants to feel enough. 
Without pausing to notice, this inherited scarcity becomes the blueprint for how we live, spend, and judge our place in the world.


But we can change this. 
By understanding the root of these beliefs and gently reassuring the Inner Child that safety no longer lies in spending or proving, but in alignment, presence, and trust, we begin to release the fear.  
 
Money returns to what it truly is: not a symbol of worth or weapon of comparison, but simply energy, here to be directed, enjoyed, and used wisely in the flow of wu wei.




The Tao of Energetic Flow

Taoist wisdom gently shifts our understanding of abundance. 
It does not force, demand, or chase. 
The Tao does not fear the future; it flows into it. 
And so must we.

In Verse 48 of the Tao Te Ching, we are told: 
“In the pursuit of learning, every day something is acquired. 
In the pursuit of the Tao, every day something is released.” 

This gentle paradox invites us into a new kind of wisdom, not accumulation but release. 
Instead of badgering, 
“What can I gain today?” 
how about 
“What can I let go of?” 

Perhaps it’s a limiting belief, long worn like an old coat that no longer fits. Maybe it’s an outdated story about lack, or the restless need to control every corner of the financial future. These are not light burdens; they are the unseen weight we carry.

And sometimes, the release can be beautifully practical. 
A tender beginning could be as simple as opening your wardrobe and noticing what no longer serves your life as it is now. 
Are there clothes you haven’t worn in twelve months? 
Items that once promised transformation but now only gather dust? 
These pieces are more than fabric; they are silent symbols of who we thought we had to be, purchases perhaps made to impress, soothe, and compare. Letting them go is not just clearing clutter; it’s making space for truth.

Sell what you no longer need, and in doing so, invite fresh energy to enter. 
You create an income, yes, but more importantly, you create space. 
Space for calm. Space for clarity. Space for your Shen to breathe and re-align with what matters. 

This simple act, rooted in presence and wu wei, teaches us that order and abundance begin with what we release, not what we cling to
Let today be a soft declaration that you trust the flow more than the fear and welcome who you are becoming in releasing what once defined you.

Money is energy. 
It is neither inherently good nor bad; it mirrors our beliefs, emotions, and level of alignment. 
When we act from fear, money often eludes us. 
When we act from openness, trust, and purpose, we find that it flows in ways we couldn’t have predicted.

This does not mean ignoring reality or avoiding wise planning. 
Taoist alignment is never passivity; it is effortless effort, wu wei. 
It’s an action born not of panic but of presence. 
It’s understanding that to work with the Tao is to engage with life thoughtfully, compassionately, and without the heavy chains of comparison, criticism, or being judgmental (CCJ).




Rediscovering what was lost

Reclaiming your financial freedom means creating more and aligning more deeply with your Shen, shifting from a reactive to a responsive approach, from clinging tightly to trusting gently. 

This isn’t just about managing money, it’s about rediscovering the living, breathing essence of who we are beneath the fear. 
When we stop gripping and start aligning, something remarkable begins to happen: 
energy moves, ideas stir, and possibilities whisper to us again.

So, pause here and look within. 
  • Is there something resting quietly in your Shen, your true spirit, that you’ve longed to do but told yourself you couldn’t? 
  • A creative spark, a small dream, an idea that’s sat in the waiting room of your life for too long? 
Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself it’s not the right time, not practical, or that others won’t understand. These excuses may seem harmless, but over time, they create stagnation, not just in your creativity, but also in your Qi —the flow of life-force energy that fuels inspiration and abundance.

When energy stalls, so too can our financial flow. 
Not because we’re being punished or are unworthy, but because what is not expressed becomes blocked. Our Shen longs to create, not just consume. 
So today, why not take one small, brave step? 
Not a leap, not a perfect plan, just a beginning.
Start the project you’ve always imagined. 
Write the first line, plant the first seed, make the first call. 
Choose something genuine and honest that reflects your authentic self.

And when your Inner Child begins to panic, whispering fears of failure or futility, breathe. 
Drop your shoulders. 
Reassure that part of you is safe to try. 
Not to succeed immediately, not to impress anyone, but to move. 
Because movement is flow, and flow is where energy becomes abundance.

This is the quiet revolution of wu wei, not forcing, not striving, but choosing with clarity. Creating is not done out of pressure but from presence. 
When we align with our Shen, we stop trying to chase security and instead become its source: one inspired breath, one authentic action, one supported step at a time.



Challenging the Inner Narrative

Healing the money story begins not with spreadsheets, but with understanding. 
  • What did your Inner Child learn about money? 
  • What scenes shaped your view of worth? 
  • Were you told rich people are greedy, that money changes people, or that it disappears as fast as it arrives?

To create new patterns, we must lovingly confront these stories, not with blame but with curiosity. 
Tell your Inner Child, 
“I see why you’re scared. I know you want to feel safe.” 
From there, we reframe, re-educate, and replace scarcity with self-trust.

Instead of repeating the mantra “It’s too hard,” we ask: 
“What small step can I take today?” 
Instead of shrinking under the weight of “We’re not good with money,” we affirm: 
“We’re learning. We’re growing. And it’s safe to succeed.”

Even creating a budget, tracking spending, or setting financial goals can become spiritual acts when done with intention and mindfulness. 
These are not chores; they are conversations with the part of you that needs reassurance, that says, “We’ve got this.” 

  • Each choice made from love instead of fear breaks the cycle. 
  • Each small win builds confidence. 
  • Each aligned step rewrites the script.



From Blockage to Flow

The shift from a state of lack to one of flow is a spiritual awakening. 
We stop seeing money as something outside of ourselves and begin treating it with awareness and presence, as we do our thoughts, breath, and energy.

Hexagram 26 of the I Ching speaks of ‘accumulated strength and controlled release’. 
It suggests that true power is built over time, quietly, internally, until it flows out in wise, steady action. This is how we shift the financial flow. 
We build strength in stillness, gather wisdom in patience, and move only when aligned.

So, how does this look in practice?

  1. It begins with gratitude, not performative thanks but genuine recognition of what we already have. 
  2. It includes releasing the habit of CCJ (comparing, criticising, and being judgmental) of our progress or past. 
  3. It involves noticing when scarcity thoughts arise and responding with kindness, rather than panic.
  4. It may mean learning about money in new ways, not from fear of what we don’t know, but from excitement about what we’re ready to master
  5. It includes honouring our Shen by refusing to settle for financial stress as a permanent state. 
  6. And it always means choosing presence over pressure. The Tao never rushes. Neither must we.



Trusting in Flowing Worth

As we come to the end of this journal post, let us return to the question at its heart: 
What if the money struggle was never really about money?

‘Flowing Worth’ reminds us that healing is not in the numbers but in the narrative. 
Money flows through effort, belief, trust, and energetic clarity. 
We are not meant to hustle our way into worthiness. 
We are meant to remember that we have always been enough and worthy.

Let us promise this to ourselves and our Inner Child: 
  1. We will not doubt our strength again. 
  2. We will not tie our value to income or equate abundance with struggle. 
  3. We will take small, manageable steps, budget with clarity, learn without shame, and affirm our right to stability and ease.
  4. We release the old beliefs, drop the ‘poor’ narrative, and align with the Tao, where money is not an enemy but a messenger.
  5. We are not controlled by scarcity; we are creators of flow. 

This is not about riches for the sake of status. 
It's about safety, security, and the serenity that comes with being supported.

Let’s choose trust. 
Let’s choose presence. 
Let’s choose ‘Flowing Worth’. 
And from this place of gentle power, let the current of abundance carry us forward, one breath, one decision, one loving step at a time.

  • Have you ever found yourself stuck in the same patterns, again and again, wondering why, even when you know something isn’t working, you still keep doing it? 
  • Do you ever whisper to yourself, “I don’t even know why I bother,” as you retreat into silence, resignation, or routine? 

As frustrating as it may seem, this paradox is a powerful key to our transformation. 
It speaks to the Inner Child's longing: for safety, certainty, and control. 
But what if the very things we cling to for security are the same things holding us back?

In this journal, we’ll explore what we’ve come to call the Inner Child’s Paradox: 
the painful contradiction of craving change while clinging to what doesn’t work. 
We'll uncover why our Inner Child chooses familiarity over freedom, and how, with gentleness and clarity, we can guide it into a new way of perception. 

Through the teachings of Taoism and the wisdom of wu wei, we’ll discover how to move from stagnation into flow, not by force, but by understanding. 
Let us journey together into this delicate space, where the past echoes loudly, yet the future still calls our name.



The Illusion of Safety

The Inner Child often equates familiarity with safety. 
This isn’t irrational, it’s innocent. 

In many of our earliest emotional lessons, the Inner Child learns that consistency, even if it is painful, offers a predictable outcome. Even if it causes suffering, the Inner Child clings to old strategies, beliefs, and narratives because they are familiar and comfortable. 

It might echo:
“At least I know how this story ends.” 
“Better the devil you know.” 
This logic is simple yet powerful.

Here lies the contradiction. 
The Inner Child desperately wants relief from discomfort but refuses the unfamiliar path that might lead to peace. 
It might cry, “Nothing works, so why even try?” 
But this hopelessness isn’t the truth; it’s a misunderstanding. 
This is not a sign of defeat but a cue for more profound compassion.

The Tao Te Ching beautifully addresses this in Verse 52: 
“Knowing the mother, we return to the child. 
Holding the child, we find peace. 
When we close our mouths and quiet our senses, our spirit will be safe.” 

This ancient wisdom doesn’t suggest avoidance or silence out of fear; it invites a return to essence, to innocence, guided by understanding. 
Safety does not lie in control but in trust, in ourselves, in the Tao, and life’s unfolding.



Why Nothing Changes When Nothing Changes

If our Inner Child keeps pestering, 
“This is safer,” 
even when the consequences grow heavier, we must ask: 
“Safer for whom?” 

Often, it’s safer for the version of ourselves that feared criticism, that was hurt by unpredictability, that learned early on that being quiet, agreeable, or invisible meant surviving. 
But we are no longer that version. 
The Inner Child isn’t wrong; it’s outdated.

Teaching wu wei, or effortless effort, offers a gentle remedy. 
We do not demand that the Inner Child leap into the unknown; 
we guide it, step by step, to: 
  1. Trust that the unknown is not abandonment but transformation. 
  2. That change is not loss but liberation. 
  3. And that staying stuck is not safety, it’s smallness. 

We often expect immediate clarity or progress when we take that first courageous step into the unknown. But the Tao, in its quiet wisdom, invites us to pause, what Taoism beautifully calls “sitting in it.” 
This is the sacred moment where we don’t rush to fix or force, but instead allow space for the unknown to soften. In just a short while, what seemed uncertain begins to feel familiar. 
It’s in this stillness that transformation gently takes root.

The Inner Child may initially resist this space, misinterpreting stillness as stagnation. 
But if we stay present without judgment, the unfamiliar slowly becomes known. 
Once it feels safe, the next step becomes natural, unforced, unhurried, and harmonious with the Tao. 

This is the essence of actual change: 
A series of small, consistent steps that, over time, reshape our entire reality. We are not building a new path through pressure, but through presence. This soft, subtle unfolding rewires our deepest beliefs, not through dramatic leaps, but through steady, compassionate pacing.

Some might argue that change requires boldness and urgency, but Taoist wisdom reminds us that urgency often comes from fear, not truth. In contrast, the path of wu wei honours rhythm over reaction, alignment over ambition. The Inner Child must not be pushed; it must be partnered with. 
It requires us to show, not tell, that the unknown is not a void but a gateway. 
And once it sees that what was once unfamiliar can become safe, even comforting, it begins to trust the process.

So, we teach with presence. 
We step, we pause, we ‘sit in it’. 
And in doing so, we become fluent in the language of the Tao, turning unknowns into stepping stones, not by conquering them, but by walking through them gently. 
This is the true power of wu wei: a return to harmony, one calm and loving step at a time.

Every cycle we repeat can be seen not as failure, but as a call to reassess. 
The ‘Carousel of Despair’ spins only because we stay seated. 
If we rise, even slightly, we create space for a new possibility. 

The fear of failure, the desire for control, and the resistance to the unknown are simply the Inner Child’s protective habits. They are not our truth.

Hexagram 48 of the I Ching says: 
“The Well. Although old, it is not worn out. The source is deep. Clear it out, and you may draw freely.” 

This is our teaching. 
Even if our inner well has been neglected or polluted with doubt, it is not broken. 
It only needs clearing. 
And this clearing begins not with force, but with curiosity: 
“What do I believe, and why?”



Guiding the Inner Child into Curiosity

One of the most compassionate steps we can take is to gently redirect the Inner Child’s focus, not with commands or corrections, but with loving presence. 
When it cries out, “It’s hopeless,” 
we do not challenge or dismiss it. 
We listen. We honour the weight of that belief, and we respond with quiet assurance: 
“Yes, that’s what it seemed like before. But what if there’s another way?” 

At that moment, we are not solving; we are softening. We offer the Inner Child what it truly craves: the safety to be seen without criticism, comparison, or being judged.

This is the art of curiosity, not as a push for performance, but as an invitation to possibility. 
Our Shen whispers gently, 
“Let’s see what might happen if we try something new.” 

This delicate shift, this opening, creates space for transformation. 
And it is within that space that the power of wu wei unfolds. 
We align, we do not push. 
We follow the flow rather than force an outcome. 
We listen for the quiet rhythm of Shen, our spiritual essence, and in doing so, we teach the Inner Child a new language: one of connection, not control.

And here, the Golden Thread Process becomes our most sacred tool. 
This gentle inquiry, 
“Why do you believe that?” is not a trap or interrogation. 
It is a doorway to freedom. 

We lovingly guide the Inner Child to answer honestly: 
“I believe this… ’because’.” 
That simple word, ‘because,’ is a thread that leads us out of confusion and back to clarity. 
The journey begins at the red-light feeling, the emotional signal of discomfort, and rewinds to a core belief. This belief is never irrational to the Inner Child; it once made perfect sense. 
And now, in the light of compassion, it can be understood, expressed, and gently re-examined.

The Inner Child finally finds its voice in that sacred space, free from CCJ. It reveals what it once chose to believe to survive. And we, as loving guardians, hold their hand and say, 
“Thank you for protecting us. Let’s see if this belief still serves us.” 
From this new understanding, we walk together, not down the old, well-worn paths of fear, but along a new trail of intention.

Some may ask, 
“But isn’t this too slow? Don’t we need to be more decisive?” 

But real change is not made in haste. 
Quick decisions often arise from fear, not truth. 
Taoist wisdom teaches us that transformation does not bloom through speed but sincerity. 
A belief lived in for decades will not vanish through willpower; it must be met, honoured, and slowly transformed through truth, honesty and integrity.

With each question, each “because,” we gently unravel what no longer serves. 
We are not tearing anything down. 
We are simply clearing the way so the Inner Child can walk freely, led by curiosity instead of fear. 
This is how protection becomes authenticity. 
This is how the golden thread leads us, step by compassionate step, into alignment with the Tao.

So let us ask, listen, and follow that thread with patience and love because every small answer opens a bigger truth. And every bigger truth brings us closer to freedom.

As noted in our previous teaching, ‘Turning Negatives into Positives,’ we often hear the Inner Child use restrictive language: “I want to, but…,” “I can’t because…,” “It never works.” These are not signs of laziness or defeat but emotional echoes of earlier beliefs. 
By identifying and softening them, we help the Inner Child find new phrases: 
“I wonder if I could…” or 
“Let’s try just this one step.”



From Resignation to Reclamation

We do not need to jump into the unknown. 
We only need to take the next step with intention. 
Each step, however small, reclaims our power from the old scripts.

Let’s offer the Inner Child a new mantra: 
“I honour your fears, but they do not bind me. 
I create new possibilities, one choice at a time.” 

This is not denial, it’s expansion. 
When the Inner Child is heard, it becomes more willing to follow. 
It begins to trust that safety does not mean sameness.

In Verse 63, the Tao reminds us, 
“Do great things while they are small. 
Handle difficult things while they are easy.” 

This wisdom teaches us the value of consistent, gentle steps
We do not wait until we’re free of fear; we begin while afraid, with compassion.

Each act of kindness to ourselves, each refusal to fall into CCJ (Criticism, Comparison, and being Judgemental), is a brick laid on the path of emotional safety and self-acceptance. 

We are not here to force the Inner Child to grow up. 
We are here to grow with it and guide it into maturity by showing that life is not an endless repetition of unresolved issues but a spacious canvas awaiting new colours.



Honouring the Familiar Trap

So let us name the paradox not as failure, but as a map. 
The ‘Familiar Trap’ is not a prison but a well-worn doorway asking us to step beyond. 
We do not need to tear it down; we need only to walk gently to its edge and look beyond.

Let’s remember: the Inner Child is not broken. 
It is trying to protect us using outdated tools. 
Our task is not to shame it, but to educate it lovingly. 
By honouring its innocence while introducing it to the Tao’s wisdom, we transform from fear into flow. 

Let us affirm: 
“You are not trapped by what was; 
you are free to create what will be.”

And in those moments when we begin to doubt, let us return to this truth: 
transformation does not happen through pressure but through permission. 
The ‘Familiar Trap’ is not our fate. 
It’s just a pause in our journey, a place to gather insight before we rise again. 
With each breath, we create spaciousness. 
With each step, we forge new paths.

So let us take small, manageable steps, without expectations, without CCJ, and walk into the mystery, trusting that wu wei will guide our stride. Because the Tao does not rush, yet everything is accomplished.

This is our time to rise, softly, steadily, and truthfully. 
Let us choose freedom, not from fear, but from the false security of the familiar. 
‘Familiar Trap’ no more. 
Let’s walk out together and make that familiar not a trap.


The Quiet Art of Flourishing

Have you ever paused long enough to notice the hush between your thoughts? 
The hush that doesn't ask you to try harder, be more, or do anything at all? 
That quiet space, so often overlooked, is where inspiration gently breathes. 
But how often do we drown it out, thinking flourishing must come from striving, perfection, or control?

Flourishing, as Taoism teaches us, isn’t about blooming into something else; it’s about uncovering what already lives within us. It's not a race to become; it's a graceful return to being.

We flourish not by pushing but by aligning with the Tao, with our Shen, with the quiet wisdom already pulsing through us. 
We don’t need fixing. We need to trust the rhythm of life and step with it, not against it.

Our Inner Child may believe flourishing comes only after we’ve earned it, after we prove, perform, or please. But in wu wei, the principle of effortless effort, we discover the sacred truth: 
we flourish most when we stop resisting ourselves.

Inspiration arises when we make space for it. 
When we release the “shoulds,” stop comparing, and listen to the small, powerful voice of our Shen. 
Let this be a week where we pause, breathe, and trust.

Affirm: 
“I am already enough. I flourish not by force, but by alignment with the gentle rhythm of my spirit. I welcome inspiration as my natural state.”


Let’s carry this spirit forward. 
This week, may we choose to flourish, not by doing more, but by being more present. 
Honour your inspiration. 
Let it bloom.





David James Lees

 

sexta-feira, 6 de junho de 2025

Emotional Addiction

 


What is emotional addiction?






Can people actually be addicted to emotions? 
Science tells us: yes. 



Here’s what that looks like and why it happens.


Emotional addiction is a state where there is a dependency, as the name indicates, on some emotions – or more specifically, on the chemicals produced by the brain when particular emotions are triggered, better referred to as “hit emotions.” 
 
This chemical reaction to certain emotions gives our brain a similar “reward” feeling to the one it gets when using drugs.



How can we identify emotional addiction?

When your life is stable do you try to disrupt things (AKA, you self-sabotage) by watching the news, picking fights in your relationships, gossiping, etc.? 

When things feel calm do you tend to look for ways to generate a cortisol and adrenal spike within your system, even if the spike does not necessarily feel pleasant? (Stress, anger, and frustration as emotions one can be addicted to).

If you’re always in a state of (or seeking out situations that lead to) drama and chaos, this is a good sign you struggle with some form of emotional addiction. 



Why do some people have emotional addictions?

The reason why some of us might become addicted to certain emotions 
is the same reason why a person might become addicted to 
a substance or a behavior like sex or gambling: 
For comfort, release, reassurance, distraction, or escapism. 

If we grew up in homes where lack of stability, chaos, and being in a constant fight or flight state was the norm, safe, healthy, and connected relationships might feel boring and even scary. 
Our bodies and minds learn to make crisis and chaos their home. 
Our brain becomes addicted to the adrenaline and cortisol spikes released in these types of situations. 

Unconsciously, we learn to need “hits” of strong emotions to feel alive even if these are “negative emotions” or emotions that bring us suffering and discomfort. 

This is why crises tend to make some people feel good or even needed – they provide a distraction from deeper unresolved feelings and trauma, and it is a familiar way to connect with people, typically learned in childhood. 

Because connection with family members only happened through crisis and drama, these people will seek adult relationships and careers that mimic these same emotional patterns. 

People who were raised with cycles of emotional addiction might feel repelled, bored or unattracted to safe and stable relationships (because it feels unfamiliar, and unfamiliar equals scary).  

Our bodies gravitate towards what feels familiar (because familiar equals safety), so we might actively look for emotions, people, or experiences that trigger those familiar, albeit negative, feelings to find said comfort, release, reassurance, or, escapism.



How to heal from emotional addiction:


1. Practice self-awareness
Begin by observing how you feel around stability and safety. 
Is it triggering? 
Do you tend to self-sabotage by picking fights with your partner or family members?

2. Be compassionate, gentle, and patient with yourself. 
Unlearning patterns is a process that takes time, and that is okay. 

3. Set boundaries with people, situations, or places that trigger adrenaline and cortisol spikes.
This can look like removing yourself from relationships or places that feed this cycle of addiction, which can be difficult, but necessary to break free. 



The constant rush of adrenaline and cortisol can not only harm our health but also ultimately robs us of peace. 
Recognizing what emotional addiction looks like is the first step to healing from it. 
Remember, you are worthy and deserving of a peaceful, slow, safe, and nourishing life that is free from chronic chaos. 



Andrea Brunetti




terça-feira, 3 de junho de 2025

Stress Addiction





The dangers of chronic stress are widely stated, with researchers tying stress to everything from poor nutrition and sleep habits to heart disease and high blood pressure. Many people take steps to reduce stressors in their lives, including cutting down on their work hours, rethinking some of their interpersonal relationships and staying consistent with daily routines.

Virtually no one enjoys feeling stressed, so the idea that it could be addictive seems counterintuitive. We usually associate addictions with pleasurable activities and substances, and stress is neither of those things. To understand the idea of stress as an addiction, it’s helpful to know how stress affects the body.


What Is Stress?
The body has a variety of systems in place to protect it from danger, from physical characteristics such as skin and immune systems to signals in the brain such as fear, pain, and anxiety. 
Similarly, stress is a state meant to protect the body from threats from predators.

While most people will never be stalked by a lion, this doesn’t mean that modern life is free from stressors. Financial obligations, the mental load from school or work, caring for young or elderly family members, and even navigating rush hour traffic every day can all take a toll on the body. None of these things are direct threats to the individual’s life, but the body treats these as life-threatening perils and responds accordingly. As a result, the individual may always feel as if they’re at their breaking point.


Understanding the Stress Response
When a person comes across something that their brain perceives as a threat to their safety and well-being, it sets off a series of nerve and hormonal signals. 

Among the hormones the body releases are: 
adrenaline and cortisol.

Adrenaline provides an energy burst and raises the heart rate and blood pressure. 

Cortisol, which is commonly thought of as the stress hormone, increases the amount of sugar in the bloodstream and boosts the brain’s ability to convert that sugar to energy. 
Cortisol also curbs the body’s efforts to maintain nonessential responses and processes that could slow the individual’s fight-or-flight response. 
This may include the body’s immune responses, digestion and the reproductive system.


What is the Impact of Chronic Stress?
The body’s response to stress usually only lasts as long as the stressor is present. Once the danger passes, hormone levels taper off and the body’s functions return to normal. 
When the stress response system stays activated for a long period of time, the individual is more vulnerable to health risks such as:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Cardiovascular conditions
  • Memory problems
  • Weight gain
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Headaches
  • Muscle tension
  • Digestive problems


How Can Stress Be Addictive?
While we may think of stress as something unpleasant, the truth is that a lot of people thrive on it. Chronic stress gives us a boost of energy and makes us driven to succeed. 

Some people even turn their stress levels into a competition and are eager to explain the extent of their overcommitments, heavy workloads, and household responsibilities. 
We can start to get the idea that we’re not doing life right if we aren’t stretching ourselves too thin.

This is where the addictive element resides. 
For someone who’s accustomed to tight schedules, moving from one activity to the next without downtime and feeling like there are never enough hours in the day, the idea of life with fewer stressors can seem empty and unsatisfying. 

Even when someone recognizes the effect stress has on their eating and sleeping habits, relationships, and physical and mental health, coming down from stress feels uncomfortable. 
It’s easier to simply remain amped up and always on the move rather than experiencing the detox process of winding down. 
This is where stress addiction sets in.


In addition to adrenaline and cortisol, the body releases dopamine when it’s under stress. 
This chemical is like a reward for the brain, reinforcing certain behaviors. 
In other words, although someone feels the unpleasantness of stress, the reward they get from stress-inducing behaviors and patterns prevents them from making changes.

In many cases, individuals use stress to avoid the source of their unhappiness. 
Staying very busy is easier than confronting issues such as trauma or grief.

Stress addiction is similar to the way substance addictions work. 
Even as the individual sees the negative impact excessive drugs or alcohol may have on their health and relationships, they’re still driven to continue using the substance because it’s worth the reward the brain provides. 

Someone with an addiction to stress hormones may be aware of how their stress is impacting them, but they may be unwilling to lighten their load.


How Can You Recognize the Signs of Stress Addiction?
While someone with a substance addiction can live a sober life without using recreational drugs or alcohol, it’s unrealistic and unhealthy to try to completely eliminate all stressors. This can make it hard for someone to determine whether their chronic stress is a byproduct of modern life or if they’re actively taking on more than they can reasonably handle because of stress addiction.

The primary sign of stress addiction to stress is that they spend a lot of time thinking about their stress and how busy their lives are. They may be the ones who turn stress into a competition or who worry that they’re not doing life “right” if they’re not constantly on the move.

Someone with stress addiction may also find that they have no free time to pursue hobbies or spend unstructured time with friends and family. They continue to seek out additional stressors to take on even as their unhappiness grows and their relationships fall by the wayside.


Other signs that someone’s addicted to stress may include:

  • Unwillingness to take a vacation or thinking about work or caregiving responsibilities while on vacation
  • Feeling as though they thrive on tight deadlines
  • Procrastinating
  • Difficulty with downtime
  • Constantly worrying about what obligations they’re overlooking
  • Feeling unsettled when disconnected from their phone or computer
  • Feeling as though a full workday isn’t enough to accomplish necessary tasks
  • Lacking time for hobbies or relationships
  • Showing impatience when people are talking

Someone with a stress addiction is generally aware that they’re taking on too much. 
However, the idea of backing off their commitments makes them uneasy. 
They may feel that their stress is what gives their life meaning and purpose, and they have a hard time with the thought of finding satisfaction with a more laid-back lifestyle.


What are the Dangers of Stress Addiction?
Chronic stress and stress addictions have a serious impact on the individual’s physical and mental health. Even when someone seeks out stress, they may have difficulty coping with it and may self-medicate with alcohol or recreational drugs. 

They’re likely to experience symptoms such as 
fatigue, high blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, depression, social withdrawal, irritability, appetite changes, and a compromised immune system.


One of the biggest dangers of stress addiction is that they’re often reluctant to get help. 
For them, stress is a coping mechanism that lets them avoid difficult emotions, memories, or circumstances. 

For example, 
someone who’s had a significant loss may bury themselves in work to distract themselves from grief. Someone who experienced trauma as a child may have it ingrained in their minds that home isn’t a happy or safe place to be, so they keep themselves moving from one obligation to another to avoid downtime.

As is the case with most addictions, stress addiction often has a root cause that needs to be addressed before meaningful progress can be made. 
Talking with a mental health care professional is the first step in addressing the stress addiction and its underlying cause and finding a happier, more balanced life.


Kristina Robb-Dover








We always hear how stress can be detrimental for almost every health outcome, but how does it affect the internal workings of the body to have such wide-spread impacts? In this article, we dive into the systemic effects that stress has on our hormonal pathways.

When we experience stress, the body reacts to prepare for action and protect ourselves from serious harm. However, this response has been honed by evolution to be intense, short-lived, and with long restful periods between stress episodes. In modern day, most of us can agree that our lives look more like the opposite: prolonger low-grade stress (perhaps with shorter, highly intense stressful periods) and the occasional restful time such as a vacation.

As the chemical messengers that tell our systems what to do, our hormones pull the strings for our entire body.

What happens to our hormones during stress?


Hormone: Cortisol
 
What is it: The body’s main stress hormone
Effect from stress: Goes up
Major health implication: Weight gain

Cortisol is a huge contributor to the obesity epidemic we are witnessing. It increases fat deposition around our belly, raises blood sugar levels, increases ghrelin (our “hungry” signal), and decreases leptin (our “full” signal). These impacts of stress on appetite, satiety, and fat storage are highly significant for healthy weight maintenance.


Hormone: Catecholamines

What is it: Catecholamines (like adrenaline) trigger the fight-or-flight response
Effect from stress: Goes up
Major health implication: Heart attacks or stroke

Much of adrenaline’s functions work to reroute blood flow to the heart and muscles to increase cardiac output. Over time, surges of adrenaline can damage your blood vessels, raise your blood pressure, and increase your risk of getting a heart attack or a stroke.


Hormone: Gonadotropins

What is does: Regulate ovarian and testicular function
Effect from stress: Goes down
Major health implication: Reproductive disruption and fertility

Stress suppresses our gonadotropins leading to disrupted menstrual cycles in women and sub-optimal reproductive function. However, men are affected too. In males, stress-related gonadal dysfunction can lead to decreased sperm count and quality, as well as ejaculatory disorders and impotence.


Hormone: Thyroid hormones

What is does: Regulate metabolism, weight and energy
Effect from stress: Goes down
Major health implication: Hyperthyroidism

Thyroid function is usually down-regulated during stressful conditions, including hormones T3, T4 and thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH). Over time, this can cause a condition known as hyperthyroidism. The most common type is Graves’ Disease, which is an autoimmune disease characterized by a swollen thyroid gland in the throat, fatigue, anxiety, hair loss and more.


Hormone: Growth hormone (GH)

What is does: Regulate metabolism, weight and energy
Effect from stress: Goes down
Major health implication: Muscle loss or delayed growth

Although growth hormone increases during acute physical stress (like a workout), chronic mental stress can lower GH secretion. For children, this can lead to delayed growth and stunting. For adults, it might not affect your height, but it can sabotage muscle growth, sexual function and mood.




Stress is a complicated psychological and physiological response. 
While it is a completely healthy and normal part of life, many of us struggle with chronic stress that we brush off as “unavoidable” or something we just need to live with. 

The truth is, our body might be bearing the load for all the stress we put on our shoulders. 
Stress management needs to be integrated into our health plan, our anti-aging protocols, and our everyday life.



in, Biohacking, Functional Medicine